Swaye, sometimes you make me feel jealous about how much of a badass you are compared to me. If some fat fuck ran into my pregnant wife like that, I'd probably say "hey no worries, that's not your fault. It's my fault for getting her pregnant and making her belly so huge. I'll try to be more careful in the future. Hope you're okay."
The day my youngest figured her shit out, teehee, I was the happiest i'd been since before getting married. When you space your kids out so that you basically change diapers for almost six straight years without a break it can wear a man down. When my daughters have kids, assuming they want them, I will politely decline the privilege of changing any of their diapers. If you doo doo the crime, you doo doo the time, teehee, and I've done mine. PooPooPeePee
People are really fat. I’ve never seen such fat people before until after going to kid baseball games in rural NC. Epically fat. So fat that their little kids are feral, sun burned, and fat. How could you parent when you’re that fat? I suck as a parent and I’m somewhat in shape. I feel you hermano Rojo. My Grandma would still accuse you of stealing shit though.
People are really fat. I’ve never seen such fat people before until after going to kid baseball games in rural NC. Epically fat. So fat that their little kids are feral, sun burned, and fat. How could you parent when you’re that fat? I suck as a parent and I’m somewhat in shape. I feel you hermano Rojo. My Grandma would still accuse you of stealing shit though.
I’m still in leesburg and getting divorced. CLS have any friends? I know the custard/ice cream joint you were at...at least they weren’t fucking Loudoun cops...hate those fuckers.
I’m still in leesburg and getting divorced. CLS have any friends? I know the custard/ice cream joint you were at...at least they weren’t fucking Loudoun cops...hate those fuckers.
Honest question, do women deliberately chinstigate this shit, or is this merely the continuation of thousands of years of tribal(lulz) conflict?
All I know is if you sass a fat white trash bitch she is going to go full nuclear mode. But CLS got yappy right away too. I am sitting there thinking "fucking great, she's pregnant, talking shit, and now I have to sort this shit." Goddamnit. @Doog_de_Jour would have jumped on the bitch so we could have had a tag team thing going. I have no doubt.
You’re goddamn right I would’ve had your, your wife, and unborn Swaye Jr.’s backs.
Welcome to the afterlife Redman. You thought you were in for eternal feasts and 70 virgins with child bearing hips. Instead, fights with red devils over $0.70 shitty ice cream and blue balls for your efforts. @HillsboroDuck gave you a warning from the spirit world. You only have yourself to blame.
Honest question, do women deliberately chinstigate this shit, or is this merely the continuation of thousands of years of tribal(lulz) conflict?
I’ve been in a couple of situations where it looked like we were going to throw down and my wife has been at my shoulder yapping it up. I’ve told her to back the fuck off because if/when something happens I really don’t want to have to think about her safety too.
I’m still in leesburg and getting divorced. CLS have any friends? I know the custard/ice cream joint you were at...at least they weren’t fucking Loudoun cops...hate those fuckers.
Loudon county can diaff
Loudoun is the shit.
Ok that’s a lie, the cops are assholes and there are large swaths of it that has FBA. But everywhere has some degree of FBA and I will take the mild case of Loudoun over most other FBAs.
What part of northern Virginia do you I've in? I lived in the Middleburg/Marshall area for a year farming and building horse fences with the South American mafia for a year (I'm poor and knew too many ways to get drugs in Everett so I left town!). I was the white devil, English speaking face of their operation. They also had some great drugs, which is why I left VA and came home and DID SOMETHING about my problems. I thought it was a decent place to live, being white, during the fall and spring but was unbearable the rest of the year. Anywho, CSB.
This boreds NoVA contingent is Skrong with @Swaye in the country, @vadawg and I in the burbs and packthefudge having spent several years in the area. I don’t think he ever detailed where so I am assuming PG County until he does.
...and it wasn't the good kind of handcuffed with a slut. It was the bad kind of handcuffed with a cop. He was sort of cute though?
Everyone was making noise about how I didn't vote in the circle jerk contest last night. Well, let me tell you why, and also amplify the message about how much I still hate white people.
