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Welcome to the Hardcore Husky Forums. Folks who are well-known in Cyberland and not that dumb.

Story tim with Swaye....

1235714

Comments

  • MikeDamoneMikeDamone Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,781
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Awesomes 5 Up Votes
    Swaye's Wigwam

    My wife couldn't nurse. She fought it for a month because Facebook makes mothers who can't nurse feel like the scum of the earth, but eventually she caved and we switched to the world's most expensive formula because my son's stomach is an asshole.

    My advice is to stage an elaborate ruse. Hire actors to play newscasters, make sure she's watching "the news" when your anchors announce a permanent global internet outage. Just make sure the router is unplugged when she tests it, and disable all but voice and text on her phone. It'll be worth it in the long run: you do NOT want CLS exposed to Social Media Competitive Momming.

    Your son has an asshole for a stomach? That must look odd.

  • MikeDamoneMikeDamone Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,781
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Awesomes 5 Up Votes
    Swaye's Wigwam

    My wife couldn't nurse. She fought it for a month because Facebook makes mothers who can't nurse feel like the scum of the earth, but eventually she caved and we switched to the world's most expensive formula because my son's stomach is an asshole.

    My advice is to stage an elaborate ruse. Hire actors to play newscasters, make sure she's watching "the news" when your anchors announce a permanent global internet outage. Just make sure the router is unplugged when she tests it, and disable all but voice and text on her phone. It'll be worth it in the long run: you do NOT want CLS exposed to Social Media Competitive Momming.

    Fuck competitive mommying.

    All things being equal, tit milk is better, especially factoring in that it’s free. But Formula is fine. I was raised on basically the Folgers of formula (hi @MikeDamone ) in the late 70s and I turned out one strong ass galley slave. Maff was always hard so maybe with boob milk I’d be less pour.
    Free Pub!
  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Member Posts: 26,538
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Up Votes Combo Breaker
    Eh. If your wife can't do breastfeeding, just add the cost of the formula into the dowry.

    Problem solved
  • TurdBomberTurdBomber Member Posts: 19,735
    First Anniversary 5 Up Votes 5 Awesomes First Comment

    Also, the road side shitmaggedan prepares you, to a degree, for your first diaper blowout.

    Ah, the shit-goes-everywhere experience! Worse than a sick dog, and smellier too. Every kid does one or two in their first year.

    Have your spray bottle of enzymatic shit disintegrator at the ready.

    Ask at your pharmacy. They'll know what you're talking about.

    Oh, yeah: Congrats, if I haven't already said so. And sorry about your ass.
  • TurdBomberTurdBomber Member Posts: 19,735
    First Anniversary 5 Up Votes 5 Awesomes First Comment

    My wife couldn't nurse. She fought it for a month because Facebook makes mothers who can't nurse feel like the scum of the earth, but eventually she caved and we switched to the world's most expensive formula because my son's stomach is an asshole.

    My advice is to stage an elaborate ruse. Hire actors to play newscasters, make sure she's watching "the news" when your anchors announce a permanent global internet outage. Just make sure the router is unplugged when she tests it, and disable all but voice and text on her phone. It'll be worth it in the long run: you do NOT want CLS exposed to Social Media Competitive Momming.

    So true. I’m appalled with how some mothers treat other mothers...you aren’t a “good mom” if you don’t breastfeed for x amount of time, or go back to work too soon, etc. Fuck those women.
    The ladies are murder on one another, and they start young. Believe me.

    You gotta be tuff to be a woman in our society. Your kind will play head games with you until you're all in your 90s and drinking your dinner through a straw.

    Brutal gender.
    And California passed a law making it mandatory to have women on your company's Board of Directors? Shoot me.
  • minion_doogminion_doog Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 1,946
    First Anniversary 5 Awesomes 5 Up Votes First Comment
    Swaye's Wigwam
    #WeirdBonerThread
  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Member Posts: 26,538
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Up Votes Combo Breaker
    No one cares about other people's kids.

    You don't care about other people's kids. Why would you think others care about yours?
  • TurdBomberTurdBomber Member Posts: 19,735
    First Anniversary 5 Up Votes 5 Awesomes First Comment

    No one cares about other people's kids.

    You don't care about other people's kids. Why would you think others care about yours?

    @GDS Pedophile cares a lot about other peoples kids. Way too much.
  • GilbystaintGilbystaint Member Posts: 1,061
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Awesomes 5 Up Votes
    Sorry so late to the friggin’ party. Pure gold as usual. Congratulations @Swaye all my best to you and CLS! Fatherhood is wonderful thing. Easy for me to say because I am in the rewards phase.
  • PurpleThrobberPurpleThrobber Member Posts: 41,660
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Awesomes 5 Up Votes
    edited December 2019

    image

    Make mommy'ing great again.

  • PurpleThrobberPurpleThrobber Member Posts: 41,660
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Awesomes 5 Up Votes

    Any parent that has a screen time prohibition is FS. We'd be divorced already if it wasn't for the miracle of TV babysitter.

    Everything I know I learned on All My Children during mommy nap time.

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