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Drunken Ramblings: Show Me on the Doll Where the Coach Touched You
Swaye
Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,739 
Yeah. Um. Ok. Welp. Uh. Fuck.
Watched the game until midway through the 2nd quarter with you fags and participated in the game thread. Was supposed to go over to Dirty Red's place after the game, but Brownsocks had me punching and throwing random shit in my house so I thought I should leave early. Text DR and tell her I'm coming over early. She texts back and says "bring lube." Not sure if about to have major fun, or get pegged.
Get to her place and tell her I want to check in on the gayme. When I left it was 28-14, but we looked like @jhfstyle24 's ass after NOLA. Who knew, we made it a gayme. I have no idea how, because I was driving over to DR's and psyching myself up for getting beaten with barnyard implements or trying to defend my butthole from a cucumber. Watch through to the end, see us lose, and sort of say "meh." I was angry during the first half. By the second half I just accepted the reality.
Here's some random "what I think I think" thoughts.
1) People kept calling Pedo State elite. Maybe my definition of elite needs to be adjusted, but they don't seem elite to me. NY6 gaymes to me are for really good teams (except us - we are not *really* good). Elite teams are Clumpson, Oklahomo and Bama. CFP juggernauts. Really good teams are the rest that don't make the playoff, but win 10 gaymes and play in a real bowl - excluding any teams from the Pac-12.
2) Scheme vs. Talent. It's both you fuckholes. But, if you can't see that talent is what is affecting our scheme, then I can't help you and you should drink a gallon of keresone and then deep throat a road flare. Let me give you donkeys an example. We have no pass rush. I mean none. Zero. Zip. Nada. Scheme or talent? Both, but scheme is fuct because talent is fuct. We have no edge rushers at all because nobody ever recruited any. So, in an attempt to resolve this issue we try some blitz packages that don't work for fuckall. Why? We don't have good blitzing DB's yet. On and on it goes. Holes in talent are causing us to try to find schemes that will work, but last night they weren't. Credit to Franklin and Pedo. They knew our weaknesses and where they could get schematic advantages that we didn't have the personnel to respond to, and played to them. We had nobody on our roster that we could counter with. Get better players, and then you don't have to scheme around Brownsocks, lousy OL play, BBK and no functioning Bucks on the entire roster.
3) We should be pissed at Pete and thankful for Pete all at the same time. Pissed that he hired and retained fuckholes like Strausser and Pease that put us in this position, but happy we have such a good coach in general. A lesser coach and staff would have lost by 40 last night. Book it. Nick Saban loses that game 8 out of 10 times on a neutral field with those rosters. They are just bigger, stronger, faster, blacker (can we please find some more black lineman not named Nick Harris) and better than us.
4) Brownsox. It's been beaten to death but I still need to say this team will never win anything of note with him as the QB. We need a non-faggy looking McSorley. Someone who is game. Has some awareness and pocket presence. Most importantly, we need someone with huge swinging balls and something other than limp pasta for an arm. Sox has never been that guy, and it is super obvious he never will be. He has three years of starts under his belt. He may get better next year, but he isn't going to grow balls. Like @iDawg said, we get to wait 2 years before we have a shot at something legit. Great. Thanks Smiff (see talent argument above) you little rapey looking fuckbag.
5) Extremely disappointing that back to back 10 win seasons yielded nothing. Nada. Well, a Pac-12 crown, but 50 cents and that will get you a cup of coffee. NOGAF about conference titles. All anyone ever remembers is big bowl wins. We have a Peach Bowl loss and a Fiesta Bowl loss to show for our best seasons since 2001. Splendid. Fuck everything.
6) I agree with those that think this years recruiting class is the start of turning this around. We need to string 3 more together just like it and then you are at a Clumpson talent level and really ready to make some noise. Next year was a guaranteed flameout anyway with Sox under center, so fine. Maybe some of this years class will be in the two deeps when that downsy fuck is gone and the magic can finally start happening. 2020 might be special.
7) Just as I surmised and @DerekJohnson proved the Pedo State fans are the worst (actually Notre Dame fans are still the worst but meh). They all rushed over here to sign up after winning to do what they were scared to do for a month. That some faggy ass weak shit. Credit to the couple Pedo Staters who actually made a few posts here and took their boy rape medicine BEFORE the game was decided. They are entitled, in fact encouraged, to talk shit. Those late comer donkeys totally fit the child rapist mold. Look for something weaker then pounce. NAMBLA faggots. Want to discuss? Pick any 7-11 in northern Virginia and I will wear my best pair of fag wafflers to stomp a mudhole in your ass.
