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What I learned this week....
Swaye
Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,511 
I appreciate the people (you know who you are) who assumed when I didn't show up for a week I had died of an overdose. That's nice. I won't name names, because shit PM'ed to me stays with me, but one of our good friends here on the bored did actually get ticketed for weed possession last week. I hope it starts a long and meaningful career for them in drug abuse. Kind of a gateway arrest. I loved my first time. Anyway, back to the story of my week....
So, was feeling pretty dejected after the Oregon loss. I'm going to miss @Gladstone and I figured @oregonblitzkrieg would make @Doog_de_Jour have an avatar of a gay man in a Duck costume. Because he's a faggot. I was also pissed that we haven't found a kicker in 5 years, and that Pete is a complete pussy, and that we wasted Shitsox only career defining late game drive for a win, and that Chins still weren't back. Life pretty much sucked hard.
Imagine my surprise when my phone rang Saturday night and my agent said he had the job of a lifetime for me. Turns out @ElizabethWarrenDWAG 's people had reached out to my people and wanted me to validate her Cherokee status based on "revealing" DNA results. I cleaned the pile of Cheetos off my chest and sprang into action. We ended up meeting in North Carolina and I put that milky white bitch in a wigwam and we had a sweat. So @SpiritHorse shows up on hour 12 after she had already pissed herself 3 times and was mumbling incoherently, takes one look at her and says "Bitch, you ain't Injun! lulz!" That was that, and her people gave me a thousand bucks to sign a non-disclosure agreement that I am ignoring after taking the money because I lie and steal all the time. So the important thing in all this is I got paid, Pocahontas is a complete fucking fraud, and Trump wins again.
And did the spirits ever smile on me when I was gone! Turns out BBK is actually an Injun warrior. I am sorry I made fun of you for three fucking years you milky white magic motherfucker. Smooches. And, @oregonblitzkrieg went completely off the rails after getting crushed by some loser faggots from Pullman, which is always fun to watch. Pete is still a giant pussy, but meh. And @puppylove_sugarsteel podded with my life partner @UW_Doog_Bot (RIP @dnc ).... Best of all, I come back to CHINS. FUCK YES!
I am also quite happy that @RuffaloSoldier has probably killed himself by now. Wins all the way around this week, except @Gladstone . Proof that after soul wrenching losses, great things can happen, even if you are a pathetic loser Husky fan like me.
Thanks for reading, and fuck Elizabeth Warren right in her fake lying pretend red butthole.
Let's take a moment to celebrate an actual First Nation sister, instead of a lying cunt from Boston.
p.s. I am kind of bummed I missed out on @Fire_Marshall_Bill 's pick em. Probably for the best, because I assume I was in 33rd place or some shit.
So, was feeling pretty dejected after the Oregon loss. I'm going to miss @Gladstone and I figured @oregonblitzkrieg would make @Doog_de_Jour have an avatar of a gay man in a Duck costume. Because he's a faggot. I was also pissed that we haven't found a kicker in 5 years, and that Pete is a complete pussy, and that we wasted Shitsox only career defining late game drive for a win, and that Chins still weren't back. Life pretty much sucked hard.
Imagine my surprise when my phone rang Saturday night and my agent said he had the job of a lifetime for me. Turns out @ElizabethWarrenDWAG 's people had reached out to my people and wanted me to validate her Cherokee status based on "revealing" DNA results. I cleaned the pile of Cheetos off my chest and sprang into action. We ended up meeting in North Carolina and I put that milky white bitch in a wigwam and we had a sweat. So @SpiritHorse shows up on hour 12 after she had already pissed herself 3 times and was mumbling incoherently, takes one look at her and says "Bitch, you ain't Injun! lulz!" That was that, and her people gave me a thousand bucks to sign a non-disclosure agreement that I am ignoring after taking the money because I lie and steal all the time. So the important thing in all this is I got paid, Pocahontas is a complete fucking fraud, and Trump wins again.
And did the spirits ever smile on me when I was gone! Turns out BBK is actually an Injun warrior. I am sorry I made fun of you for three fucking years you milky white magic motherfucker. Smooches. And, @oregonblitzkrieg went completely off the rails after getting crushed by some loser faggots from Pullman, which is always fun to watch. Pete is still a giant pussy, but meh. And @puppylove_sugarsteel podded with my life partner @UW_Doog_Bot (RIP @dnc ).... Best of all, I come back to CHINS. FUCK YES!
I am also quite happy that @RuffaloSoldier has probably killed himself by now. Wins all the way around this week, except @Gladstone . Proof that after soul wrenching losses, great things can happen, even if you are a pathetic loser Husky fan like me.
Thanks for reading, and fuck Elizabeth Warren right in her fake lying pretend red butthole.
Let's take a moment to celebrate an actual First Nation sister, instead of a lying cunt from Boston.
p.s. I am kind of bummed I missed out on @Fire_Marshall_Bill 's pick em. Probably for the best, because I assume I was in 33rd place or some shit.
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Comments
He’ll claim injun dna before the bowel game then Ohio St will trump him again.
Feel the hate
Careful there. The Throbber will fuck you up.