Spectacle: incredible. Dothraki charge of the light brigade lol.
Super disappointed with the resolution. What the fuck is Bran’s story? What are the NKs motivations? Azor Ahai? Anything?
Arya is an anime character at this point.
There's still time for Bran to tell us more about the Night King/show us flashbacks. But if that doesn't happen it will be very disappointing, we need more from Bran.
And wtf was with Jon Snow just standing up to accept death vs Viserion? You do jack shit the whole battle and the Night King is about to kill Bran and you’re just like whelp, I can’t make it, might as well stand up and die.
Just fuck.
I expected at least half of the supporting cast to die and one of the big hitters to die.
The show runners thought Jorah and Theon were the big hitters.
Yeah, I really expected a higher body count.
The show runners made the show predictable and boring, which to this point it had never been.
what's so mysterious about the WF crypts and why do characters often dream of them? dunno
why must there always be a stark in winterfell? dunno
why was Bran doing nothing other than being a literal raven, i guess? what's the point of this massive, 8 season long story arc? dunno
why was the VERY FIRST SCENE in the show about white walkers when they weren't the final enemy? dunno
is there any reason that the NK does what he does other than that he wants to kill Bran? dunno
nerdrage++
They stopped thinking like a book and started thinking like a big tv show. They lost the complexity that made the show so good and became about simple food vs evil and heroes.
Rob Stark died because he married the wrong chick.
But the heroes survived the insurmountable odds despite being surrounded 20 to 1 and exhausted. Just long enough for Arya to run for 15 minutes silently through Winterfell full of Wights and past the white walkers who had no idea she was there.
I first started becoming concerned with how the show runners would end this when all the sudden season 7 discovered fast travel mode. Characters getting from Winterfell to Dragonstone to Casterly Rock to Beyond the Wall to King’s Landing like time was not a factor.
All this despite the fact that it takes a year to travel the King’s Road from King’s Landing to Winterfell.
Not into fantasy, but watched this shit with my wife last night. It was bad. Season Two of Westworld bad.
I feel like throwing a flashlight, ten pairs of socks, a Halloween mask, and four dildos in my clothes dryer, turning it on, filming it through the window, cutting that video together in Premiere so that no shot lasts longer than three tenths of a second, and seeing if anybody can tell it apart from any battle scene from this episode. This new Jason Bourne filming technique of "we're too lazy/poor/bad to make this look good, so cut so quickly that nobody can tell" has got to go.
Furthermore, even the 45 seconds of the episode when you could tell what was going on was a total fucking mess. I want to see a Plinkett review of this episode soooo badly! Okay, so let me get this straight:
1.) The Knight King has a boner for younger/better looking Pumpy, so you're going to use him as a lure. Best place to put him? Right in the middle of the castle where all of your important people are hiding. Not, like, out in a field somewhere to lure the army away.
2.) You've got these two dragons that have some magical inexhaustible supply of flaming burp gas or something, and they can kill a hundred zombies in two seconds. Got it. Well let's send hundreds of men in to die and become part of the opposing force before hitting the enemy army with said dragons.
3.) While we're at it, since fire kills these things, the castle is the last stronghold, and we've got these giant sources of inexhaustible fire, let's put thousands of fighters outside the castle, let most of them die, let the rest run back into the castle, then defend the castle. Meanwhile, the dragons fly around outside getting lost and stuff. I mean, packing all your fighters into the castle that you have, using those walls as a barrier, parking a dragon on top of said walls on each side, and having them melt anything that comes close would be too simple.
4.) This is an army of the undead. Safest place to hide? The crypt. What could possibly go wrong?
The retardation doesn't end with the good guys. The Knight King? Why did he wait to raise the dead in the crypt? He obviously knew they were down there. Why not just rock up to a quarter mile from the castle, raise the dead downstairs, wait for them to murder their way through the castle and open the fucking doors, then crush the army outside and walk in like a boss?