8) I am very upset that the off-season natty is in jeopardy because we all know Sox is coming back, there will be no competition, and there is no chance he gets any better. NSIAO.
Anyway, back to better things. DR had no super Molly, which is probably okay because I wouldn't be typing this up right now if she had. She did have some weed. We smoked a little. Then played cowboys and indians. Naked. Indians won. Turns out the lube wasn't for me getting pegged, but her. Ride Red Throbber ride!
Watched the game until midway through the 2nd quarter with you fags and participated in the game thread. Was supposed to go over to Dirty Red's place after the game, but Brownsocks had me punching and throwing random shit in my house so I thought I should leave early. Text DR and tell her I'm coming over early. She texts back and says "bring lube." Not sure if about to have major fun, or get pegged.
Get to her place and tell her I want to check in on the gayme. When I left it was 28-14, but we looked like @jhfstyle24 's ass after NOLA. Who knew, we made it a gayme. I have no idea how, because I was driving over to DR's and psyching myself up for getting beaten with barnyard implements or trying to defend my butthole from a cucumber. Watch through to the end, see us lose, and sort of say "meh." I was angry during the first half. By the second half I just accepted the reality.
Here's some random "what I think I think" thoughts.
1) People kept calling Pedo State elite. Maybe my definition of elite needs to be adjusted, but they don't seem elite to me. NY6 gaymes to me are for really good teams (except us - we are not *really* good). Elite teams are Clumpson, Oklahomo and Bama. CFP juggernauts. Really good teams are the rest that don't make the playoff, but win 10 gaymes and play in a real bowl - excluding any teams from the Pac-12.
2) Scheme vs. Talent. It's both you fuckholes. But, if you can't see that talent is what is affecting our scheme, then I can't help you and you should drink a gallon of keresone and then deep throat a road flare. Let me give you donkeys an example. We have no pass rush. I mean none. Zero. Zip. Nada. Scheme or talent? Both, but scheme is fuct because talent is fuct. We have no edge rushers at all because nobody ever recruited any. So, in an attempt to resolve this issue we try some blitz packages that don't work for fuckall. Why? We don't have good blitzing DB's yet. On and on it goes. Holes in talent are causing us to try to find schemes that will work, but last night they weren't. Credit to Franklin and Pedo. They knew our weaknesses and where they could get schematic advantages that we didn't have the personnel to respond to, and played to them. We had nobody on our roster that we could counter with. Get better players, and then you don't have to scheme around Brownsocks, lousy OL play, BBK and no functioning Bucks on the entire roster.
3) We should be pissed at Pete and thankful for Pete all at the same time. Pissed that he hired and retained fuckholes like Strausser and Pease that put us in this position, but happy we have such a good coach in general. A lesser coach and staff would have lost by 40 last night. Book it. Nick Saban loses that game 8 out of 10 times on a neutral field with those rosters. They are just bigger, stronger, faster, blacker (can we please find some more black lineman not named Nick Harris) and better than us.
4) Brownsox. It's been beaten to death but I still need to say this team will never win anything of note with him as the QB. We need a non-faggy looking McSorley. Someone who is game. Has some awareness and pocket presence. Most importantly, we need someone with huge swinging balls and something other than limp pasta for an arm. Sox has never been that guy, and it is super obvious he never will be. He has three years of starts under his belt. He may get better next year, but he isn't going to grow balls. Like @iDawg said, we get to wait 2 years before we have a shot at something legit. Great. Thanks Smiff (see talent argument above) you little rapey looking fuckbag.
5) Extremely disappointing that back to back 10 win seasons yielded nothing. Nada. Well, a Pac-12 crown, but 50 cents and that will get you a cup of coffee. NOGAF about conference titles. All anyone ever remembers is big bowl wins. We have a Peach Bowl loss and a Fiesta Bowl loss to show for our best seasons since 2001. Splendid. Fuck everything.
