Story tim with Swaye....
Comments
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She was already on those because I have been known to tear them up as well. @savagethenipplesYellowSnow said:
Make sure you have the docs give you the prescription tittay cream with roids. Most newborns will tear ‘em up in the first month.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career. -
In six months or so, when baby's trying to grab a sammich outta your hand, you'll both realize all you want is her food and she yours.Swaye said:
She was already on those because I have been known to tear them up as well. @savagethenipplesYellowSnow said:
Make sure you have the docs give you the prescription tittay cream with roids. Most newborns will tear ‘em up in the first month.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career. -
Christ.Swaye said:
She was already on those because I have been known to tear them up as well. @savagethenipplesYellowSnow said:
Make sure you have the docs give you the prescription tittay cream with roids. Most newborns will tear ‘em up in the first month.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
Seriously roids are the miracle cure all. But beware the toddler roid rage. It’s scary shit. -
If @swaye didn’t hate white culture enough, being exposed to the industry that is “help my white wife not worry so much” will break him
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Also, the road side shitmaggedan prepares you, to a degree, for your first diaper blowout.
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Ahh, the good old daysMad_Son said:
We used to survive at much lower rates.whlinder said:
Sometimes I find it amazing that our species has survived for thousands of yearsdnc said:
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers. -
What’s old is new again. Just 11 more years to go.whlinder said:
Ahh, the good old daysMad_Son said:
We used to survive at much lower rates.whlinder said:
Sometimes I find it amazing that our species has survived for thousands of yearsdnc said:
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers. -
None of this sounds cute or endearing to me. Just awful lol
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As a non-breeder, you have both my condolences and my congratulations.
I read this while finishing my weeklong vacation in the Caribbean. I’ll be sure to have a couple extra shots for you and your new spawn.
I’ll miss the good times we used to have!
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Confirmed.1to392831weretaken said:What has me laughing is that probably 81% of us were reading this while on the shitter. I know I was!
Congratulations on the end of what you want mattering! It's worth it, though.
