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Apple Cup Adventure: AKA Fuck Thanksgiving My Life Sucks

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  • minion_doog
    minion_doog Member Posts: 2,024
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Just got a text from CLS: "Come pick your stuff up"

    Uh oh. She is smart to keep me away from her so I can't give her the old pelvic gyrations to lure her back in. Gravy train may be derailed permanently. Fuck.

    Get in a text battle

    You - I may have tried to fuck your friend but at least I would never break up by text
    It was some other girls friend. Thank God. If it would have been her friend she probably would have run me over.
    If it wasn't her friend then what;s the big deal?
    This is my logic that she doesn't seem to be buying.
    If the poon is as good as the money, you may only have one move...

    image
    Dangerous move. Giving her power over me could fuck me for life. But money is cool. Decisions.
    Power never really changes, any swing regardless of cause, is temporary.
  • dannarc
    dannarc Member Posts: 2,697
    Swaye said:

    AZDuck said:

    On the bright side - her family will either airbrush you out of the family picture or have to deal with your swarthy, lecherous presence in the family calendar

    She hasn't told them yet which tells me she is holding onto some hope that this works out, because if she was truly done she would have trashed me to them already.
    She Gone.
  • dannarc
    dannarc Member Posts: 2,697
    We like "Big Backs" here
  • DeepSeaZ
    DeepSeaZ Member Posts: 3,901
    When is the next poker party? Asking for a friend. Open to all Navy vets?
  • Pitchfork51
    Pitchfork51 Member Posts: 27,662
    Let he who has not gotten walked in on with a fat titted red head by his amphibious girlfriend cast the first stone I always say.
  • tenndawg
    tenndawg Member Posts: 1,161
    Swaye said:

    And if that plan doesn't work, here's a new target for your skillset. Chuck Woolery level Love Connection:

    http://people.com/tv/naya-rivera-allegedly-drinking-out-of-control-before-arrest/

    Wood utterly smash.

    image
    Profiles In Courage

    Your self sacrifice is duly noted - small wonder that you are the HH role model
  • Swaye
    Swaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,739 Founders Club

    Swaye said:

    Still trying to fix things with CLS, but since she isn't talking much figured I'd take the opportunity to talk to sink girl. I'm taking her out for seafood tonight. I fully intend to plow the shit out of it during this trying separation. Sometimes bad things bring happy results.

    You're a true chinspiration Swaye. I'm pretty sure that if life gave you lemons, you'd get so shitfaced you'd think they were tits and try to motorboat them.
    Inb4svenlemonpartyjoke
  • AZDuck
    AZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
    Swaye said:

    Still trying to fix things with CLS, but since she isn't talking much figured I'd take the opportunity to talk to sink girl. I'm taking her out for seafood tonight. I fully intend to plow the shit out of it during this trying separation. Sometimes bad things bring happy results.

    I see no downside to this
  • TierbsHsotBoobs
    TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Still trying to fix things with CLS, but since she isn't talking much figured I'd take the opportunity to talk to sink girl. I'm taking her out for seafood tonight. I fully intend to plow the shit out of it during this trying separation. Sometimes bad things bring happy results.

    You're a true chinspiration Swaye. I'm pretty sure that if life gave you lemons, you'd get so shitfaced you'd think they were tits and try to motorboat them.
    Inb4svenlemonpartyjoke
    Motherfucker
  • BleachedAnusDawg
    BleachedAnusDawg Member Posts: 13,170 Standard Supporter
    Sexual Addiction
    Sexual addiction, also known as sex addiction, is a state characterized by compulsive participation or engagement in sexual activity, particularly sexual intercourse, despite negative consequences.
    Otherwise, your last hope may be to somehow get CLS to hate-fuck you. Women cannot separate sex from relationships.
  • DerekJohnson
    DerekJohnson Administrator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 68,293 Founders Club
    Swaye said:

    And if that plan doesn't work, here's a new target for your skillset. Chuck Woolery level Love Connection:

    http://people.com/tv/naya-rivera-allegedly-drinking-out-of-control-before-arrest/

    Wood utterly smash.

    image
    Sweet Jesus
  • minion_doog
    minion_doog Member Posts: 2,024
    edited November 2017
    Swaye said:

    Doogles said:

    I love story time with Swaye because it's real. This board brags about hookers and blow but 99% of you couldn't find it in Tijuana.

    Pump has that part dialed in, a bunch of Seinfeld quoting nerds. You're all wearing dad jeans with Nike Air Monarchs right now.

    But Swaye, he is the real deal. Although I reckon he's much more successful than he lets on, he goes out and slays. And for sure has AIDS.

    When I die of AIDS my final words will be "I wish I had more tim"
    "Shh Bby Is Ok"

    -George Costanza
  • PurpleBaze
    PurpleBaze Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 30,309 Founders Club
    Swaye said:

    Update: Meeting CLS at a coffee shop tonight to discuss our future. Have a dinner date all set with Sink Girl for Saturday night. I win no matter how this goes.

    Winners win!