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Announcement for the Bored (I hate myself so I am getting married)

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Comments

  • backthepack
    backthepack Member Posts: 19,937
    whlinder said:


    Not injun enuff
  • backthepack
    backthepack Member Posts: 19,937
    edited June 2019
    whlinder said:


    Cans too small
  • Houhusky
    Houhusky Member Posts: 5,537

    whlinder said:


    Not injun enuff
    Imagine going around saying "Yatahey, my name is Patrick" and trying to pass on a Res
  • dirtysouwfdawg
    dirtysouwfdawg Member Posts: 14,087
    Not any of them, none are tonto or dances with wolves.
  • backthepack
    backthepack Member Posts: 19,937
    This only further cements that I’m never getting married. Fuck that.
  • backthepack
    backthepack Member Posts: 19,937
    edited June 2019
    whlinder said:

    Those are Swaye’s people now.

    And if Mrs Swaye has a wedding website then the competitive momming on FB isn’t far behind

    Find the actual wedding thanks and pull up wedding crashers style.
  • backthepack
    backthepack Member Posts: 19,937
    I’m going to be in DC the 9th through 18th lol
  • backthepack
    backthepack Member Posts: 19,937
    guntlove said:

    Jesus.... this thread is an all-timer. Page after page of top quality shit.

    Mazel tov, @Swaye.... you're a really good dude, and this shithole is a happier and funnier place for having you around. I hope you don't disappear.

    God speed,
    gunt

    Fucking this
  • TurdBomber
    TurdBomber Member Posts: 20,035 Standard Supporter

    Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:

    Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.

    Classics Board. Immediately. Fucking Bullseye.
  • TurdBomber
    TurdBomber Member Posts: 20,035 Standard Supporter
    Swaye said:

    Fuck marriage sounds horrible.

    Pretty sure we had a fight six months ago and this was the exact quote:



    Really looking forward to the next 30 years together. She will probably shoot me.
    Houhusky said:

    I’m Surprised more of you idiots haven’t figured out that you can counter the women bullshit Facebook competitiveness with other things in the opposite direction.

    As someone who is a fuckup at everything except fixing things around the house or cooking a steak I look like a fucking god compared to a lot of the degenerative fuckstick stories that get posted here. My wife has a username here just because I sent her enough links with a bunch of your stories/comments.

    Makes me look not too bad in comparison.

    Got caught flirting with her friend? well at least I didn’t have her friend on the sink at a friends house

    Talk like an idiot about politics? At least I don’t sound like Hondo or Freeme

    Get drunk and throw up in the Uber after a wedding party and got the car towed after leaving it illegally parked in front of a police station? Hey at least I didn’t drive our car 100 mph into a tree.

    Same goes for TV, flip on something like 90 day fiancé or whatever trailer trash show on TLC is on and suddenly you are competent in comparison.

    Humans only measure things relatively, don’t try and raise yourself up, just lower the perception of the bar.

    Far easier.

    Houhusky said:

    I’m Surprised more of you idiots haven’t figured out that you can counter the women bullshit Facebook competitiveness with other things in the opposite direction.

    As someone who is a fuckup at everything except fixing things around the house or cooking a steak I look like a fucking god compared to a lot of the degenerative fuckstick stories that get posted here. My wife has a username here just because I sent her enough links with a bunch of your stories/comments.

    Makes me look not too bad in comparison.

    Got caught flirting with her friend? well at least I didn’t have her friend on the sink at a friends house

    Talk like an idiot about politics? At least I don’t sound like Hondo or Freeme

    Get drunk and throw up in the Uber after a wedding party and got the car towed after leaving it illegally parked in front of a police station? Hey at least I didn’t drive our car 100 mph into a tree.

    Same goes for TV, flip on something like 90 day fiancé or whatever trailer trash show on TLC is on and suddenly you are competent in comparison.

    Humans only measure things relatively, don’t try and raise yourself up, just lower the perception of the bar.

    Far easier.

    Wiser words have never been spoken on this bored.
    Not even Such Fag, J? Beg to differ.
  • USMChawk
    USMChawk Member Posts: 1,800
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Already been PMed and NO, none of you are invited to the wedding. Jesus. As if shit wasn't bad enough, imagine my new in-laws joy at getting to meet @CuntWaffle , @PurpleThrobber and @Rapeculturedawg .

    So in other words, you'll be hiding the Hardcore Husky part of your identity from your wife? I've seen a lot of romantic comedies, so I know how this is gonna play out.
    So, football, me and CLS have a rather rocky history. I direct you to this thread from 18 months ago...

    https://hardcorehusky.com/discussion/44133/apple-cup-adventure-aka-fuck-thanksgiving-my-life-sucks/p1

    I think, after that debacle, it is probably best to keep the football and gambling side of my life private, unless I am stupid and like the idea of alimony. Hard to pay up on 12 bucks per hour at Orkin. This event from the past is one of the ones we disagree on whether or not it was really "cheating." I contend it was just accidental tit sucking while completely obliterated. She sees it differently. All the times I fucked sink girl we were officially broken up, so I am in the clear there. Good to go. I do not however think CLS wants to go to any major football games with me anytime soon.
    That thread is the reason I quit lurking and joined the bored. Fuck, I guess it’s time PM @IrishDawg22.
  • Swaye
    Swaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,739 Founders Club
    dnc said:

    Swaye said:

    guntlove said:

    Jesus.... this thread is an all-timer. Page after page of top quality shit.

    Mazel tov, @Swaye.... you're a really good dude, and this shithole is a happier and funnier place for having you around. I hope you don't disappear.

    God speed,
    gunt

    Thanks dude. Shit man, I'm not going anywhere. I told her straight up, I'll give up the drugs and hookers, and tone down the alcoholism for you, but never come between a man and his Jeep, deer hunting, and football addiction. Made her sign a contract. Those three things were all that was there. Her contract for me (think they call it a prenup?) was 12 pages long and required witnesses and a lawyer (you really fucked me there @creepycoug ). I did mine on a napkin and had Clem at the bar notarize it.
    Congratulations to @Doogles for the upcoming additions to his watch collection!
    Yeah, that was a pretty glaring oversight. I am sure I will lose those in the chinevitable divorce. Maybe I should just sell to Doogles now and bury the money in the back yard.