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Drunken Ramblings: Show Me on the Doll Where the Coach Touched You

13

Comments

  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,423 Founders Club
  • TierbsHsotBoobsTierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.

    Any fuckable redheads?
    If you didn't know that Injuns sell fireworks close to every res in the US, then I can't help you. The chinks make them, and the wagon burners sell them.
    Great quoting as always
  • whlinderwhlinder Member Posts: 4,739 Standard Supporter
    You know who else drives Jeeps?

    Rich Middle aged white men.
  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,423 Founders Club

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.

    Any fuckable redheads?
    If you didn't know that Injuns sell fireworks close to every res in the US, then I can't help you. The chinks make them, and the wagon burners sell them.
    Great quoting as always
    Slept for 5 hours only to wake up and verify I suck.
  • pawzpawz Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 20,779 Founders Club

    Swaye said:

    Normally I am getting up at this time. I still haven't gone to bed yet. We were leaving the rich fag party at 2AM and I had too much to drink (go figure) so I let CLS drive my bad ass Jeep home. About two miles from her house she hits a patch of black ice and parks it in a ditch. By park I mean wedges the front end into a natural cut drainage ditch three foot deep. I was high centered for fucks sake and this thing has a 4 inch lift and 35's. Jesus woman. It's like 5 degrees out with snow and ice everywhere and I am out winching my Jeep out of a ditch at 3 in the morning drunk. Used some rich guys tree to strap to and then made huge tire marks all over his yard, so that part was rewarding. After I get us unstuck she asks for the keys. Laugh out fucking loud. I drove her home mildly drunk, screwed her real quick even though she was miffed, and just got home. Sober as a judge now, but Christ.

    And another thing, I love this new thing CLS has going. Since we aren't "exclusive" anymore, she won't let me sleep over now. Normally I am all over the "I'll fuck you and leave" plan, but it's fucking 5 degrees out and 5AM! This rich bitch is getting to be more trouble than she is worth. I'm going to bed soon. Happy fucking New Year.

    I hate to break it to you, my red brother - but CLS has a Mexican on the side. Those fuckers get up early. She wants you out so the brownskin can stop by for some ai-yi-yi, ariba,ariba on the way to the Home Depot parking lot.

    * porking lot
  • dfleadflea Member Posts: 7,233
    Swaye said:

    Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.

    lol

    You could be from Shelton.
  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Member Posts: 26,888
    That's cool. I said fuck it this year and stayed in

  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,423 Founders Club
    dflea said:

    Swaye said:

    Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.

    lol

    You could be from Shelton.
    I'm just going to go ahead and take that as a compliment.
  • RaceBannonRaceBannon Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 105,458 Founders Club
    dflea said:

    Swaye said:

    Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.

    lol

    You could be from Shelton.
    The special honor guard guy pre game was from Shelton
  • USMChawkUSMChawk Member Posts: 1,796
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.

    Any fuckable redheads?
    If you didn't know that Injuns sell fireworks close to every res in the US, then I can't help you. The chinks make them, and the wagon burners sell them.
    Sadly, it took me too long to put that together so I couldn’t go back and edit. I also can’t figure out how to post a gif. This new year isn’t working out for me.

    On the bright side, I know how to quote properly.

  • tenndawgtenndawg Member Posts: 1,161
    USMChawk said:

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.

    Any fuckable redheads?
    If you didn't know that Injuns sell fireworks close to every res in the US, then I can't help you. The chinks make them, and the wagon burners sell them.
    Sadly, it took me too long to put that together so I couldn’t go back and edit. I also can’t figure out how to post a gif. This new year isn’t working out for me.

    On the bright side, I know how to quote properly.

    We can't wait to be impressed by your bleach drinking prowess...

    Dainty fags sip it from a 16 ounce measuring cup, but the real men among us guzzle straight from the plastic container
  • Bad_MotherDuckerBad_MotherDucker Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 1,321 Swaye's Wigwam
    Swaye said:

    Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.

    Nice survival skills. Do me a favor next time and leave an upper decker for the faggy hosts. TIA
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