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PM to BackthePack (OFFICIAL Advice Thread)

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Comments

  • backthepackbackthepack Member Posts: 19,839

    My advice is this: you are a useless loser so do us a favor and do the needful with Babushka. Not death OF COURSE, but you get the point.

    Take whatever sentence your autistic ass has coming to you and enjoy your life being a retard in prison. You’ll never get any pussy so try to make an erotic association with cock and get good at licking balls. Dudes like this.

    Eat ass like a champ and learn to please your prison owner, happily.

    I have a fall guy, i'm not completely retarded.
  • FireCohenFireCohen Member Posts: 21,823

    It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission

    Follow your heart and your dick will follow you

    hence first 6 inches were consensual
  • backthepackbackthepack Member Posts: 19,839

    If I posted a pic of Khalesi the board would probably have a melt down.

    She's closer to my age, do it faggot.
  • TierbsHsotBoobsTierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    Also: does she prefer chocolate chip pancakes or blueberry pancakes?
  • oregonblitzkriegoregonblitzkrieg Member Posts: 15,288

    take advice from a board that is littered with fucking trolls/phedophiles/degenerates you will go far in life your mom's basement

  • backthepackbackthepack Member Posts: 19,839

    Okay, now that I realize you have a fall guy I have some other advice for you:

    never lose your sense of wonder
    get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
    never take one single breath for granted
    never let love leave you empty handed
    still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
    Whenever one door closes remember one more opens
    give faith a fighting chance
    when you get the choice to sit it out or dance: dance.

    Holy fuck that's such faggy advice.
  • GwadGwad Member Posts: 2,855
    When sucking as much as Jake Browning. Don't grind in the film room.... look within. Ohm Shanti Shanti Shanti.
  • Doog_de_JourDoog_de_Jour Member Posts: 7,958 Standard Supporter
    Swaye said:

    Let me give you some more advice that will seriously help your life...

    1) If you go down on it and it tastes like a penny, stop licking. You might have AIDS.
    2) Might seem like a good idea to earn your red wings one day. It's not.
    3) Even if you are white collar, learn how to use tools and fix shit. It might save your life one day.
    4) Get in a real fist fight at least once in your life. You learn a lot about yourself.
    5) If you dream big, you'll probably fail. That's okay. Turn to drinking instead.
    6) If you ever do anything super embarrassing or humiliating, immediately act like you meant to do it. Anything else makes you look like a weak fag.
    7) Never weed eat in shorts. See number 6 above.
    8) Go on a real hunt and kill something with some regularity. You aren't a man until you can kill, clean and cook your own food. This includes building the fire to cook it on. Trust me on this.
    9) Jail is fine, but never go to prison. Jail gives you street cred. Prison gives you anal rape.
    10) Buy and own an old Jeep. This step will help you achieve steps 3 and 8 above.

    Wow, that’s actually some good advice.

    I’ll throw in a few:

    1) To add to @Swaye’s #3, also learn one of the “feminine arts” (baking, sewing, etc.) I’m not saying you have to make a soufflé or custom window treatments, but it shows people (especially the ladies) that you’re man enough to hem your own damn pants.

    2) Own one really nice, tailored suit (and the appropriate matching suit, shoes, belt, etc.)

    3) Before you start something, have a plan B, C, D, etc. Life never works out how you expect.

    4) If you have the opportunity to travel/study abroad, DO IT!

    5) Don’t call for deaths/genocide

    BONUS ADVICE:

    Oh, and I liked this quote from the movie “Roadhouse” (shoutout to @Pitchfork51):

    “All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.”
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