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Welcome to The Enumclaw Truck Stop Recruiting Board!
Attention you degenerate white devils. I know there have been lots of questions about what the future of this bored would be in a post-Dennis and Coker world. Would we just close down the bored? Would we let StrongBallz take it over? Would we turn it into an Oregon recruiting bored with Mosster in charge? Well, the answer…
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So, I was handcuffed last night....
...and it wasn't the good kind of handcuffed with a slut. It was the bad kind of handcuffed with a cop. He was sort of cute though? Everyone was making noise about how I didn't vote in the circle jerk contest last night. Well, let me tell you why, and also amplify the message about how much I still hate white people. CLS…
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This is interesting...
@williams3 who joined in 2015, and has never made a single comment, just donated 129 bucks for the site. You other losers have been shamed. @williams3 I will be PM'ing you nudes of spirit fingers @dnc for your dedication. Don't share them.
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What I think I think about Fresno State...always mix drugs and alcohol...
Reinjured an old toe injury on a motorcycle ride last week, and the doc gave me percocet. Threw back two of them and headed to the bar with CLS to watch the game. Lost consciousness at halftime due to mixing the percocet with Irish Car Bombs. CLS told me she and two of her girlfriends had to physically place me in the car…
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Announcement for the Bored (I hate myself so I am getting married)
Not sure where to put this, and I feel quite certain NOGAF, but, well, I am getting married one month from today. July 13th, a day that will live in infamy. A few of the people I sext with from the boreds already knew about this, and I thank them for keeping this quiet for so long. Good dudes on this here fan message…
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Update from Jamaica
Scored some weed from a rasta dude on the beach. Good weed. New girl gets baked with me while we watch an NCIS marathon on shitty satellite connection. Then she teaches me how to play Minecraft on the Xbox 360 in the room. Green dudes are pretty fucked up when you are stoned. We made a dick shaped tower. Teamwork. Then she…
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Merry Christmas You Fucking Assholes
So, the Poster of the Year results have been a tim of deep introspection (is this a word?) for me. It’s been a rough couple of years for me. Marriage. Children. Sobriety. The horribly disgusting shit sausages that come out of a Diaper Genie. The list goes on and on. The only constant I had during this difficult tim was…
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Story tim with Swaye....
Got into what I can only assume was egg nog that had gone bad on Thursday. Drank about a gallon of it that morning. Shit seems to have a raw oyster type of effect on me and I am looking for victory coitus immediately. CLS isn’t due for over a week and so I assume I am cleared in hot to paint the hallway one last tim before…
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Can we talk about this, like adults?
Ben Burr-Kirven. Hyphenated name faggot. What in the holy fuck is going on with this kids hair? I mean, it's obvious he's queer, but beyond that, what in the fuck?
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Homebrew Haught Talk Thred
Since @NoWarningJustDawg hasn't done it I will. With Football season right around the corner I ran out today to grab some homebrew components to brew this weekend. I picked up stuff to make a sierra nevada style ale, a blonde, and an english IPA. I typically brew batches in groups of 3 bc that's what I've got and they fit…
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What does marriage do to you?
Nothing, apparently.
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Later guys....
I have to go get married now. See you in a week, if she still lets me post. I'll tell you all about the honeymoon when we get back. We are going to Maltby. I hear good things.
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Cash Grab Update 8/30/18
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had…
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Strange and Wonderful Things Happen at Hardcore Husky
So, for any of you who spend time in @YellowSnow 's den of fun, you will know some cigar hawt talk has been occurring there lately. @UW_Doog_Bot has been on me for ages about starting to smoke cigars. Well, he has my address, because "butt stuff," and so today I get a cryptic sext from him showing shipping status on an…
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Apple Cup Adventure: AKA Fuck Thanksgiving My Life Sucks
Well, I blew it. Go figure. Curse my alcoholic boob loving red hide. My surest path to long-term wealth is hanging by a thread. My short-term wealth is in the shitter. I haven’t gotten laid since last Friday. Thanksgiving never, and I do mean never, works out for me. This flameout is nowhere near as spectacular a story as…
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I'm a giver.
