Announcement for the Bored (I hate myself so I am getting married)
Comments
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So freaking true.Gladstone said:
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.
We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:
"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".
Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination. -
Holy Christ what have I done??!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?dnc said:
So freaking true.Gladstone said:
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.
We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:
"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".
Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination. -
Holy shit, that is truth right there.dnc said:
So freaking true.Gladstone said:
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.
We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:
"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".
Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination. -
This announcement is going many strange and wonderous places. I want to kill myself more after reading it.
Where is my life mentor @RaceBannon to cheer me up???? -
I should add my mother is basically an invalid and wouldn't be physically able to take our kids for two hours let alone a week.dnc said:
So freaking true.Gladstone said:
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.
We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:
"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".
Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination.
We kid a lot about two dads but it's probably a lot easier to deal with one than one mom. -
Oh, one more--even better--tip:
Vasectomies are easy and painless. Go to an actual urologist who does a dozen per week and not your family doctor who's done like three and will chinevitably do something that will leave your sack swollen like a painful cantaloupe. -
Holy fuck this could be me in 2 weeks. Verbatim.dnc said:
So freaking true.Gladstone said:
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.
We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:
"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".
Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination. -
It's like qualifying for a military pension, then going to work for state/local government and getting another one.....Swaye said:
Yes, and bury me outside on a scaffold she builds herself and ties together with her own hair. The only downer is she is also supposed to cover me in blankets, which will delight many assholes here.GrundleStiltzkin said:So she’s younger, you’re older and Indian. When you chinevitably die sooner, will she be required to cut off a finger in mourning, as is the custom with your people?
The shitty reality is since I am 15 years older than her, and dudes already live shorter lives, and my years have been "hard living" years, she will probably bury me in her mid-50s and then use all my Orkin savings on the next asshole. Her devious white devil plan all along?
Smart financial move. Cost her a few hummers on older dudes, but what the fuck...worth it.
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Dad's Weekend really brings out the co-ed revenge issues if you're looking for something to do in the Fall.backthepack said:Im going to wazzu on mom’s weekend to do some Cougar Hunting.
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Yep. We all have stories similar to this. It just engenders artificiality. Empty people seeking validation for negative reasons leading to a ton of ugliness. I wasn’t going to bring sex into it but yes, women are hostile as fuck to each other lol.dnc said:
So freaking true.Gladstone said:
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.
We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:
"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".
Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination.
Facebook represents pretty much everything I loathe about people.