If I had a chin for every time I told my wife, "That's just fucking stupid!" I'd dominate Doog-bot's rankings when they come out in 2023. The witch lighting the trench on fire? Laaaame. The guys on horses charging an undead army they can't see? Stuuuuupid. The dragon queen lady just sitting there on the ground with her dragon for like five minutes for no reason, knowing that the place was swarming with zombies? Just totally fucking contrived. The guy who came to the dragon queen lady's rescue doing so because he hears a dragon scream and just assumes that she must be in trouble, never mind the fact that it sounded exactly like a thousand other dragon screams that happened throughout the episode? Come on. The constantly repeated Bruce Lee fight scenes, where a main character is surrounded by a billion zombies, but the zombies come at them one at a time in a stream of endless fodder? Fucking stupid. The same half-second scene of guys protecting Pumpy shooting flaming arrows at zombies as they are overrun, only to be revisited a minute later to see them--once again--shooting flaming arrows at zombies as they are overrun? Ugh. Main character either in my dryer full of flashlights and dildos or in a battle with zombies (who can tell?), either good guys or zombies being split open left and right (who can tell?), main character seemingly overrun by a mass of undead humanity and outnumbered fifty to one, somehow said main character still alive and fighting other waves of zombies next time it cuts back to them? Even though quite literally EVERYBODY around them has been massacred? Suck a dick, HBO.
Brief summary: The writers seemed to have a Point B that they wanted to get to from Point A. The journey between is one that makes no sense at any point and during which every single incident in the episode that helped them get there (dragon sitting on the ground for eternity so that it can be enveloped by zombies and drop white haired gal on the ground, main character appearing in a tree above the White King inexplicably, etc.) is poorly developed, ridiculously implausible, or comic book movie nonsensical. Not a single thing happened in that episode that made any sense or followed logically from the setup. This was the 2016 playoff semifinal of big budget television episodes.
Not hard to imagine that they saved the reveal of some of these long developed plot points for the final 3 episodes... there needs to be more than just the Winterfell survivors vs Cersei
Not into fantasy, but watched this shit with my wife last night. It was bad. Season Two of Westworld bad.
I feel like throwing a flashlight, ten pairs of socks, a Halloween mask, and four dildos in my clothes dryer, turning it on, filming it through the window, cutting that video together in Premiere so that no shot lasts longer than three tenths of a second, and seeing if anybody can tell it apart from any battle scene from this episode. This new Jason Bourne filming technique of "we're too lazy/poor/bad to make this look good, so cut so quickly that nobody can tell" has got to go.
Furthermore, even the 45 seconds of the episode when you could tell what was going on was a total fucking mess. I want to see a Plinkett review of this episode soooo badly! Okay, so let me get this straight:
1.) The Knight King has a boner for younger/better looking Pumpy, so you're going to use him as a lure. Best place to put him? Right in the middle of the castle where all of your important people are hiding. Not, like, out in a field somewhere to lure the army away.
2.) You've got these two dragons that have some magical inexhaustible supply of flaming burp gas or something, and they can kill a hundred zombies in two seconds. Got it. Well let's send hundreds of men in to die and become part of the opposing force before hitting the enemy army with said dragons.
3.) While we're at it, since fire kills these things, the castle is the last stronghold, and we've got these giant sources of inexhaustible fire, let's put thousands of fighters outside the castle, let most of them die, let the rest run back into the castle, then defend the castle. Meanwhile, the dragons fly around outside getting lost and stuff. I mean, packing all your fighters into the castle that you have, using those walls as a barrier, parking a dragon on top of said walls on each side, and having them melt anything that comes close would be too simple.
4.) This is an army of the undead. Safest place to hide? The crypt. What could possibly go wrong?
The retardation doesn't end with the good guys. The Knight King? Why did he wait to raise the dead in the crypt? He obviously knew they were down there. Why not just rock up to a quarter mile from the castle, raise the dead downstairs, wait for them to murder their way through the castle and open the fucking doors, then crush the army outside and walk in like a boss?
If I had a chin for every time I told my wife, "That's just fucking stupid!" I'd dominate Doog-bot's rankings when they come out in 2023. The witch lighting the trench on fire? Laaaame. The guys on horses charging an undead army they can't see? Stuuuuupid. The dragon queen lady just sitting there on the ground with her dragon for like five minutes for no reason, knowing that the place was swarming with zombies? Just totally fucking contrived. The guy who came to the dragon queen lady's rescue doing so because he hears a dragon scream and just assumes that she must be in trouble, never mind the fact that it sounded exactly like a thousand other dragon screams that happened throughout the episode? Come on. The constantly repeated Bruce Lee fight scenes, where a main character is surrounded by a billion zombies, but the zombies come at them one at a time in a stream of endless fodder? Fucking stupid. The same half-second scene of guys protecting Pumpy shooting flaming arrows at zombies as they are overrun, only to be revisited a minute later to see them--once again--shooting flaming arrows at zombies as they are overrun? Ugh. Main character either in my dryer full of flashlights and dildos or in a battle with zombies (who can tell?), either good guys or zombies being split open left and right (who can tell?), main character seemingly overrun by a mass of undead humanity and outnumbered fifty to one, somehow said main character still alive and fighting other waves of zombies next time it cuts back to them? Even though quite literally EVERYBODY around them has been massacred? Suck a dick, HBO.
