Announcement for the Bored (I hate myself so I am getting married)
Comments
-
Maybe she will end up her mother’s daughter and do shit like play tennis and wear polo shirts. Feel free to shoot me her number in about 18 years!Swaye said:
God hates me. This is 100% my future. She will probably end up in porn.PurpleJ said:
It would be peak irony if she turned into a tatted up slut someday.Swaye said:
Do not find out the sex for like 8 more weeks, but if God has any kind of a sense of humor it will be a girl. I'll reach out to @Doog_de_Jour to find out how to make her a DWAG fan for life. If she will just drop the restraining order. Wedding present maybe?backthepack said:Little Swaye better be a half-brain if you raised him wrong
Worry bout u Swaye! -
But seriously, congratulations. Not sure if anyone has asked yet, but can I come to your wedding?
-
This shit is hysterical. I didn't even know this existed. Think of all the retarded husband and Dad shit I don;t know but will be learning...1to392831weretaken said:
I call it "competitive momming." Live in Yuppyville like me, and it's even worse. You're made to feel guilty for not putting your kids in expensive private schools or after-school programs, not getting them the best things, not sacrificing as much as the other mom. I'm so sick of watching my friends' wives climb up on their crosses and then complain about it.dnc said:
This is highly accurate. Also the driver of a ton of unneccessary expenses. Like I said before I lucked out and married a minimalist but if CLS isn’t one, keep her off social media and especially Pinterest.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet. -
East Queen Anne is the epicenter of competitive mommying in our region.1to392831weretaken said:
I call it "competitive momming." Live in Yuppyville like me, and it's even worse. You're made to feel guilty for not putting your kids in expensive private schools or after-school programs, not getting them the best things, not sacrificing as much as the other mom. I'm so sick of watching my friends' wives climb up on their crosses and then complain about it.dnc said:
This is highly accurate. Also the driver of a ton of unneccessary expenses. Like I said before I lucked out and married a minimalist but if CLS isn’t one, keep her off social media and especially Pinterest.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet. -
Fuck marriage sounds horrible.
-
It's actually pretty awesome if you pick the right person and you're ready for the commitment.backthepack said:Fuck marriage sounds horrible.
-
Pretty sure we had a fight six months ago and this was the exact quote:backthepack said:Fuck marriage sounds horrible.
Really looking forward to the next 30 years together. She will probably shoot me. -
It’s a no for me dawgdnc said:
It's actually pretty awesome if you pick the right person and you're ready for the commitment.backthepack said:Fuck marriage sounds horrible.
-
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet. -
I will live on through your dick (no homo). Please send pics. TIAbackthepack said:
It’s a no for me dawgdnc said:
It's actually pretty awesome if you pick the right person and you're ready for the commitment.backthepack said:Fuck marriage sounds horrible.
