Story tim with Swaye....
Comments
-
YBFEPurpleJ said:I visited a wise shaman many moons ago at the Great Woof Lodge and he told me:
“Claps Like Seal will bear the fruit of Chief Powdernose’s seed on the day that the earth trembles with brown lava.”
I now understand the meaning of this great prophecy. He was very wise. He let me bum some smokes and take pulls from his bottle. -
So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career. -
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers.
-
Sometimes I find it amazing that our species has survived for thousands of yearsdnc said:
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers.
-
We used to survive at much lower rates.whlinder said:
Sometimes I find it amazing that our species has survived for thousands of yearsdnc said:
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers. -
For those wondering, my asshole has finally stopped belching hot fire. Pretty sure it will never be the same though. In an interesting corollary to my ass issues, little FRANNY torched off her first round and it can only be described as some weird tar like substance. I was pretty sure she was actually a demon spawn until the nurse told me that's normal for a little while. Damn. I was hoping I created a minion of otherwordly evil sent here to enslave the white race. Dreams die hard.
-
Swaye said:
For those wondering, my asshole has finally stopped belching hot fire. Pretty sure it will never be the same though. In an interesting corollary to my ass issues, little FRANNY torched off her first round and it can only be described as some weird tar like substance. I was pretty sure she was actually a demon spawn until the nurse told me that's normal for a little while. Damn. I was hoping I created a minion of otherwordly evil sent here to enslave the white race. Dreams die hard.
-
This is just the beginning of all the weird substance that will exit your spawn over the next 24-36 months.Swaye said:For those wondering, my asshole has finally stopped belching hot fire. Pretty sure it will never be the same though. In an interesting corollary to my ass issues, little FRANNY torched off her first round and it can only be described as some weird tar like substance. I was pretty sure she was actually a demon spawn until the nurse told me that's normal for a little while. Damn. I was hoping I created a minion of otherwordly evil sent here to enslave the white race. Dreams die hard.
T’s and P’s to your time and all the things you used to do. -
And were THANKFUL for itMad_Son said:
We used to survive at much lower rates.whlinder said:
Sometimes I find it amazing that our species has survived for thousands of yearsdnc said:
Down here they call them "Lactation Consultants" which is hilarious in it's owen way.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
They are a big deal. Mrs. DNC swears by hers. -
Make sure you have the docs give you the prescription tittay cream with roids. Most newborns will tear ‘em up in the first month.Swaye said:So, filing this under the weird things I have learned in the last 24 hours...
Did you know breastfeeding is not as straightforward as you would think? I always assumed it was pretty much pull out titty and stick little human on it. Done. Not so fast. It appears sometimes the little cherubs don't latch right, or the nipple is unique and requires special techniques or some shit. Whatever the case, I was greeted this morning by a "Breastfeeding Consultant" who showed up to help CLS attain perfect latch. I am not making this up. There is actually a job where the sole purpose is to achieve better tit sucking. If Orkin doesn't work out I am pretty sure I have found my follow on career.