CLS is pregnant, for those imbeciles among you who didn't know that. Welp, turns out pregnant women like ice cream and pickles and all kinds of weird shit. So, about 7PM last night she hits me up for an ice cream run to the local Carousel Ice Cream lard commerce establishment. I of course countered with "fine, but I am going to need a blowjob for this." She consented. VICTORY!
So, away we go to the land of creamy fat and delicious sprinkles.
Park, and notice a line of about 20+ fat assed rednecks already there. It's okay I figure, I am wearing a SIG P365 in the small of my back and am very adept at outmaneuvering fat Wal Mart shopper types. Saunter up to the line and claim our spot. Wait for the unwashed white devil horde of EBT card wielding trash to amble up and order their belt busters. Losers.
Finally we get to the front. CLS begins to order and the fat ass bitch who had been directly in front of us twirls (this is being generous) around quickly to cut CLS off and dive back toward the order window. Must have forgot to tell them three scoops I guess. Bitch. In her haste, and because she is as nimble as a hog, she runs all up into CLS. CLS, being quite pregnant and hating white trash almost as much as me, says "excuse you." I love saying "excuse you" to people, especially fat white ones. Anyway, the spandex beast cuts her eyes at her and then shoves her in the shoulder and starts screaming obscenities in our general direction about 6 inches from CLS's face.
My first thought is "I'm never getting that fucking blowjob now." Then my cat like Tonto reflexes spring into action.
At this point I figure it is time to quickly take stock of the situation - counter girls eyes are wide with fear, CLS is clenching her fists, spandex space cow is starting to froth, and the bovine's husband/boyfriend loser thing in the camouflage wife beater is trying to slow down the momentum of his fat to get turned around and DO SOMETHING.
I quickly shoulder in between CLS and Mad Cow and the fat redneck tries to grab my left arm as I assume he thinks I am assaulting Mad Cow but I am earnestly just trying to keep this mass of fat shit off my wife. I do not like it when people who do not have nice titties touch me. I also am trying to diffuse this because I am carrying a concealed weapon. Competing priorities suck. Mad Cow is still howling some form of white devil fat jowl gibberish as I wrench my arm away from her 250 pound lover boy. He loses his balance a touch and CLS is pushing against my back now yelling at Mad Cow. It's a lot to process.
He tries to reach up and grab my shirt and at this point I have had enough so I pop him in the throat. Just a quick little jab, and more to get him to step back and create some distance than anything else. Well, he moves backwards from the shock and surprise of getting throat punched and promptly falls off the wooden steps and spends what seems like the next 20 seconds careening into a pile of warbling redneck shit in the parking lot. I don't even think the punch hurt him that bad because I didn't catch him flush, but the 20 second fat guy fall onto the asphalt did. Shitbag landed with a big thud and a loud incoherent groan. Mad Cow was going absolutely bat shit and just mouthing stuff in guttural squawks by this point. All taken together it sounded like a wildebeast giving birth to a wolverine. CLS is saying something but over the adrenaline it just sounds like rushing water. Over all this den I can hear police sirens and some redneck in the crowd screaming "kick his ass." Real winners here in semi-rural Northern Virginia.
Fat ass on the dirt is strugglefucking around trying to stand up, or sit up, or just do something, and Mad Cow finally charges. I have the presence of mind to not hit something that once resembled a woman, so I just shoulder check her, hard. She goes spinning out rapidly and catches one of her large hips on a wooden post and turns a complete 180. At this point I can see the first cop car screaming down the road and all the fight had gone out of Mad Cow because I think she realized she was not nimble enough to do anything and the cops would see it anyway. Fat boy has almost gotten up by this point but his pants have torn the top button off and half his ass crack is showing. Though finally up, he is making no moves because I guess he figured though old I would still throw fists and by falling down like a sack of whale shit and then struggling to get up for a solid minute meant he had lost anyway. He was clutching his throat though. Another redman victory.
