So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.
So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers.
Sometimes I find it amazing that our species has survived for thousands of years
So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers.
Sometimes I find it amazing that our species has survived for thousands of years
For those wondering, my asshole has finally stopped belching hot fire. Pretty sure it will never be the same though. In an interesting corollary to my ass issues, little FRANNY torched off her first round and it can only be described as some weird tar like substance. I was pretty sure she was actually a demon spawn until the nurse told me that's normal for a little while. Damn. I was hoping I created a minion of otherwordly evil sent here to enslave the white race. Dreams die hard.
For those wondering, my asshole has finally stopped belching hot fire. Pretty sure it will never be the same though. In an interesting corollary to my ass issues, little FRANNY torched off her first round and it can only be described as some weird tar like substance. I was pretty sure she was actually a demon spawn until the nurse told me that's normal for a little while. Damn. I was hoping I created a minion of otherwordly evil sent here to enslave the white race. Dreams die hard.
For those wondering, my asshole has finally stopped belching hot fire. Pretty sure it will never be the same though. In an interesting corollary to my ass issues, little FRANNY torched off her first round and it can only be described as some weird tar like substance. I was pretty sure she was actually a demon spawn until the nurse told me that's normal for a little while. Damn. I was hoping I created a minion of otherwordly evil sent here to enslave the white race. Dreams die hard.
This is just the beginning of all the weird substance that will exit your spawn over the next 24-36 months.
T’s and P’s to your time and all the things you used to do.
So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers.
Sometimes I find it amazing that our species has survived for thousands of years
So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
Make sure you have the docs give you the prescription tittay cream with roids. Most newborns will tear ‘em up in the first month.
Comments
I was also watching the interview the Sunoco manager gave:
Congratulations, and Ts & Ps to your wallet and asshole
Cheers--
Raising a daughter will change your life in a million ways. Some of them even good!
In all seriousness, congratulations my guy, super super happy for you!
Your life will be changed for the better.
You have a duty and responsibility...teach her right.
She can be a replica of you, good man or bad man. It’s up to you. Be a good father and be there pod.
I see some of my handiwork in the comments though.
Keep her off the pole.
Congratulations on the end of what you want mattering! It's worth it, though.
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers.
T’s and P’s to your time and all the things you used to do.