Brief summary: The writers seemed to have a Point B that they wanted to get to from Point A. The journey between is one that makes no sense at any point and during which every single incident in the episode that helped them get there (dragon sitting on the ground for eternity so that it can be enveloped by zombies and drop white haired gal on the ground, main character appearing in a tree above the White King inexplicably, etc.) is poorly developed, ridiculously implausible, or comic book movie nonsensical. Not a single thing happened in that episode that made any sense or followed logically from the setup. This was the 2016 playoff semifinal of big budget television episodes.
I really wanted the Night King to kneel to Bran at the end. Overall I liked the episode even though as others have pointed out the ending was just prototypical super hero bs.
Should be chintersting to see how Dany, Jon, two dragons, and about 100 survivors try to defeat Cersei, the Golden Company, and the Iron Fleet, who look pretty tan ready and rested. Hopefully there are one or two more major twists to come.
Spectacle: incredible. Dothraki charge of the light brigade lol.
Super disappointed with the resolution. What the fuck is Bran’s story? What are the NKs motivations? Azor Ahai? Anything?
Arya is an anime character at this point.
I feel like the first 7 seasons meant nothing and lent nothing to this resolution.
Dothraki swords going out: chilling.
Unsullied closing the ranks so everyone could retreat and Grey Worm giving the order to cut them off: gut wrenching.
Everything after? A fucking superhero movie.
Every scene around a main character fighting against overwhelming odds inside Winterfell cut away as a horde of wights ran at them, then when we see them later they’re standing on a pile of bodies.
Jon and Dany were the most worthless warriors in the battle.
The prince that was promised who sings a song of ice and fire? I know Missandei said previously that the translation was wrong and it doesn’t mean a boy or a girl, but come on.
Honestly that was just disappointing as fuck.
Like the fucking Huskies in a NY6 bowl.
Just horrible tactics all around
Bum rush all the living, get them on the ground with mass and momentum, and eat their faces off while they're trying to stand up
Dragons disappear until the story calls for them to show up
Neither side deserved to wiin
That said, I hope Brienne and Tormund Jamie have some awesome loud sweaty victory coitus
what's so mysterious about the WF crypts and why do characters often dream of them? dunno
why must there always be a stark in winterfell? dunno
why was Bran doing nothing other than being a literal raven, i guess? what's the point of this massive, 8 season long story arc? dunno
why was the VERY FIRST SCENE in the show about white walkers when they weren't the final enemy? dunno
is there any reason that the NK does what he does other than that he wants to kill Bran? dunno
nerdrage++
I liked the series because its a fucking fantasy book series. There's backstory and hidden revelations and whatnot. Absolutely none of the things I wanted to keep reading for have anything to do with this. LOL what teh fuck
I really wanted the Night King to kneel to Bran at the end. Overall I liked the episode even though as others have pointed out the ending was just prototypical super hero bs.
Should be chintersting to see how Dany, Jon, two dragons, and about 100 survivors try to defeat Cersei, the Golden Company, and the Iron Fleet, who look pretty tan ready and rested. Hopefully there are one or two more major twists to come.
Tyrion or Jamie will strangle Cersei (it's prophecy)
CleganeBowl is still in play.
Arya is a fucking super hero so she's got superhero skillz. Able to be in library full of wights undetected. Years of assassin training so of course she can go undetected until the last second.
I really wanted the Night King to kneel to Bran at the end. Overall I liked the episode even though as others have pointed out the ending was just prototypical super hero bs.
Should be chintersting to see how Dany, Jon, two dragons, and about 100 survivors try to defeat Cersei, the Golden Company, and the Iron Fleet, who look pretty tan ready and rested. Hopefully there are one or two more major twists to come.
Tyrion or Jamie will strangle Cersei (it's prophecy)
CleganeBowl is still in play.
Arya is a fucking super hero so she's got superhero skillz. Able to be in library full of wights undetected. Years of assassin training so of course she can go undetected until the last second.
Yeah, of the things that bugged me about the episode Arya wasn't one of them. Most of her arc falls right in line with what happened.
The biggest let down is that you've built up the White Walkers for a decade, they finally make it south of the Wall, and you merc them in a manner that's really only painful for a faceless segment of "army men" from your various allies. The Boltons required more sacrifice to end it feels like.
