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Update on Snow Storm
Swaye
Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,741 
We have lost contact with our storm chasing reporter @YellowSnow but recent on scene reports from an illegally owned police scanner indicate he has chained himself to the Slurpee machine and has taken the Slim Jims hostage as the great blizzard of 2019 rages throughout King County. PTSD, arising from an event several years ago when Yella tried to play rowboat on a frozen river and fell in is being blamed.
In a bit of journalistic teamwork, the Woodinville Weekly has dispatched it's intrepid hero @DerekJohnson to the scene to try to talk him down and save what's left of the Twinkie and Beef Jerky aisle. Help is on it's way.
<<<<UPDATE>>>>
Help is no longer on its way.
The good news is Derek is fine. A group of ANTIFA protestors led by @RaceBannon who were out to demand that the snow pay 70% of the cleanup costs were not so lucky.
If anyone can make it to the Aurora 7-11 and save Yella it would mean a great deal to freakishly tall people all over the world. I'd do it myself, but I have better things to do.
<<<<UPDATE>>>>
Derek will not give up and our latest reports have him still making his way to the 7-11 in a valiant attempt to sacrifice his own toes for the good of the Ding Dongs.
Godspeed Stalin.
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No Slim Jims yesterday but did have some Helmpler’s pepperoni sticks. Hemplers is from Jack Lockner cuntry up in Ferndale. Ran out of bourbon due to the storm and was drinking rum, bitters and pineapple juice dreaming of warmer beaches to walk for perspective. Getting low on milk for little piss #2 so will have to brave the storm to get down to the 7-11 off Roosevelt north of the U District.
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So heroic!YellowSnow said:No Slim Jims yesterday but did have some Helmpler’s pepperoni sticks. Hemplers is from Jack Lockner cuntry up in Ferndale. Ran out of bourbon due to the storm and was drinking rum, bitters and pineapple juice dreaming of warmer beaches to walk for perspective. Getting low on milk for little piss #2 so will have to brave the storm to get down to the 7-11 off Roosevelt north of the U District.
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The snow is so deep the dog won’t poop in the backyard.
Stay tuned... -
We just got the little fruity poodle to pinch one off.BennyBeaver said:The snow is so deep the dog won’t poop in the backyard.
Stay tuned... -
Some dogs just won't poop. They just won't.BennyBeaver said:The snow is so deep the dog won’t poop in the backyard.
Stay tuned... -
The stoked bros are opening one hour later today due to snowmageddon.YellowSnow said:
We just got the little fruity poodle to pinch one off.BennyBeaver said:The snow is so deep the dog won’t poop in the backyard.
Stay tuned... -
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How many inches y’all got?
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In honor of @swaye's heroic work during these tragic snow-related events, I'm changing my profile pic to honor our noble red savage.