6) I agree with those that think this years recruiting class is the start of turning this around. We need to string 3 more together just like it and then you are at a Clumpson talent level and really ready to make some noise. Next year was a guaranteed flameout anyway with Sox under center, so fine. Maybe some of this years class will be in the two deeps when that downsy fuck is gone and the magic can finally start happening. 2020 might be special.
7) Just as I surmised and @DerekJohnson proved the Pedo State fans are the worst (actually Notre Dame fans are still the worst but meh). They all rushed over here to sign up after winning to do what they were scared to do for a month. That some faggy ass weak shit. Credit to the couple Pedo Staters who actually made a few posts here and took their boy rape medicine BEFORE the game was decided. They are entitled, in fact encouraged, to talk shit. Those late comer donkeys totally fit the child rapist mold. Look for something weaker then pounce. NAMBLA faggots. Want to discuss? Pick any 7-11 in northern Virginia and I will wear my best pair of fag wafflers to stomp a mudhole in your ass.
8) I am very upset that the off-season natty is in jeopardy because we all know Sox is coming back, there will be no competition, and there is no chance he gets any better. NSIAO.
Anyway, back to better things. DR had no super Molly, which is probably okay because I wouldn't be typing this up right now if she had. She did have some weed. We smoked a little. Then played cowboys and indians. Naked. Indians won. Turns out the lube wasn't for me getting pegged, but her. Ride Red Throbber ride!
Comments
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Red Devil speak with forked tongue (I see what I did there !!!)Swaye said:Turns out the lube wasn't for me getting pegged, but her. Ride Red Throbber ride!
You left out the part about the gobs of lube softening the Purple Crochet to where she had to use a rolling pin to try and push it up your discipline hole, and the yarn started to unravel...
C'mon DWAG, that was all any of us wanted to hear about...the real drunken Coke snorting Swaye would have told the tale with pride - 2017 out with a whimper
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At least you got raped by a cucumber......We had to sit through that fukin travesty and watch Sox slowly and painfully separate our testicles. FY.FDR.FCLS.FME
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To be fair I am going to a New Years Eve party with CLS tonight, so there could be some hijinxs afoot later. Maybe I will still get that cucumber pegging.tenndawg said:
Red Devil speak with forked tongue (I see what I did there !!!)Swaye said:Turns out the lube wasn't for me getting pegged, but her. Ride Red Throbber ride!
You left out the part about the gobs of lube softening the Purple Crochet to where she had to use a rolling pin to try and push it up your discipline hole, and the yarn started to unravel...
C'mon DWAG, that was all any of us wanted to hear about...the real drunken Coke snorting Swaye would have told the tale with pride - 2017 out with a whimper -
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I'd make shower babies with you.TierbsHsotBoobs said:@Swaye is a better poster than anyone else here.
Simple fact, case closed, end of discussion. -
BRB, YOSwaye said:
I'd make shower babies with you.TierbsHsotBoobs said:@Swaye is a better poster than anyone else here.
Simple fact, case closed, end of discussion. -
So are either DR or CLS a DDY 3 or are they high 2s?
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Can you at least drop your white privilege for one day and respect @Swaye’s people by saying NTD, BB?TierbsHsotBoobs said:
BRB, YOSwaye said:
I'd make shower babies with you.TierbsHsotBoobs said:@Swaye is a better poster than anyone else here.
Simple fact, case closed, end of discussion. -
It's day one of the Yankoff era.CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:
Can you at least drop your white privilege for one day and respect @Swaye’s people by saying NTD, BB?TierbsHsotBoobs said:
BRB, YOSwaye said:
I'd make shower babies with you.TierbsHsotBoobs said:@Swaye is a better poster than anyone else here.
Simple fact, case closed, end of discussion. -
What is a fag waffler
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Fair poont but you can still mix it up with a NTD, YO or was it not enough for you that @Swaye's people had their land stolen by white devils like you?TierbsHsotBoobs said:
It's day one of the Yankoff era.CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:
Can you at least drop your white privilege for one day and respect @Swaye’s people by saying NTD, BB?TierbsHsotBoobs said:
BRB, YOSwaye said:
I'd make shower babies with you.TierbsHsotBoobs said:@Swaye is a better poster than anyone else here.
Simple fact, case closed, end of discussion. -
DR is a high 2, just a normal girl but good looking with a killer body and a desire to fuck all the time. CLS 3 is also good with big tits and ass, but comes from MAJOR money, which gives her a 3.YellowSnow said:So are either DR or CLS a DDY 3 or are they high 2s?