Cops are piling out of two cars and I just put my hands up. Cops came up and cuffed me immediately. I politely told them I had a gun on while CLS screamed bloody murder that the fatasses had started it all. They took my gun and escorted me directly to the cruiser. Fucking racist white pigs.
Took about half an hour of me sitting in the cruiser to sort it all out but the girls who work at Carousel said that the EBT mafia had started it, and shoved CLS first (helped that she is cute, lily white, wears expensive clothes, and pregnant whereas Mad Cow looked the menstruating end of a hippo). They also noted that fat boy laid hands on me first as well. So, they asked CLS and me if we wanted to press charges, we declined, and everyone got off with warnings.
That was my shit night. Victory over whitey, got my gun back, think I threw my back out redirecting that planet sized bitch away from me, and never got the goddamn blowjob which was the only reason I ever went in the first place.
If it ever winds up in court, just cut n paste this for your deposition.
I’m still in leesburg and getting divorced. CLS have any friends? I know the custard/ice cream joint you were at...at least they weren’t fucking Loudoun cops...hate those fuckers.
...and it wasn't the good kind of handcuffed with a slut. It was the bad kind of handcuffed with a cop. He was sort of cute though?
Everyone was making noise about how I didn't vote in the circle jerk contest last night. Well, let me tell you why, and also amplify the message about how much I still hate white people.
CLS is pregnant, for those imbeciles among you who didn't know that. Welp, turns out pregnant women like ice cream and pickles and all kinds of weird shit. So, about 7PM last night she hits me up for an ice cream run to the local Carousel Ice Cream lard commerce establishment. I of course countered with "fine, but I am going to need a blowjob for this." She consented. VICTORY!
So, away we go to the land of creamy fat and delicious sprinkles.
Park, and notice a line of about 20+ fat assed rednecks already there. It's okay I figure, I am wearing a SIG P365 in the small of my back and am very adept at outmaneuvering fat Wal Mart shopper types. Saunter up to the line and claim our spot. Wait for the unwashed white devil horde of EBT card wielding trash to amble up and order their belt busters. Losers.
Finally we get to the front. CLS begins to order and the fat ass bitch who had been directly in front of us twirls (this is being generous) around quickly to cut CLS off and dive back toward the order window. Must have forgot to tell them three scoops I guess. Bitch. In her haste, and because she is as nimble as a hog, she runs all up into CLS. CLS, being quite pregnant and hating white trash almost as much as me, says "excuse you." I love saying "excuse you" to people, especially fat white ones. Anyway, the spandex beast cuts her eyes at her and then shoves her in the shoulder and starts screaming obscenities in our general direction about 6 inches from CLS's face.
My first thought is "I'm never getting that fucking blowjob now." Then my cat like Tonto reflexes spring into action.
At this point I figure it is time to quickly take stock of the situation - counter girls eyes are wide with fear, CLS is clenching her fists, spandex space cow is starting to froth, and the bovine's husband/boyfriend loser thing in the camouflage wife beater is trying to slow down the momentum of his fat to get turned around and DO SOMETHING.
I quickly shoulder in between CLS and Mad Cow and the fat redneck tries to grab my left arm as I assume he thinks I am assaulting Mad Cow but I am earnestly just trying to keep this mass of fat shit off my wife. I do not like it when people who do not have nice titties touch me. I also am trying to diffuse this because I am carrying a concealed weapon. Competing priorities suck. Mad Cow is still howling some form of white devil fat jowl gibberish as I wrench my arm away from her 250 pound lover boy. He loses his balance a touch and CLS is pushing against my back now yelling at Mad Cow. It's a lot to process.
