And if Mrs Swaye has a wedding website then the competitive momming on FB isn’t far behind
Find the actual wedding thanks and pull up wedding crashers style.
I already listed the possible country clubs and made my call: Bull Run country club.
RTJ: think too exclusive. If Swaye is marrying into RTJ money then seriously the Indian life is the life to live Dominion Valley has their clubhouse burn down and don’t think they’re rebuilt and able to handle weddings yet. Stonewall is public so not nice enough Heritage Hunt is full of old people and not really a wedding facility.
guarantee I will not give any marriage advice - I am on number 3- that is all I have to say about that one. If it doesn't work out after she catches you playing the weekly pick game and being obscene as all get out, then I can help.
I have 2 daughters and 2 sons - the kids are great, I showed them a bad example and they turned out good. So you should be good in the parenting field.
Enjoy the trip you crazy ass injun. From an honorary member of the Makah nation, Squattopee
edit: I wore my chincredible finger out on this thread - it delivers
I’m Surprised more of you idiots haven’t figured out that you can counter the women bullshit Facebook competitiveness with other things in the opposite direction.
As someone who is a fuckup at everything except fixing things around the house or cooking a steak I look like a fucking god compared to a lot of the degenerative fuckstick stories that get posted here. My wife has a username here just because I sent her enough links with a bunch of your stories/comments.
Makes me look not too bad in comparison.
Got caught flirting with her friend? well at least I didn’t have her friend on the sink at a friends house
Talk like an idiot about politics? At least I don’t sound like Hondo or Freeme
Get drunk and throw up in the Uber after a wedding party and got the car towed after leaving it illegally parked in front of a police station? Hey at least I didn’t drive our car 100 mph into a tree.
Same goes for TV, flip on something like 90 day fiancé or whatever trailer trash show on TLC is on and suddenly you are competent in comparison.
Humans only measure things relatively, don’t try and raise yourself up, just lower the perception of the bar.
Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
I’m Surprised more of you idiots haven’t figured out that you can counter the women bullshit Facebook competitiveness with other things in the opposite direction.
As someone who is a fuckup at everything except fixing things around the house or cooking a steak I look like a fucking god compared to a lot of the degenerative fuckstick stories that get posted here. My wife has a username here just because I sent her enough links with a bunch of your stories/comments.
Makes me look not too bad in comparison.
Got caught flirting with her friend? well at least I didn’t have her friend on the sink at a friends house
Talk like an idiot about politics? At least I don’t sound like Hondo or Freeme
Get drunk and throw up in the Uber after a wedding party and got the car towed after leaving it illegally parked in front of a police station? Hey at least I didn’t drive our car 100 mph into a tree.
Same goes for TV, flip on something like 90 day fiancé or whatever trailer trash show on TLC is on and suddenly you are competent in comparison.
Humans only measure things relatively, don’t try and raise yourself up, just lower the perception of the bar.
I’m Surprised more of you idiots haven’t figured out that you can counter the women bullshit Facebook competitiveness with other things in the opposite direction.
As someone who is a fuckup at everything except fixing things around the house or cooking a steak I look like a fucking god compared to a lot of the degenerative fuckstick stories that get posted here. My wife has a username here just because I sent her enough links with a bunch of your stories/comments.
Makes me look not too bad in comparison.
Got caught flirting with her friend? well at least I didn’t have her friend on the sink at a friends house
Talk like an idiot about politics? At least I don’t sound like Hondo or Freeme
Get drunk and throw up in the Uber after a wedding party and got the car towed after leaving it illegally parked in front of a police station? Hey at least I didn’t drive our car 100 mph into a tree.
Same goes for TV, flip on something like 90 day fiancé or whatever trailer trash show on TLC is on and suddenly you are competent in comparison.
Humans only measure things relatively, don’t try and raise yourself up, just lower the perception of the bar.
Already been PMed and NO, none of you are invited to the wedding. Jesus. As if shit wasn't bad enough, imagine my new in-laws joy at getting to meet @CuntWaffle , @PurpleThrobber and @Rapeculturedawg .
So in other words, you'll be hiding the Hardcore Husky part of your identity from your wife? I've seen a lot of romantic comedies, so I know how this is gonna play out.
So, football, me and CLS have a rather rocky history. I direct you to this thread from 18 months ago...
I think, after that debacle, it is probably best to keep the football and gambling side of my life private, unless I am stupid and like the idea of alimony. Hard to pay up on 12 bucks per hour at Orkin. This event from the past is one of the ones we disagree on whether or not it was really "cheating." I contend it was just accidental tit sucking while completely obliterated. She sees it differently. All the times I fucked sink girl we were officially broken up, so I am in the clear there. Good to go. I do not however think CLS wants to go to any major football games with me anytime soon.
That thread is the reason I quit lurking and joined the bored. Fuck, I guess it’s time PM @IrishDawg22.
Little Swaye better be a half-brain if you raised him wrong
Do not find out the sex for like 8 more weeks, but if God has any kind of a sense of humor it will be a girl. I'll reach out to @Doog_de_Jour to find out how to make her a DWAG fan for life. If she will just drop the restraining order. Wedding present maybe?
Oh my goodness! I’m so excited for you!!! My attorney will be crushed as all the billable hours he’s charged me for filing *multiple* restraining orders against you have put two of kids through private school...but FTG.
Anyway I’m rushing out to buy those Mr. and Mrs. fondue sets on your Bed Bath and Beyond wedding registry now...
I thought you were the one, but I see my ham handed fixation on you, and climbing through your bedroom window, made ours a forbidden love. Thanks for this late stage forgiveness, and I truly look forward to my fondue set.
Comments
And if Mrs Swaye has a wedding website then the competitive momming on FB isn’t far behind
RTJ: think too exclusive. If Swaye is marrying into RTJ money then seriously the Indian life is the life to live
Dominion Valley has their clubhouse burn down and don’t think they’re rebuilt and able to handle weddings yet.
Stonewall is public so not nice enough
Heritage Hunt is full of old people and not really a wedding facility.
I have 2 daughters and 2 sons - the kids are great, I showed them a bad example and they turned out good. So you should be good in the parenting field.
Enjoy the trip you crazy ass injun. From an honorary member of the Makah nation, Squattopee
edit: I wore my chincredible finger out on this thread - it delivers
Mazel tov, @Swaye.... you're a really good dude, and this shithole is a happier and funnier place for having you around. I hope you don't disappear.
God speed,
gunt
It's said to see how far Swaye has fallen.
Yours lovingly,
Big (lie) Red
XOXOXOXOXOXXO