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Merry Christmas You Fucking Assholes
Swaye
Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,062
So, the Poster of the Year results have been a tim of deep introspection (is this a word?) for me. It’s been a rough couple of years for me. Marriage. Children. Sobriety. The horribly disgusting shit sausages that come out of a Diaper Genie. The list goes on and on.
The only constant I had during this difficult tim was that my internet street cred at HH was absolute and unassailable.
Turns out, the world of internet superstardom is a “what have you done for me lately” kind of business. See years of Husky fandom had taught me some bad lessons. I assumed, incorrectly, that if you were really good once, people would always view you through that prism and you could be a half rate version of what you once were, just mail it in every year, and the people would still line up to suck you off. Works for the UW AD, why not me? was my line of thinking here.
So, the results are now in. The only tim this place actually liked me was when my life was a complete mess. Falling down repeatedly, abusing my liver, dodging STDs with whores. This was what the masses wanted. Stories to make you feel better about your shitstain life. I get it now. I was the HH Cabin Boy. Dance monkey dance.
Welp, Christmas being a tim of reflection, and scantily clad Santa’s helper porn, I have been doing some deep thinking about my predicament. It has not gone well.
That about sums it up. Just remember the magical tims we had together.
I have deeply enjoyed my tim here. Well, most of it. The parts without the racism. Well, those were actually pretty good if I’m honest. Butt seriously, I liked the racism stuff. Smallpox is never not funny. Still, it’s tim for a change. I need to feel appreciated again. Pretty sure my wife hates me. My job sucks. I keep asking friends to take the shit sausages to the trash so they have all stopped coming around. That National Championship banner I got from this place a couple years ago is all I have left. I need it. Respect from strangers on the interwebz. It’s my new drug. Therefore, I will be taking my talents to Hair of the Dawg. A rather shitty BDTW-esque fan board dedicated to Georgia Bulldog Football. We will see if I can turn that place into a Top-5 internet fan board like I did with this shithole. Please respect my decision. No interviews.
p.s. Die Hard is a Christmas movie you fucking imbeciles.
The only constant I had during this difficult tim was that my internet street cred at HH was absolute and unassailable.
Turns out, the world of internet superstardom is a “what have you done for me lately” kind of business. See years of Husky fandom had taught me some bad lessons. I assumed, incorrectly, that if you were really good once, people would always view you through that prism and you could be a half rate version of what you once were, just mail it in every year, and the people would still line up to suck you off. Works for the UW AD, why not me? was my line of thinking here.
So, the results are now in. The only tim this place actually liked me was when my life was a complete mess. Falling down repeatedly, abusing my liver, dodging STDs with whores. This was what the masses wanted. Stories to make you feel better about your shitstain life. I get it now. I was the HH Cabin Boy. Dance monkey dance.
Welp, Christmas being a tim of reflection, and scantily clad Santa’s helper porn, I have been doing some deep thinking about my predicament. It has not gone well.
That about sums it up. Just remember the magical tims we had together.
I have deeply enjoyed my tim here. Well, most of it. The parts without the racism. Well, those were actually pretty good if I’m honest. Butt seriously, I liked the racism stuff. Smallpox is never not funny. Still, it’s tim for a change. I need to feel appreciated again. Pretty sure my wife hates me. My job sucks. I keep asking friends to take the shit sausages to the trash so they have all stopped coming around. That National Championship banner I got from this place a couple years ago is all I have left. I need it. Respect from strangers on the interwebz. It’s my new drug. Therefore, I will be taking my talents to Hair of the Dawg. A rather shitty BDTW-esque fan board dedicated to Georgia Bulldog Football. We will see if I can turn that place into a Top-5 internet fan board like I did with this shithole. Please respect my decision. No interviews.
p.s. Die Hard is a Christmas movie you fucking imbeciles.
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Comments
Sweet little school girls . . .
I can see @Swaye's reasons.
I don’t know if this is serious or not, but I gotta say unlike these jackals I was not amused by your old ways (that and the fact you broke into my house on multiple occasions). The drinking, the drugs, the whoring was disgusting.
But as you got sober, found gainful employment at Orkin, bought some sweet ass watches, and showed that your capable of a long-term committed relationship my previous revulsion softened into well...something approaching fondness.
When you became a father I talked to my attorney about possibly dropping the restraining order.
Who knows what could’ve been had you continued on this trajectory, but I guess now we’ll never know.
Dances With Wolves is a dick.
Yes! He's indeed a dick.
In defense of Dances With Wolves, he got Stands with Fist to drop her buckskin. A regular Roger Vadim of the Plains.
Yore internet son, FudgePack
It really shows how our cold dismissal of our noble Swaye in this dark and uncertain time is a continuation of a centuries old tradition. Dances With Wolves didn't even offer them some blankets with winter closing in. We can at least amend that and put together a care package of blankets and booze for our guy.