im sort of resorting to a hanlons "never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity" and calming my nerdrage and going away. i'll be in the corner furiously masturbating about the final 2 books that will never release. kill me.
Or you could do what I'm doing, rereading the Dune books, another unfinished masterpeace
DUNE is all time great sci-fi, but I stopped after the first one. I heard the sequels weren't that good though. You recommend reading them?
I loved them when I read them. I was also 13? when I did though. Definitely some slow development in some of the books to power through but overall I remember them kindly. Might be time to reread them as well.
Hey let's burn them up with dragons. Wait we have 80 minutes to fill with darkness and shadows fighting each other. Pull back the dragons for no reason. Let's go to Bronn. Well that sucks
DUNE is all time great sci-fi, but I stopped after the first one. I heard the sequels weren't that good though. You recommend reading them?
Yes. Messiah isn't that great, since it's about Paul losing his nerve and failing to fulfill the vision. Children is better, as Leto picks up where Paul failed. God Emperor was my least favorite as a teenager, but I find that I'm really enjoying it as an old fuck. Heretics was my favorite after the original; the Bashar Teg is one of my favorite characters in the series. Chapter House was good as I recall but it's been a long time since I've read it. The several pulp volumes written many years after Herbert's death, supposedly after his general outline of the Big Picture was found in a safe deposit box, are all shit. Read the wiki pages on them if you want to know what Herbert's plan was for the whole story, but don't waste your time slogging through the dreck books that lesser men penned.
Hey let's burn them up with dragons. Wait we have 80 minutes to fill with darkness and shadows fighting each other. Pull back the dragons for no reason. Let's go to Bronn. Well that sucks
Let's kill Theon. He's a good guy.
60 minutes of unintelligible battle should do it.
Did we win? I couldn't tell.
Less concise than my version, but at least you know people's names. 10/10 review. I chinned.
I really wanted the Night King to kneel to Bran at the end. Overall I liked the episode even though as others have pointed out the ending was just prototypical super hero bs.
Should be chintersting to see how Dany, Jon, two dragons, and about 100 survivors try to defeat Cersei, the Golden Company, and the Iron Fleet, who look pretty tan ready and rested. Hopefully there are one or two more major twists to come.
Tyrion or Jamie will strangle Cersei (it's prophecy)
CleganeBowl is still in play.
Arya is a fucking super hero so she's got superhero skillz. Able to be in library full of wights undetected. Years of assassin training so of course she can go undetected until the last second.
I had no problem with Arya running around murdering fools, but when fat Sam is basically attempting to body surf zombies for ten minutes straight eventually he has to die, right?
Also in regards to the prophecy the red women told Arya she would kill people with Brown (Walder Frey), Blue (Night King), and Green eyes (Cersei?), so look for her to sneak in with Jamie or Tyrion’s face after Bronn crossbows them and merc Cersei.
I'm so fucking pissed my ride or die bitch Lyanna died. But at least she went out like a boss.
I didn't hate the episode like everyone else. Probably because I only saw approximately 45 seconds of it. The other hour and a 20 minutes was just flashes of light and screaming. Heard dragons a couple times. Bet they were doing something cool.
I thought the ending with Arya was actually bad ass and unexpected. To me anyway. I am a well known dumbass though. Mostly I was just happy I could see it.
I'll give anything for Arya to kill Cersei. Also, I hate Dany even more now. She sucks.
Not into fantasy, but watched this shit with my wife last night. It was bad. Season Two of Westworld bad.
I feel like throwing a flashlight, ten pairs of socks, a Halloween mask, and four dildos in my clothes dryer, turning it on, filming it through the window, cutting that video together in Premiere so that no shot lasts longer than three tenths of a second, and seeing if anybody can tell it apart from any battle scene from this episode. This new Jason Bourne filming technique of "we're too lazy/poor/bad to make this look good, so cut so quickly that nobody can tell" has got to go.
Furthermore, even the 45 seconds of the episode when you could tell what was going on was a total fucking mess. I want to see a Plinkett review of this episode soooo badly! Okay, so let me get this straight:
1.) The Knight King has a boner for younger/better looking Pumpy, so you're going to use him as a lure. Best place to put him? Right in the middle of the castle where all of your important people are hiding. Not, like, out in a field somewhere to lure the army away.