I really wanted the Night King to kneel to Bran at the end. Overall I liked the episode even though as others have pointed out the ending was just prototypical super hero bs.
Should be chintersting to see how Dany, Jon, two dragons, and about 100 survivors try to defeat Cersei, the Golden Company, and the Iron Fleet, who look pretty tan ready and rested. Hopefully there are one or two more major twists to come.
Tyrion or Jamie will strangle Cersei (it's prophecy)
CleganeBowl is still in play.
Arya is a fucking super hero so she's got superhero skillz. Able to be in library full of wights undetected. Years of assassin training so of course she can go undetected until the last second.
I had no problem with Arya running around murdering fools, but when fat Sam is basically attempting to body surf zombies for ten minutes straight eventually he has to die, right?
Also in regards to the prophecy the red women told Arya she would kill people with Brown (Walder Frey), Blue (Night King), and Green eyes (Cersei?), so look for her to sneak in with Jamie or Tyrion’s face after Bronn crossbows them and merc Cersei.
I really wanted the Night King to kneel to Bran at the end. Overall I liked the episode even though as others have pointed out the ending was just prototypical super hero bs.
Should be chintersting to see how Dany, Jon, two dragons, and about 100 survivors try to defeat Cersei, the Golden Company, and the Iron Fleet, who look pretty tan ready and rested. Hopefully there are one or two more major twists to come.
Tyrion or Jamie will strangle Cersei (it's prophecy)
CleganeBowl is still in play.
Arya is a fucking super hero so she's got superhero skillz. Able to be in library full of wights undetected. Years of assassin training so of course she can go undetected until the last second.
I had no problem with Arya running around murdering fools, but when fat Sam is basically attempting to body surf zombies for ten minutes straight eventually he has to die, right?
Also in regards to the prophecy the red women told Arya she would kill people with Brown (Walder Frey), Blue (Night King), and Green eyes (Cersei?), so look for her to sneak in with Jamie or Tyrion’s face after Bronn crossbows them and merc Cersei.
Lol at Beric being raised from the dead 20 tims for one final grand gesture as a human doorstop.
I really wanted the Night King to kneel to Bran at the end. Overall I liked the episode even though as others have pointed out the ending was just prototypical super hero bs.
Should be chintersting to see how Dany, Jon, two dragons, and about 100 survivors try to defeat Cersei, the Golden Company, and the Iron Fleet, who look pretty tan ready and rested. Hopefully there are one or two more major twists to come.
Tyrion or Jamie will strangle Cersei (it's prophecy)
CleganeBowl is still in play.
Arya is a fucking super hero so she's got superhero skillz. Able to be in library full of wights undetected. Years of assassin training so of course she can go undetected until the last second.
I had no problem with Arya running around murdering fools, but when fat Sam is basically attempting to body surf zombies for ten minutes straight eventually he has to die, right?
Also in regards to the prophecy the red women told Arya she would kill people with Brown (Walder Frey), Blue (Night King), and Green eyes (Cersei?), so look for her to sneak in with Jamie or Tyrion’s face after Bronn crossbows them and merc Cersei.
Lol at Beric being raised from the dead 20 tims for one final grand gesture as a human doorstop.
im sort of resorting to a hanlons "never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity" and calming my nerdrage and going away. i'll be in the corner furiously masturbating about the final 2 books that will never release. kill me.
im sort of resorting to a hanlons "never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity" and calming my nerdrage and going away. i'll be in the corner furiously masturbating about the final 2 books that will never release. kill me.
I read the first 3 (or was it 4) while in college and was so excited for 5. Now I'm just like whatever
Comments
what's so mysterious about the WF crypts and why do characters often dream of them? dunno
why must there always be a stark in winterfell? dunno
why was Bran doing nothing other than being a literal raven, i guess? what's the point of this massive, 8 season long story arc? dunno
why was the VERY FIRST SCENE in the show about white walkers when they weren't the final enemy? dunno
is there any reason that the NK does what he does other than that he wants to kill Bran? dunno
nerdrage++
Rob Stark died because he married the wrong chick.
But the heroes survived the insurmountable odds despite being surrounded 20 to 1 and exhausted. Just long enough for Arya to run for 15 minutes silently through Winterfell full of Wights and past the white walkers who had no idea she was there.
The consequences are gone.
All this despite the fact that it takes a year to travel the King’s Road from King’s Landing to Winterfell.
