@creepycoug how do I keep my sons from becoming lowly quooks or boovs?
@YellowSnow Well I have some advice ~ the same advice that my dad gave me when I was about 13.
If you like it, have fun with this, you are just the guy to deliver this kind of message. Your kids might even eventually believe you. They will certainly remember that you believed in them enough to say it. Kiss.
Here is what he said, don't exactly remember how it came up but i was being bushwacked with a time released capsule of information that i would not understand until later ~ which was the style that both of my parents employed frequently throughout my childhood. I was repeatedly abused in exactly that fashion.
His words were, if you want to be successful in life all that you have to do is to be the very best at what you do.
My response was thank you so much dad... jeasze sounds simple enough. [I was thinking WTF? why tell me that its impossible to really be successful? Doesn't he realize how competitive jr high is much less life in general?]
This was a bear trap. He continued unruffled by my lack of immediate inspiration.
He proceeded to say: I don't mean be good at what you do, i mean be the very best. He emphasizes: Be number 1. And he says, there is a difference. What it takes to be number one is much different than what it takes to be "good at what you do". Remember that he says.
I'm thinking great, more fucking awesome advice. Yow.
So he continues: I will tell you what this means... don't waste your time on stuff that you are moderately interested in.
Don't try to be good at stuff that you don't care about unless it is for amusement purposes. Identify your best skills and interests and build on exactly those those skills and experiences.
Assuming that you actually have the ethic and intention to only focus on what you are really interested in and build on the skills that you are really good at; and that you never [fucking] quit; and that you continue to work at it with all of your power until you are long since the last man standing ~ you actually will be the best at what you do.
He finishes with: everyone will have quit long before you, and the simple part is that if you are the best at what you are do ~ there is simply no competition, and your life turns into what you dream of.
There is one more aspect to this which is very important: concentrate your efforts on blue water adventures: Do things that have never been done before.
Sage advice, but.a tall order. I wonder ... how many of us actually did this? Did you?
It's what I've tried to demand of my kids because it's what I was told and yes it worked for me. But I wake up every day wondering how I'm going to win. I'm in sales and eventually started my own company. It's been a great run and now all I do is worry about my kids. Using fear and demanding excellence really hasn't worked like I hoped but, who knows, maybe one day my hardass approach will pay off for them. It's a brutal world and unless you're willing to work harder than 95 out of 100 people you really can't expect to dominate.
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
I'm saying that there arent girls in math and engineering. They go into medical, biology, etc.
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
I'm saying that there arent girls in math and engineering. They go into medical, biology, etc.
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
I'm saying that there arent girls in math and engineering. They go into medical, biology, etc.
My older daughter is going to be a freshman at UA in Tucson this fall. Full ride academic scholarship for 4 years as long as she keeps a 3.5 so we? only have to pay room and board. She’ll be in pre-Med/Biology. Could have gone to more prestigious schools but she said she’d rather be one of the smarter ones in her program and also get out of the Portland rain. Basically admitted to being academically lazy but it’s her choice. She got a 34 composite on her ACT and straight As while in HS and is taking all college credit course now online so can’t really complain.
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
I'm saying that there arent girls in math and engineering. They go into medical, biology, etc.
My older daughter is going to be a freshman at UA in Tucson this fall. Full ride academic scholarship for 4 years as long as she keeps a 3.5 so we? only have to pay room and board. She’ll be in pre-Med/Biology. Could have gone to more prestigious schools but she said she’d rather be one of the smarter ones in her program and also get out of the Portland rain. Basically admitted to being academically lazy but it’s her choice. She got a 34 composite on her ACT and straight As while in HS and is taking all college credit course now online so can’t really complain.
It's just her undergraduate degree. That's the right move. For kids who have good credentials who are willing to go out-of-state, schools are often willing to do a lot to build their geographic profiles. Congrats!
My oldest got that exact same offer at Pitt, but Pitt didn't offer a Bachelors of Music degree, so we didn't take advantage of it. If he hadn't zeroed in on such a specific degree, it would have been an easy decision.
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
I'm saying that there arent girls in math and engineering. They go into medical, biology, etc.
My older daughter is going to be a freshman at UA in Tucson this fall. Full ride academic scholarship for 4 years as long as she keeps a 3.5 so we? only have to pay room and board. She’ll be in pre-Med/Biology. Could have gone to more prestigious schools but she said she’d rather be one of the smarter ones in her program and also get out of the Portland rain. Basically admitted to being academically lazy but it’s her choice. She got a 34 composite on her ACT and straight As while in HS and is taking all college credit course now online so can’t really complain.
It's just her undergraduate degree. That's the right move. For kids who have good credentials who are willing to go out-of-state, schools are often willing to do a lot to build their geographic profiles. Congrats!
