Ok nerds - talk about the new Star Wars movie

jecornel said:

It is a 2 and half hour train wreck that feels like 10 hours. Terrible fucking movie. Boring as fuck except for about 10-15 minutes.

Zero back story, zero character development. Awful. Benechi del toro's character just showed up out of the blue. Made zero sense. There was potential for his role.

Some of the scenes are downright absurd. I won't spoil it but there is a princess Leia scene that so beyond absurd its obscene.

Also, there is a luke Skywalker scene that involves a teet that so awkward and stupid that they must have been trolling old fans.

Phantom menace might be better.... if you could even imagine.

Sweet Jesus. I don’t even know where to start with this. No backstory or character development? That’s all the fucking movie was. Complaining about a lack of action would have made more sense.

Gridiron(RIP) quad feed. Fuck off, Star Trek fags.

RaceBannon said:

Star Wars is Star Trek for dummies

You like the dummy series of Trek, but still.

jecornel said:

EsophagealFeces said:

jecornel said:

It is a 2 and half hour train wreck that feels like 10 hours. Terrible fucking movie. Boring as fuck except for about 10-15 minutes.

Zero back story, zero character development. Awful. Benechi del toro's character just showed up out of the blue. Made zero sense. There was potential for his role.

Some of the scenes are downright absurd. I won't spoil it but there is a princess Leia scene that so beyond absurd its obscene.

Also, there is a luke Skywalker scene that involves a teet that so awkward and stupid that they must have been trolling old fans.

Phantom menace might be better.... if you could even imagine.

Sweet Jesus. I don’t even know where to start with this. No backstory or character development? That’s all the fucking movie was. Complaining about a lack of action would have made more sense.

The leia floating in space after being blown up might be the worst scene in movie history.

Nah bro


https://youtu.be/wNjGJZRZ85k

The new trilogy was doomed once they decided to use the old actors. Should have made it fifty years in the future where they are all dead.

Old fat Luke is just stupid.

jecornel said:

Pitchfork51 said:

jecornel said:

EsophagealFeces said:

jecornel said:

It is a 2 and half hour train wreck that feels like 10 hours. Terrible fucking movie. Boring as fuck except for about 10-15 minutes.

Zero back story, zero character development. Awful. Benechi del toro's character just showed up out of the blue. Made zero sense. There was potential for his role.

Some of the scenes are downright absurd. I won't spoil it but there is a princess Leia scene that so beyond absurd its obscene.

Also, there is a luke Skywalker scene that involves a teet that so awkward and stupid that they must have been trolling old fans.

Phantom menace might be better.... if you could even imagine.

Sweet Jesus. I don’t even know where to start with this. No backstory or character development? That’s all the fucking movie was. Complaining about a lack of action would have made more sense.

The leia floating in space after being blown up might be the worst scene in movie history.

Nah bro


https://youtu.be/wNjGJZRZ85k

Well bro, the comments disagree about the spider Man scene.

Leia got blown the fuck up but then didn't and then floating in space no problem and then she flew herself back to a ship. Then she just wakes up later and blasts Poe.

Luke drinking alien teet milk was just knee slapping funny.

Race made a comment about the star Trek reboot. The first was done perfectly. Mix of new and old that worked.

Last Jedi was a joke.

Sounds like you think Spiderman 3 is a good movie

This whole thread is beyond Haitian AIDS

BaldwinIV said:

Your beloved favorite characters Han, Luke, and Leia, who you thought beat the bad guys and lived happily ever after, were actually failures who spent their entire lives fighting a horrifying, generations long, losing war that took away everything they ever loved and eventually killed them, but not before passing the horror on to a new cursed generation, because these toys aren't gonna sell themselves.

I love watching Return of the Jedi now, knowing that, rather than it being a happy ending, turns out the rebellion is slowly crushed, the imperials emerge stronger and more brutal than ever, Han and Leia have a child that turns out to be literally Hitler x100000000 then they break up, and Luke loses faith in everything he's ever believed and totally gives up until it's too late to make any real difference. Han is murdered by his own child, and Leia lives just long enough to see everything and everyone that she ever loved die.

Nerdrage++ but that movie sucked more dick than Liberace on cocaine.

Gladstone said:

BaldwinIV said:

Your beloved favorite characters Han, Luke, and Leia, who you thought beat the bad guys and lived happily ever after, were actually failures who spent their entire lives fighting a horrifying, generations long, losing war that took away everything they ever loved and eventually killed them, but not before passing the horror on to a new cursed generation, because these toys aren't gonna sell themselves.

I love watching Return of the Jedi now, knowing that, rather than it being a happy ending, turns out the rebellion is slowly crushed, the imperials emerge stronger and more brutal than ever, Han and Leia have a child that turns out to be literally Hitler x100000000 then they break up, and Luke loses faith in everything he's ever believed and totally gives up until it's too late to make any real difference. Han is murdered by his own child, and Leia lives just long enough to see everything and everyone that she ever loved die.

