PM to BackthePack (OFFICIAL Advice Thread)

Baseman

No matter how hot you think she is, somebody’s tired of fucking her.

backthepack

Lol what?

DeepSeaZ

I know I am.

JaWarrenJaHooker

backthepack said:

Lol what?

This is good advice just remember it

DerekJohnson

Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).

...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.

A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.

Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

oregonblitzkrieg

DerekJohnson

pawz

DerekJohnson said:

Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).

...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.

A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.

Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

Can't flag a mooderator's poast for not shit-poasting the appropriate horseshittingongirlshead.gif


.

Swaye

Let me give you some more advice that will seriously help your life...

1) If you go down on it and it tastes like a penny, stop licking. You might have AIDS.
2) Might seem like a good idea to earn your red wings one day. It's not.
3) Even if you are white collar, learn how to use tools and fix shit. It might save your life one day.
4) Get in a real fist fight at least once in your life. You learn a lot about yourself.
5) If you dream big, you'll probably fail. That's okay. Turn to drinking instead.
6) If you ever do anything super embarrassing or humiliating, immediately act like you meant to do it. Anything else makes you look like a weak fag.
7) Never weed eat in shorts. See number 6 above.
8) Go on a real hunt and kill something with some regularity. You aren't a man until you can kill, clean and cook your own food. This includes building the fire to cook it on. Trust me on this.
9) Jail is fine, but never go to prison. Jail gives you street cred. Prison gives you anal rape.
10) Buy and own an old Jeep. This step will help you achieve steps 3 and 8 above.

Live by that and you will destroy much vulva and have a pretty good life. Ignore it and you will suck or become a queer. In either case you are sucking.

Swaye

Special note on number 7. Get a gas powered weed eater that you could cut a car in half with if you needed. People who buy plug in weed eaters are either losers, or people with a small yard, which means they are failures. Your lawn implements should scare people.

Dennis_DeYoung

My advice is this: you are a useless loser so do us a favor and do the needful with Babushka. Not death OF COURSE, but you get the point.

Take whatever sentence your autistic ass has coming to you and enjoy your life being a retard in prison. You’ll never get any pussy so try to make an erotic association with cock and get good at licking balls. Dudes like this.

Eat ass like a champ and learn to please your prison owner, happily.

PurpleThrobber

Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

PurpleBaze

Never blame the bitch for the bad taste in your mouth. Just put on a brushin', a smile, and move the fuck on.

TierbsHsotBoobs

DerekJohnson said:

Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).

...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.

A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.

Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

You know why

TierbsHsotBoobs

Swaye said:

Let me give you some more advice that will seriously help your life...

1) If you go down on it and it tastes like a penny, stop licking. You might have AIDS.
2) Might seem like a good idea to earn your red wings one day. It's not.
3) Even if you are white collar, learn how to use tools and fix shit. It might save your life one day.
4) Get in a real fist fight at least once in your life. You learn a lot about yourself.
5) If you dream big, you'll probably fail. That's okay. Turn to drinking instead.
6) If you ever do anything super embarrassing or humiliating, immediately act like you meant to do it. Anything else makes you look like a weak fag.
7) Never weed eat in shorts. See number 6 above.
8) Go on a real hunt and kill something with some regularity. You aren't a man until you can kill, clean and cook your own food. This includes building the fire to cook it on. Trust me on this.
9) Jail is fine, but never go to prison. Jail gives you street cred. Prison gives you anal rape.
10) Buy and own an old Jeep. This step will help you achieve steps 3 and 8 above.

Live by that and you will destroy much vulva and have a pretty good life. Ignore it and you will suck or become a queer. In either case you are sucking.

Your silence about fondue speaks volumes

Baseman

Dennis_DeYoung said:

My advice is this: you are a useless loser so do us a favor and do the needful with Babushka. Not death OF COURSE, but you get the point.

Take whatever sentence your autistic ass has coming to you and enjoy your life being a retard in prison. You’ll never get any pussy so try to make an erotic association with cock and get good at licking balls. Dudes like this.

Eat ass like a champ and learn to please your prison owner, happily.

Sage advice

YellowSnow

Swaye said:

Special note on number 7. Get a gas powered weed eater that you could cut a car in half with if you needed. People who buy plug in weed eaters are either losers, or people with a small yard, which means they are failures. Your lawn implements should scare people.

#7 hurtful and chinsensitive. At least my lawnmower uses gas.

CFetters_Nacho_Lover

backthepack said:

Lol what?

He’s talking about one of your 2 dads & your mom. HTH

CFetters_Nacho_Lover

DerekJohnson said:

Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).

...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.

A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.

Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

Story time with Uncle Stalin should be a regular feature on the front page.

AZDuck

DerekJohnson said:

Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).

...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.

A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.

Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

Flagged WTFd for no pics of @Khaleesi

yobates

here's some good advice from Ronnie and Toni

gather the wind
though the wind wont help you fly at all
your back's to the wall
chain the sun and it tears away
and it breaks you as you run, you run, you run

behind the smile there's danger and a promise to be told
you'll never get old
life's fantasy, to be locked away
and still to think you're free, you're free, you're free

so live for today
tomorrow never comes

die young, die young
can't you see the writing on the wall
die young, gonna die young
someone stopped the fall