He tries to reach up and grab my shirt and at this point I have had enough so I pop him in the throat. Just a quick little jab, and more to get him to step back and create some distance than anything else. Well, he moves backwards from the shock and surprise of getting throat punched and promptly falls off the wooden steps and spends what seems like the next 20 seconds careening into a pile of warbling redneck shit in the parking lot. I don't even think the punch hurt him that bad because I didn't catch him flush, but the 20 second fat guy fall onto the asphalt did. Shitbag landed with a big thud and a loud incoherent groan. Mad Cow was going absolutely bat shit and just mouthing stuff in guttural squawks by this point. All taken together it sounded like a wildebeast giving birth to a wolverine. CLS is saying something but over the adrenaline it just sounds like rushing water. Over all this den I can hear police sirens and some redneck in the crowd screaming "kick his ass." Real winners here in semi-rural Northern Virginia.
Fat ass on the dirt is strugglefucking around trying to stand up, or sit up, or just do something, and Mad Cow finally charges. I have the presence of mind to not hit something that once resembled a woman, so I just shoulder check her, hard. She goes spinning out rapidly and catches one of her large hips on a wooden post and turns a complete 180. At this point I can see the first cop car screaming down the road and all the fight had gone out of Mad Cow because I think she realized she was not nimble enough to do anything and the cops would see it anyway. Fat boy has almost gotten up by this point but his pants have torn the top button off and half his ass crack is showing. Though finally up, he is making no moves because I guess he figured though old I would still throw fists and by falling down like a sack of whale shit and then struggling to get up for a solid minute meant he had lost anyway. He was clutching his throat though. Another redman victory.
Cops are piling out of two cars and I just put my hands up. Cops came up and cuffed me immediately. I politely told them I had a gun on while CLS screamed bloody murder that the fatasses had started it all. They took my gun and escorted me directly to the cruiser. Fucking racist white pigs.
Took about half an hour of me sitting in the cruiser to sort it all out but the girls who work at Carousel said that the EBT mafia had started it, and shoved CLS first (helped that she is cute, lily white, wears expensive clothes, and pregnant whereas Mad Cow looked the menstruating end of a hippo). They also noted that fat boy laid hands on me first as well. So, they asked CLS and me if we wanted to press charges, we declined, and everyone got off with warnings.
That was my shit night. Victory over whitey, got my gun back, think I threw my back out redirecting that planet sized bitch away from me, and never got the goddamn blowjob which was the only reason I ever went in the first place.
If it ever winds up in court, just cut n paste this for your deposition.
“Let it be stipulated that poster CuntWaffle makes some good points.” “So noted. Continue.”
What part of northern Virginia do you I've in? I lived in the Middleburg/Marshall area for a year farming and building horse fences with the South American mafia for a year (I'm poor and knew too many ways to get drugs in Everett so I left town!). I was the white devil, English speaking face of their operation. They also had some great drugs, which is why I left VA and came home and DID SOMETHING about my problems. I thought it was a decent place to live, being white, during the fall and spring but was unbearable the rest of the year. Anywho, CSB.
This boreds NoVA contingent is Skrong with @Swaye in the country, @vadawg and I in the burbs and packthefudge having spent several years in the area. I don’t think he ever detailed where so I am assuming PG County until he does.
I’m still in leesburg and getting divorced. CLS have any friends? I know the custard/ice cream joint you were at...at least they weren’t fucking Loudoun cops...hate those fuckers.
Loudon county can diaff
Loudoun is the shit.
Ok that’s a lie, the cops are assholes and there are large swaths of it that has FBA. But everywhere has some degree of FBA and I will take the mild case of Loudoun over most other FBAs.
WTF is FBA?
Fuck Loudoun. I can't wait for my daughters to graduate so I can get the fuck out of here. Reminds me of Orange County 30 years ago...without the beach.
Comments
I put my first diaper on backwards. I’ve since changed 81.3 million diapers.
I know the custard/ice cream joint you were at...at least they weren’t fucking Loudoun cops...hate those fuckers.
Yes we do.
Ok that’s a lie, the cops are assholes and there are large swaths of it that has FBA. But everywhere has some degree of FBA and I will take the mild case of Loudoun over most other FBAs.
“So noted. Continue.”
Fuck Loudoun. I can't wait for my daughters to graduate so I can get the fuck out of here. Reminds me of Orange County 30 years ago...without the beach.