I give until it hurts.
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Super Spectacular 10K Post
10,000 posts. I think this moment is supposed to be oddly fulfilling. If this site wasn’t such a pile of shit and infested with fags it might be. As it stands, hitting this milestone really puts things in perspective for me. I am a loser. I had originally planned on doing an ode to gif’s with my 10K (I like to call it 10K…
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New Watch Thread
Putting this here since horology is a mildly cultured thing, and the Tug is absolute Deep Anus AIDS. So, it had been several months since I did any watch trading or buying. Figured I was owed one and had my eye on NOMOS for a long time. Found a real bargain on one, which can be hard to do in the US (especially not gray…
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Update on Snow Storm
We have lost contact with our storm chasing reporter @YellowSnow but recent on scene reports from an illegally owned police scanner indicate he has chained himself to the Slurpee machine and has taken the Slim Jims hostage as the great blizzard of 2019 rages throughout King County. PTSD, arising from an event several years…
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Is it weird?
That I actually think we land Smalls? Top 3 player in the nation at any position. 5 years ago I would have given us a 10% chance. Under Sark 0% chance. I don't understand my life and what is going on when I wake up and think "Hey, why WOULDN'T we get Savvy?" It's like bizarro world. And I FUCKING love it.
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DM to Swaye
Why aren't you going to the Rose Bowl? Single Disposable EBT cash and lots of Frequent flyer miles from all of those Orkin exterminator conventions You have no excuse.
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PM to Swaye
I was having lunch with one of my dads at Chehalis Deli the other day and saw several Orkin dudes having lunch. It made me think of you. Most awkward boner of my life.
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People know me...
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What I learned this week....
I appreciate the people (you know who you are) who assumed when I didn't show up for a week I had died of an overdose. That's nice. I won't name names, because shit PM'ed to me stays with me, but one of our good friends here on the bored did actually get ticketed for weed possession last week. I hope it starts a long and…
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The UW Doog Pod Episode 6 Doogs in Hollywood
I once again record from Drumheller Fountain and the winds off of Mt. Rainier interfere with our improving audio quality, we laugh about BYU, we talk about recruiting as an omage to TSIO, those guys are fags.gif, I don't bother to clean things up in post, @TheRealUODuckGirl gets a shout out in a weird moment of @Swaye…
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What I think I think...Fighting Mormons Edition
Weddings are fucking terrible. Watching old people dance at wedding receptions is even worse. #prayforfall Wedding receptions with covert ops on the other hand can be much better. Open bar was nice. Even better was that the hotel had a kitchen, and I asked one of the Messican food servers if they had a TV, and they did! I…
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The UW Doog Pod Episode 5 Latter Day Doogs
If you listen closely you can here Swaye's spirit slowly draining away during the pod, we make threats against @iDawg if he never comes on the pod, the shout out arms race continues to escalate, ASU probably gets way too much of a breakdown but let's be honest, if you are listening to us you don't have anything better to…
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What I think I think....STD Edition
Watched the gayme at a buddies house who decided to throw a Pac-12 shitshow late night drink fest. Navy buddy who went to Arizona, so it was nice to have him wanting to watch ASU lose as well. He was happy because Arizona clubbed the shit out of that dumpster fire in Lake Oswego or wherever the Beavers are from. Other guys…
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Some perspective I didn't need.
I've been on this bored since mid-December 2012. So that is roughly 2100 days ago. I have 24,500 posts (roughly). That is an average of almost 12 posts a day every day for almost 6 years. You take out the two times I was in jail, and my rehab stint, plus vacations and fishing trips and all weekend Jeep events, faceplant…
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The UW Doog Pod Episode 3 Two Doogs and a Uoot
Swaye fends off hurricane Florence but eventually dies, we probably talk about North Dakota and Haener/Browning too much, and preview the Utah game as well as the PAC12 Souf'. The UW Doog Pod marches on! Episode 3: Two Doogs and a Uoot. Oh yeah, and our sound quality is still awful despite my best drunk efforts. Fuck off.…