My oldest got that exact same offer at Pitt, but Pitt didn't offer a Bachelors of Music degree.
That was one of the points we all agreed on. If she goes to med school or graduate school, that’s where the school will matter more. In the meantime, getting a PAC-12 degree mostly paid for while playing in the sun all year sounds pretty good to her after being in her room taking classes since last March. Most of her good friends are also going out of state, which seems odd to me during a pandemic but maybe they are all just that sick of us parents after a year of limited outside the house options.
@creepycoug how do I keep my sons from becoming lowly quooks or boovs?
@YellowSnow Well I have some advice ~ the same advice that my dad gave me when I was about 13.
If you like it, have fun with this, you are just the guy to deliver this kind of message. Your kids might even eventually believe you. They will certainly remember that you believed in them enough to say it. Kiss.
Here is what he said, don't exactly remember how it came up but i was being bushwacked with a time released capsule of information that i would not understand until later ~ which was the style that both of my parents employed frequently throughout my childhood. I was repeatedly abused in exactly that fashion.
His words were, if you want to be successful in life all that you have to do is to be the very best at what you do.
My response was thank you so much dad... jeasze sounds simple enough. [I was thinking WTF? why tell me that its impossible to really be successful? Doesn't he realize how competitive jr high is much less life in general?]
This was a bear trap. He continued unruffled by my lack of immediate inspiration.
He proceeded to say: I don't mean be good at what you do, i mean be the very best. He emphasizes: Be number 1. And he says, there is a difference. What it takes to be number one is much different than what it takes to be "good at what you do". Remember that he says.
I'm thinking great, more fucking awesome advice. Yow.
So he continues: I will tell you what this means... don't waste your time on stuff that you are moderately interested in.
Don't try to be good at stuff that you don't care about unless it is for amusement purposes. Identify your best skills and interests and build on exactly those those skills and experiences.
Assuming that you actually have the ethic and intention to only focus on what you are really interested in and build on the skills that you are really good at; and that you never [fucking] quit; and that you continue to work at it with all of your power until you are long since the last man standing ~ you actually will be the best at what you do.
He finishes with: everyone will have quit long before you, and the simple part is that if you are the best at what you are do ~ there is simply no competition, and your life turns into what you dream of.
There is one more aspect to this which is very important: concentrate your efforts on blue water adventures: Do things that have never been done before.
Sage advice, but.a tall order. I wonder ... how many of us actually did this? Did you?
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
I'm saying that there arent girls in math and engineering. They go into medical, biology, etc.
My older daughter is going to be a freshman at UA in Tucson this fall. Full ride academic scholarship for 4 years as long as she keeps a 3.5 so we? only have to pay room and board. She’ll be in pre-Med/Biology. Could have gone to more prestigious schools but she said she’d rather be one of the smarter ones in her program and also get out of the Portland rain. Basically admitted to being academically lazy but it’s her choice. She got a 34 composite on her ACT and straight As while in HS and is taking all college credit course now online so can’t really complain.
I got a super good deal (including room and board plus some spending money - didnt actually need to work until I hit 21 and booze got expensive) so its pretty great. If I do an msc I'll maybe care where it is. Don't think I'd do an mba.
So my son with a medium case of dyslexia, has been getting into some ok colleges. I didn't think his grades were good enough to get into many schools but I was wrong. I guess he wrote an amazing essay on his struggles with dyslexia which must be making a difference. What is your advice between Alabama, Ol Miss, Arizona and St Mary's (Moraga Ca)? He's waiting to hear from Oregon (sacrilege), ASU and one or two others.
So my son with a medium case of dyslexia, has been getting into some ok colleges. I didn't think his grades were good enough to get into many schools but I was wrong. I guess he wrote an amazing essay on his struggles with dyslexia which must be making a difference. What is your advice between Alabama, Ol Miss, Arizona and St Mary's (Moraga Ca)? He's waiting to hear from Oregon (sacrilege), ASU and one or two others.
When in doubt, hot chicks are always the tie breaker.
I actually did take his advice over time without really realizing it and had good success. And yes, i did achieved number 1 status.
That isn't what is really important however, what is important is the mind set of how to be a winner ~ that means developing the killer desire to achieve, and that means the effort of continuing on when all others have quit and or failed ~ and then that is the beginning of continuing on until you have become the best.
Row boy is going to understand that which is why I added this response to his question.
I appreciate the advice from you, sir, and the others here. The funny thing about my row boy experience is that I was better than 99% of all the college rowers in America, but only good enough for middle of the pack at UW (the best program in the country at the time).