2.) You've got these two dragons that have some magical inexhaustible supply of flaming burp gas or something, and they can kill a hundred zombies in two seconds. Got it. Well let's send hundreds of men in to die and become part of the opposing force before hitting the enemy army with said dragons.
3.) While we're at it, since fire kills these things, the castle is the last stronghold, and we've got these giant sources of inexhaustible fire, let's put thousands of fighters outside the castle, let most of them die, let the rest run back into the castle, then defend the castle. Meanwhile, the dragons fly around outside getting lost and stuff. I mean, packing all your fighters into the castle that you have, using those walls as a barrier, parking a dragon on top of said walls on each side, and having them melt anything that comes close would be too simple.
4.) This is an army of the undead. Safest place to hide? The crypt. What could possibly go wrong?
The retardation doesn't end with the good guys. The Knight King? Why did he wait to raise the dead in the crypt? He obviously knew they were down there. Why not just rock up to a quarter mile from the castle, raise the dead downstairs, wait for them to murder their way through the castle and open the fucking doors, then crush the army outside and walk in like a boss?
If I had a chin for every time I told my wife, "That's just fucking stupid!" I'd dominate Doog-bot's rankings when they come out in 2023. The witch lighting the trench on fire? Laaaame. The guys on horses charging an undead army they can't see? Stuuuuupid. The dragon queen lady just sitting there on the ground with her dragon for like five minutes for no reason, knowing that the place was swarming with zombies? Just totally fucking contrived. The guy who came to the dragon queen lady's rescue doing so because he hears a dragon scream and just assumes that she must be in trouble, never mind the fact that it sounded exactly like a thousand other dragon screams that happened throughout the episode? Come on. The constantly repeated Bruce Lee fight scenes, where a main character is surrounded by a billion zombies, but the zombies come at them one at a time in a stream of endless fodder? Fucking stupid. The same half-second scene of guys protecting Pumpy shooting flaming arrows at zombies as they are overrun, only to be revisited a minute later to see them--once again--shooting flaming arrows at zombies as they are overrun? Ugh. Main character either in my dryer full of flashlights and dildos or in a battle with zombies (who can tell?), either good guys or zombies being split open left and right (who can tell?), main character seemingly overrun by a mass of undead humanity and outnumbered fifty to one, somehow said main character still alive and fighting other waves of zombies next time it cuts back to them? Even though quite literally EVERYBODY around them has been massacred? Suck a dick, HBO.
Brief summary: The writers seemed to have a Point B that they wanted to get to from Point A. The journey between is one that makes no sense at any point and during which every single incident in the episode that helped them get there (dragon sitting on the ground for eternity so that it can be enveloped by zombies and drop white haired gal on the ground, main character appearing in a tree above the White King inexplicably, etc.) is poorly developed, ridiculously implausible, or comic book movie nonsensical. Not a single thing happened in that episode that made any sense or followed logically from the setup. This was the 2016 playoff semifinal of big budget television episodes.
this is a lot of verbiage for someone not into fantasy
Yeah, it was bad. Again, I liked the episode from a theoretical perspective, but the darkness was just terrible.
More random thoughts;
So did the second non zombie dragon survive? I don't recall seeing him after he crashed with what I assume was Jon but couldn't tell.
Who died in the crypts? Outside of seeing Tyrion and Sansa share a moment behind a crypt, I couldn't see shit.
Melissandre not showing those magic titties again before offing herself was bullshit.
Watching the Dothraki charge and get annihilated was awesome. Really gave some gravity to the entire battle to follow. Too bad the battle to follow was so dark I couldn't see any of it.
I have been annoyed with Bran for about 5 years now. He reached peak suck last episode. And what the fuck is the deal with him? What is trying to do? What does the 3 eyed raven try to do? What is the point of this entire 8 year story arc?
The Bran shit above is why I liked Arya killing the NK. It gave meaning to her entire arc. The years of assassin training, and all her journey, to get to that point of ultimate bad assery. I feel like we never got that kind of pay off with the NK or Bran (so far). Was all that shit I watched with Bran all those years just so he could set up the "Jon Snow is really the rightful King?" Sure, that's a big deal, but fuck.