#angrynerd
I feel like throwing a flashlight, ten pairs of socks, a Halloween mask, and four dildos in my clothes dryer, turning it on, filming it through the window, cutting that video together in Premiere so that no shot lasts longer than three tenths of a second, and seeing if anybody can tell it apart from any battle scene from this episode. This new Jason Bourne filming technique of "we're too lazy/poor/bad to make this look good, so cut so quickly that nobody can tell" has got to go.
Furthermore, even the 45 seconds of the episode when you could tell what was going on was a total fucking mess. I want to see a Plinkett review of this episode soooo badly! Okay, so let me get this straight:
1.) The Knight King has a boner for younger/better looking Pumpy, so you're going to use him as a lure. Best place to put him? Right in the middle of the castle where all of your important people are hiding. Not, like, out in a field somewhere to lure the army away.
2.) You've got these two dragons that have some magical inexhaustible supply of flaming burp gas or something, and they can kill a hundred zombies in two seconds. Got it. Well let's send hundreds of men in to die and become part of the opposing force before hitting the enemy army with said dragons.
3.) While we're at it, since fire kills these things, the castle is the last stronghold, and we've got these giant sources of inexhaustible fire, let's put thousands of fighters outside the castle, let most of them die, let the rest run back into the castle, then defend the castle. Meanwhile, the dragons fly around outside getting lost and stuff. I mean, packing all your fighters into the castle that you have, using those walls as a barrier, parking a dragon on top of said walls on each side, and having them melt anything that comes close would be too simple.
4.) This is an army of the undead. Safest place to hide? The crypt. What could possibly go wrong?
The retardation doesn't end with the good guys. The Knight King? Why did he wait to raise the dead in the crypt? He obviously knew they were down there. Why not just rock up to a quarter mile from the castle, raise the dead downstairs, wait for them to murder their way through the castle and open the fucking doors, then crush the army outside and walk in like a boss?
If I had a chin for every time I told my wife, "That's just fucking stupid!" I'd dominate Doog-bot's rankings when they come out in 2023. The witch lighting the trench on fire? Laaaame. The guys on horses charging an undead army they can't see? Stuuuuupid. The dragon queen lady just sitting there on the ground with her dragon for like five minutes for no reason, knowing that the place was swarming with zombies? Just totally fucking contrived. The guy who came to the dragon queen lady's rescue doing so because he hears a dragon scream and just assumes that she must be in trouble, never mind the fact that it sounded exactly like a thousand other dragon screams that happened throughout the episode? Come on. The constantly repeated Bruce Lee fight scenes, where a main character is surrounded by a billion zombies, but the zombies come at them one at a time in a stream of endless fodder? Fucking stupid. The same half-second scene of guys protecting Pumpy shooting flaming arrows at zombies as they are overrun, only to be revisited a minute later to see them--once again--shooting flaming arrows at zombies as they are overrun? Ugh. Main character either in my dryer full of flashlights and dildos or in a battle with zombies (who can tell?), either good guys or zombies being split open left and right (who can tell?), main character seemingly overrun by a mass of undead humanity and outnumbered fifty to one, somehow said main character still alive and fighting other waves of zombies next time it cuts back to them? Even though quite literally EVERYBODY around them has been massacred? Suck a dick, HBO.
Brief summary: The writers seemed to have a Point B that they wanted to get to from Point A. The journey between is one that makes no sense at any point and during which every single incident in the episode that helped them get there (dragon sitting on the ground for eternity so that it can be enveloped by zombies and drop white haired gal on the ground, main character appearing in a tree above the White King inexplicably, etc.) is poorly developed, ridiculously implausible, or comic book movie nonsensical. Not a single thing happened in that episode that made any sense or followed logically from the setup. This was the 2016 playoff semifinal of big budget television episodes.
Should be chintersting to see how Dany, Jon, two dragons, and about 100 survivors try to defeat Cersei, the Golden Company, and the Iron Fleet, who look pretty tan ready and rested. Hopefully there are one or two more major twists to come.
CleganeBowl is still in play.
Arya is a fucking super hero so she's got superhero skillz. Able to be in library full of wights undetected. Years of assassin training so of course she can go undetected until the last second.
The biggest let down is that you've built up the White Walkers for a decade, they finally make it south of the Wall, and you merc them in a manner that's really only painful for a faceless segment of "army men" from your various allies. The Boltons required more sacrifice to end it feels like.
Also in regards to the prophecy the red women told Arya she would kill people with Brown (Walder Frey), Blue (Night King), and Green eyes (Cersei?), so look for her to sneak in with Jamie or Tyrion’s face after Bronn crossbows them and merc Cersei.