My goals for the sons are to not be lazy academically like I was (their mother was not which is I why she makes the big bucks); find a youth sport they love and start kicking ass at it; and develop a high emotional IQ.
We had to put the 6 yr old in private school to get caught up from this Covid bullshit and are doing tutoring 2 hrs a week on the side.
So my son with a medium case of dyslexia, has been getting into some ok colleges. I didn't think his grades were good enough to get into many schools but I was wrong. I guess he wrote an amazing essay on his struggles with dyslexia which must be making a difference. What is your advice between Alabama, Ol Miss, Arizona and St Mary's (Moraga Ca)? He's waiting to hear from Oregon (sacrilege), ASU and one or two others.
I'm going to give this to you straight my friend: If he has some struggles, the big state schools are not the place to be. I have two relatives with children who have learning differences, and both struggled at big state schools because, in a sense, that is education on the warehouse model. They don't do too much in the way of customizing the experience. It fucks with their economies of scale approach. And don't listen to anyone who says that's "learning differences" is PC bullshit, because it's not. I know too many brilliant fucking minds who have something that stands between them and typical expressions of academic achievement. I also know too many people who were good students but can't function outside that environment. We have a narrow set of ways we educate people, and we miss a lot of smart and creative kids because of it.
I am one who believes in the small college to begin with. I would push for St. Mary's. It's also a beautiful school. My daughter was recruited there for crew. It's a solid place.
And good on you to be thinking about this and honest about your kid and what he has to deal with. It's not a defect. It's just a difference that can be accommodated to allow what he has under the hood to be expressed in actual performance.
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
I'm saying that there arent girls in math and engineering. They go into medical, biology, etc.
My older daughter is going to be a freshman at UA in Tucson this fall. Full ride academic scholarship for 4 years as long as she keeps a 3.5 so we? only have to pay room and board. She’ll be in pre-Med/Biology. Could have gone to more prestigious schools but she said she’d rather be one of the smarter ones in her program and also get out of the Portland rain. Basically admitted to being academically lazy but it’s her choice. She got a 34 composite on her ACT and straight As while in HS and is taking all college credit course now online so can’t really complain.
It's just her undergraduate degree. That's the right move. For kids who have good credentials who are willing to go out-of-state, schools are often willing to do a lot to build their geographic profiles. Congrats!
My oldest got that exact same offer at Pitt, but Pitt didn't offer a Bachelors of Music degree.
That was one of the points we all agreed on. If she goes to med school or graduate school, that’s where the school will matter more. In the meantime, getting a PAC-12 degree mostly paid for while playing in the sun all year sounds pretty good to her after being in her room taking classes since last March. Most of her good friends are also going out of state, which seems odd to me during a pandemic but maybe they are all just that sick of us parents after a year of limited outside the house options.
Re: grad school (by contrast to professional schools like Law or Medicine)
Get into a funded PhD program.
My youngest was just advised, correctly I think, that she should not consider grad school except as a funded PhD. Basically, get paid to research what interests you while looking at the career prospects. You aren't making big money, but you're not digging a deep hole for your credential either.
I note that my middle one has been almost entirely self-supporting in her program. Same experience for one of my nephews.
@creepycoug I hated math/science (my Pops was an engineer and math wiz with 1 semester of college, but got his education building landing strips in the South Pacific during WWII). When I got to grad school, (at age 24), I ate it up. There is no way I could have gone thru a math / science curriculum as an 18 year old...I wasn't mature enough to handle it.
I think a lot of kids run away from math around the time of middle school, because that's the time during which the serious kids hunker down and start doing the harder stuff, and incidentally that's the time when the public schools start offering different math tracks. So if you're like 75% of 13 to 15 year olds, you don't want to bust your ass doing hard math, so you leave it and, for most, never come back to it.
They have done studies that show that girls who mentally check out of math almost always do so in the 8th grade, and they never come back. Tragic. That has so much to do with caring about what boys think of them, not wanting to show them up in class, and dealing with asshole teachers. Private school has an edge here; because you're going to achieve some level of math curriculum or you're not graduating. There's no "math for _________" at a real college prep school. Public school is different.
The point of this is that there are a lot of people with innate talent for mathematics who, because of various life circumstances, aren't ready to be married to it at 12 or 13, and as soon as they make that decision, their fate is sealed. I would venture to say this happens to a whole bunch of people.
Its really interesting to me that the IT field is almost entirely dudes yet I believe the amount of women in the sciences hasn't actually changed. They just go into medicine.