Also, nobody died. I mean fuck outside of Lyanna everyone who died sucked anyway. It was shit for realism as well. I mean thousands are slaughtered but at the very end Tarth bitch, Jamie and Sam are all backs against the wall but have survived? The only three out there still living? Bullshit. Contrived. Fuck off. Theon and Jorah was the best you could do? I wanted them to pick one of Sansa, Arya, Jon, Dany, Jamie and Tyrion and kill them. True main characters. Hell, they should have killed two of them to make it real. That was weak.
Okay, enough bitching. Who the fuck is left to fight Cersei? Sure, all the main characters and......um, welp, um, like 200 more people? Also, the Nights Watch is completely annihilated. Done. Wrecked. Then again everything north of the wall is dead as well, so fuck it, I guess. Warden of the North, or the King in the North...it doesn't fucking matter because there are only like 1000 people left total in the North. Probably less, and most of them are women and children. Look at House Umber- all dead. House Mormont? All dead. Piles of other northern houses? All dead. Wildlings? Mostly dead. It's a shitshow up north and there is nobody left to fight Cersei. That cunt.
Arya better do some serious assassin shit, and I am all in on the Cleganbowl!
Comments
frustration all over again
Hey let's burn them up with dragons. Wait we have 80 minutes to fill with darkness and shadows fighting each other. Pull back the dragons for no reason. Let's go to Bronn. Well that sucks
Let's kill Theon. He's a good guy.
60 minutes of unintelligible battle should do it.
Did we win? I couldn't tell.
Lost interest during the 3rd don't remember the 2nd
I've read pretty much every fantasy series
I didn't hate the episode like everyone else. Probably because I only saw approximately 45 seconds of it. The other hour and a 20 minutes was just flashes of light and screaming. Heard dragons a couple times. Bet they were doing something cool.
I thought the ending with Arya was actually bad ass and unexpected. To me anyway. I am a well known dumbass though. Mostly I was just happy I could see it.
I'll give anything for Arya to kill Cersei. Also, I hate Dany even more now. She sucks.
https://imgur.com/a/w6mzYyE
dang
I would say great minds think alike, but you're not a great mind. So, I'm not sure what to say.
More random thoughts;
So did the second non zombie dragon survive? I don't recall seeing him after he crashed with what I assume was Jon but couldn't tell.
Who died in the crypts? Outside of seeing Tyrion and Sansa share a moment behind a crypt, I couldn't see shit.
Melissandre not showing those magic titties again before offing herself was bullshit.
Watching the Dothraki charge and get annihilated was awesome. Really gave some gravity to the entire battle to follow. Too bad the battle to follow was so dark I couldn't see any of it.
I have been annoyed with Bran for about 5 years now. He reached peak suck last episode. And what the fuck is the deal with him? What is trying to do? What does the 3 eyed raven try to do? What is the point of this entire 8 year story arc?
The Bran shit above is why I liked Arya killing the NK. It gave meaning to her entire arc. The years of assassin training, and all her journey, to get to that point of ultimate bad assery. I feel like we never got that kind of pay off with the NK or Bran (so far). Was all that shit I watched with Bran all those years just so he could set up the "Jon Snow is really the rightful King?" Sure, that's a big deal, but fuck.
Also, nobody died. I mean fuck outside of Lyanna everyone who died sucked anyway. It was shit for realism as well. I mean thousands are slaughtered but at the very end Tarth bitch, Jamie and Sam are all backs against the wall but have survived? The only three out there still living? Bullshit. Contrived. Fuck off. Theon and Jorah was the best you could do? I wanted them to pick one of Sansa, Arya, Jon, Dany, Jamie and Tyrion and kill them. True main characters. Hell, they should have killed two of them to make it real. That was weak.
Okay, enough bitching. Who the fuck is left to fight Cersei? Sure, all the main characters and......um, welp, um, like 200 more people? Also, the Nights Watch is completely annihilated. Done. Wrecked. Then again everything north of the wall is dead as well, so fuck it, I guess. Warden of the North, or the King in the North...it doesn't fucking matter because there are only like 1000 people left total in the North. Probably less, and most of them are women and children. Look at House Umber- all dead. House Mormont? All dead. Piles of other northern houses? All dead. Wildlings? Mostly dead. It's a shitshow up north and there is nobody left to fight Cersei. That cunt.
Arya better do some serious assassin shit, and I am all in on the Cleganbowl!