Nerdrage++ but that movie sucked more dick than Liberace on cocaine.

You want Happily Ever After, draw a bubble bath, brew some chamomile tea, and read a fucking Harlequin romance

BearsWiin said:

Gladstone said:

BaldwinIV said:

Your beloved favorite characters Han, Luke, and Leia, who you thought beat the bad guys and lived happily ever after, were actually failures who spent their entire lives fighting a horrifying, generations long, losing war that took away everything they ever loved and eventually killed them, but not before passing the horror on to a new cursed generation, because these toys aren't gonna sell themselves.

I love watching Return of the Jedi now, knowing that, rather than it being a happy ending, turns out the rebellion is slowly crushed, the imperials emerge stronger and more brutal than ever, Han and Leia have a child that turns out to be literally Hitler x100000000 then they break up, and Luke loses faith in everything he's ever believed and totally gives up until it's too late to make any real difference. Han is murdered by his own child, and Leia lives just long enough to see everything and everyone that she ever loved die.

Nerdrage++ but that movie sucked more dick than Liberace on cocaine.

You want Happily Ever After, draw a bubble bath, brew some chamomile tea, and read a fucking Harlequin romance

OK I'll dumb myself down and pretend that retroactively ruining the OT isn't a big deal.

So how about the plot then? So the story goes - the Empire (sorry, "1st order") is chasing these three rebel cruisers, slooowly, and rebels cannot get away, and their fuel is dwindling, and it's a matter of hours before the chase ends, so the secondary characters have a plan of, ahem, GOING TO A SEPARATE STAR SYSTEM, FINDING A "MASTER CODEBREAKER" WHOM THEY WILL ONLY RECOGNIZE BY HAVING A RED FLOWER ON HIS SHIRT, COMING BACK, STEALTHILY INFILTRATING A GIANT FREAKING EMPIRE MOTHERSHIP AND REMOVING SOME TECHNICAL MUMBO JUMBO WHICH WILL ALLOW REBELS TO ESCAPE!?!? I find it unfathomable Disney signed off on this lol

I won't even get into the characters. Or the bizarre, not-subtle politicizing.

Ahh it feels good to nerd rage. Been a while.

Gladstone said:

BearsWiin said:

Gladstone said:

BaldwinIV said:

Your beloved favorite characters Han, Luke, and Leia, who you thought beat the bad guys and lived happily ever after, were actually failures who spent their entire lives fighting a horrifying, generations long, losing war that took away everything they ever loved and eventually killed them, but not before passing the horror on to a new cursed generation, because these toys aren't gonna sell themselves.

I love watching Return of the Jedi now, knowing that, rather than it being a happy ending, turns out the rebellion is slowly crushed, the imperials emerge stronger and more brutal than ever, Han and Leia have a child that turns out to be literally Hitler x100000000 then they break up, and Luke loses faith in everything he's ever believed and totally gives up until it's too late to make any real difference. Han is murdered by his own child, and Leia lives just long enough to see everything and everyone that she ever loved die.

Nerdrage++ but that movie sucked more dick than Liberace on cocaine.

You want Happily Ever After, draw a bubble bath, brew some chamomile tea, and read a fucking Harlequin romance

OK I'll dumb myself down and pretend that retroactively ruining the OT isn't a big deal.

So how about the plot then? So the story goes - the Empire (sorry, "1st order") is chasing these three rebel cruisers, slooowly, and rebels cannot get away, and their fuel is dwindling, and it's a matter of hours before the chase ends, so the secondary characters have a plan of, ahem, GOING TO A SEPARATE STAR SYSTEM, FINDING A "MASTER CODEBREAKER" WHOM THEY WILL ONLY RECOGNIZE BY HAVING A RED FLOWER ON HIS SHIRT, COMING BACK, STEALTHILY INFILTRATING A GIANT FREAKING EMPIRE MOTHERSHIP AND REMOVING SOME TECHNICAL MUMBO JUMBO WHICH WILL ALLOW REBELS TO ESCAPE!?!? I find it unfathomable Disney signed off on this lol

I won't even get into the characters. Or the bizarre, not-subtle politicizing.

Ahh it feels good to nerd rage. Been a while.

Right. And you probably had no problem with mynocks living in an atmospheric gullet of a space worm on an asteroid in ESB. Or that nobody on another Imperial shop cared to look at the back of the Avenger's superstructure to see the Falcon hanging on to it. Or that the original fucking Death Star hyperspaced to Yavin but then took an interminably loooong time to get around the planet to get a shot on the moon.

The original trilogy had holes. It was campy. Don't act like it didn't, and the newer movies somehow don't live up.