I cant really think of any real reason it should be guys over girls in the tech stuff. Uncle Bob's talk on the future of programming was interesting because apparently until the mid to late 80s it was about 50 50
My middle child is in about the middle of her PhD program in biology--there's some longer name than "biology" for her area of study, but I was a liberal arts guy without a clue about the nuance. At least in her field and where she's been, I don't see a wide gender gap. But we attended a lot of "STEM for girls" programs when she was younger. There was definitely an emphasis to get girls to pursue STEM majors.
I'm saying that there arent girls in math and engineering. They go into medical, biology, etc.
My older daughter is going to be a freshman at UA in Tucson this fall. Full ride academic scholarship for 4 years as long as she keeps a 3.5 so we? only have to pay room and board. She’ll be in pre-Med/Biology. Could have gone to more prestigious schools but she said she’d rather be one of the smarter ones in her program and also get out of the Portland rain. Basically admitted to being academically lazy but it’s her choice. She got a 34 composite on her ACT and straight As while in HS and is taking all college credit course now online so can’t really complain.
It's just her undergraduate degree. That's the right move. For kids who have good credentials who are willing to go out-of-state, schools are often willing to do a lot to build their geographic profiles. Congrats!
My oldest got that exact same offer at Pitt, but Pitt didn't offer a Bachelors of Music degree.
That was one of the points we all agreed on. If she goes to med school or graduate school, that’s where the school will matter more. In the meantime, getting a PAC-12 degree mostly paid for while playing in the sun all year sounds pretty good to her after being in her room taking classes since last March. Most of her good friends are also going out of state, which seems odd to me during a pandemic but maybe they are all just that sick of us parents after a year of limited outside the house options.
Re: grad school (by contrast to professional schools like Law or Medicine)
Get into a funded PhD program.
My youngest was just advised, correctly I think, that she should not consider grad school except as a funded PhD. Basically, get paid to research what interests you while looking at the career prospects. You aren't making big money, but you're not digging a deep hole for your credential either.
I note that my middle one has been almost entirely self-supporting in her program. Same experience for one of my nephews.
W/out question.
A PhD really sets you apart. They don't just hand those things out. But you're still in the situation where there are more and less lucrative things to do with it, and if you had to pay for 5 to 7 years of more school, the debt would be so big that your only option would be to whore out to the highest bidder.
My daughter was unsure about PhD, and her school doesn't offer a terminal masters in the PhD program if you want to opt out, so she is in the MS program for now, and even that was almost entirely paid for, thought it's less common.
So my son with a medium case of dyslexia, has been getting into some ok colleges. I didn't think his grades were good enough to get into many schools but I was wrong. I guess he wrote an amazing essay on his struggles with dyslexia which must be making a difference. What is your advice between Alabama, Ol Miss, Arizona and St Mary's (Moraga Ca)? He's waiting to hear from Oregon (sacrilege), ASU and one or two others.
So my son with a medium case of dyslexia, has been getting into some ok colleges. I didn't think his grades were good enough to get into many schools but I was wrong. I guess he wrote an amazing essay on his struggles with dyslexia which must be making a difference. What is your advice between Alabama, Ol Miss, Arizona and St Mary's (Moraga Ca)? He's waiting to hear from Oregon (sacrilege), ASU and one or two others.
Comments
My oldest got that exact same offer at Pitt, but Pitt didn't offer a Bachelors of Music degree, so we didn't take advantage of it. If he hadn't zeroed in on such a specific degree, it would have been an easy decision.
Always.
My goals for the sons are to not be lazy academically like I was (their mother was not which is I why she makes the big bucks); find a youth sport they love and start kicking ass at it; and develop a high emotional IQ.
We had to put the 6 yr old in private school to get caught up from this Covid bullshit and are doing tutoring 2 hrs a week on the side.
I am one who believes in the small college to begin with. I would push for St. Mary's. It's also a beautiful school. My daughter was recruited there for crew. It's a solid place.
And good on you to be thinking about this and honest about your kid and what he has to deal with. It's not a defect. It's just a difference that can be accommodated to allow what he has under the hood to be expressed in actual performance.
Get into a funded PhD program.
My youngest was just advised, correctly I think, that she should not consider grad school except as a funded PhD. Basically, get paid to research what interests you while looking at the career prospects. You aren't making big money, but you're not digging a deep hole for your credential either.
I note that my middle one has been almost entirely self-supporting in her program. Same experience for one of my nephews.
A PhD really sets you apart. They don't just hand those things out. But you're still in the situation where there are more and less lucrative things to do with it, and if you had to pay for 5 to 7 years of more school, the debt would be so big that your only option would be to whore out to the highest bidder.
My daughter was unsure about PhD, and her school doesn't offer a terminal masters in the PhD program if you want to opt out, so she is in the MS program for now, and even that was almost entirely paid for, thought it's less common.
Too much hot pussy is a thing at ole Miss.