Attention you degenerate white devils. I know there have been lots of questions about what the future of this bored would be in a post-Dennis and Coker world. Would we just close down the bored? Would we let StrongBallz take it over? Would we turn it into an Oregon recruiting bored with Mosster in charge?
Well, the answer is none of those truly shitty options. Someone DM’ed me several days ago and suggested that I take it over. My immense knowledge of all things related to teen boys could be displayed for the entire world to see and rejoice in. So, I spent some time analyzing this.
None of it made any sense to me at all. Instead of thinking harder, I did drugs, which is always a good go to when needing to make serious decisions.
That didn’t work either but I did end up in the bed of a pickup truck parked by a dumpster behind a bar called “The Manhole.” I finally decided the best way to approach this was to take a long hard (lulz) look in the mirror and determine what kind of man I wanted to be.
What. The. Fuck. Okay, it was now clear to me I should not spread my seed all over the denizens of HH. I don’t know shit after all. But, I do like taking credit for others work. With that in mind, here’s what is happening.
I will be taking over the bored from a moderation and general tomfoolery perspective. I solicited (lulz) some of our knowledgeable members for help on the actual recruiting stuff. They all turned me down. So I dropped down a few tiers, and assembled a crack JV team of TBS ninjas to do all the heavy lifting and make me look good.@Neighbor2972 @DoogCourics @Domicillo @HillsboroDuck
gays will create recruit profile threads, keep us locked in on twatter stalking, make mostly wrong prognostications, and generally run the day to day shit around here. The good news is we all kind of realized this place basically sort of runs itself organically, but they will ensure good info is flowing and recruits are being stalked appropriately. Maybe one of them will even make some type of recruit rating system one day, or maybe not. That sounds like a lot of work. If they do good work, I will pin their threads. If they suck, they will be scalped.
Also, if you are a Wigwam member, you can count on seeing some “premium” content in there from time to time. If you blab it out here, you’ll be sleeping with the fishes. If you don’t understand what I am cryptically hinting at will be found in the ‘Wam in upcoming months, you are too stupid to live and should probably kill yourself.
I promise to rule you as an intolerant and mildly bigoted dictator. So get ready fags. Here’s the rules:
1) White people suck and should always be referred to as shitty, regardless of actual ability. No other race talk permitted.
2) No calls for genocide or specific players, PSA family, or their lousy fat coaches deaths unless it’s by me.
3) Talking about a PSA as not good enough is fine but calling him a useless fuckface who should die is not.
4) Making comments about performing sex acts on a PSA’s Mom or younger Sister will not be tolerated. Brothers are fine, of course.
5) No porn. That’s what the Wigwam is for.
6) Only 247 rankings will be used. If you make a thread about team ranks or player ranks and list the composite you will be summarily executed.
I will not ban you, but I will delete threads and comments mercilessly if you break these rules and refer you to Stalin for that sweet Siberian justice if you cannot control yourself.
Before anyone asks, the name Enumclaw Truck Stop was chosen to illustrate the seedy nature of this whole addictive recruiting business, the hive of scum and villainy spirit of HH, and because I really like glory holes at truck stops. Plus the old Enumclaw Truck Stop used to sell fireworks and my uncle worked there.@SpiritHorse
will still be found here on HH, and I have a fresh supply of mescaline so get ready for some bold predictions about the 2020 class from everyone’s favorite magic motherfucking horse!
Have fun, bring some value to the bored, and enjoy the community run nature of our self-regulated TBS environment. Most importantly, send me nudes. TIA.
edit: Adding the class tracker here so I can save space on pinned threads. I am nothing if not efficient. FUCK OFF.
Shout out to @HuskyClaws
for keeping this updated. Please @ me when you do an update so I can keep this up to date. Gracias!
I'm still honored to be an HH associate....
Let the people live a little
I have received a couple of PM's about the rules - specifically rule number 1. AKA Fuck White People. While it is true that I have hated white people for longer than Dennis, in honor of his many contributions to HH in general and this bored in particular, and being that we are in the TBS zone, rule number 1 will now forever be known as the @Dennis_DeYoung Memorial Black Power Rule. I find that to be a fitting way to honor an alcoholic paraplegic dwarf gay black man with Maserati induced PTSD.
I am thinking of ways to honor @CokeGreaterThanPepsi that won't get us all arrested or put on any lists.