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You are my favorite whiteCFetters_Nacho_Lover said:
Fair poont but you can still mix it up with a NTD, YO or was it not enough for you that @Swaye's people had their land stolen by white devils like you?TierbsHsotBoobs said:
It's day one of the Yankoff era.CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:
Can you at least drop your white privilege for one day and respect @Swaye’s people by saying NTD, BB?TierbsHsotBoobs said:
BRB, YOSwaye said:
I'd make shower babies with you.TierbsHsotBoobs said:@Swaye is a better poster than anyone else here.
Simple fact, case closed, end of discussion.persondevil. -
Any type of motorcycle or combat boot with a waffle sole.Pitchfork51 said:What is a fag waffler
To "fag waffle" is to knock a loser queer Pedo State fan onto the ground and then start tap dancing on their face until it leaves a nice waffle imprint with the aforementioned boots.
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Difficulty: CLS is high maintenance.Swaye said:
DR is a high 2, just a normal girl but good looking with a killer body and a desire to fuck all the time. CLS 3 is also good with big tits and ass, but comes from MAJOR money, which gives her a 3.YellowSnow said:So are either DR or CLS a DDY 3 or are they high 2s?
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This is true. DR is your typical late 20's party girl. Hot, likes recreational drugs and getting plowed. Low maintenance and doesn't want anything from you other than dong and a good time. CLS is rich, and cool, but demands fondue parties, country club outings, and linen searches.TierbsHsotBoobs said:
Difficulty: CLS is high maintenance.Swaye said:
DR is a high 2, just a normal girl but good looking with a killer body and a desire to fuck all the time. CLS 3 is also good with big tits and ass, but comes from MAJOR money, which gives her a 3.YellowSnow said:So are either DR or CLS a DDY 3 or are they high 2s?
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More like she's into projects as opposed to high maintenance.TierbsHsotBoobs said:
Difficulty: CLS is high maintenance.Swaye said:
DR is a high 2, just a normal girl but good looking with a killer body and a desire to fuck all the time. CLS 3 is also good with big tits and ass, but comes from MAJOR money, which gives her a 3.YellowSnow said:So are either DR or CLS a DDY 3 or are they high 2s?
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AbundanceYellowSnow said:
More like she's into projects as opposed to high maintenance.TierbsHsotBoobs said:
Difficulty: CLS is high maintenance.Swaye said:
DR is a high 2, just a normal girl but good looking with a killer body and a desire to fuck all the time. CLS 3 is also good with big tits and ass, but comes from MAJOR money, which gives her a 3.YellowSnow said:So are either DR or CLS a DDY 3 or are they high 2s?
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Let us not forget the sage wisdom advice of Jagger & Richards as espoused in Hang Fire:
"You know marrying money is a full time job,
I don't need the aggravation I'm a lazy slob"
And while you may understandably doubt Mick - Keef don't never lie
(In Dirty Harry voice): Do you wanna work hard ? Do you want a full time job ? Well do ya Punk ?
Didn't think so... -
Truth 10 Dog. Keef don't never fucking lie.tenndawg said:Let us not forget the sage wisdom advice of Jagger & Richards as espoused in Hang Fire:
"You know marrying money is a full time job,
I don't need the aggravation I'm a lazy slob"
And while you may understandably doubt Mick - Keef don't never lie
(In Dirty Harry voice): Do you wanna work hard ? Do you want a full time job ? Well do ya Punk ?
Didn't think so... -
Update to off-season natty: I honest to shit had no idea Gaines said he was coming back when I wrote this. Was talking shit and smoking weed with DR when that news dropped. Also just learned Gaskin is 50/50. If Gaines and Gaskin come back, off season natty is within reach.
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Point related to above post: If Gaskin comes back, does anyone think we could run the entire offense out of the Wildcat with Gaskin and ISIS and just shitcan Sox?
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doogitup.gifSwaye said:Update to off-season natty: I honest to shit had no idea Gaines said he was coming back when I wrote this. Was talking shit and smoking weed with DR when that news dropped. Also just learned Gaskin is 50/50. If Gaines and Gaskin come back, off season natty is within reach.
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What is a fag waffler
I take it one is unable to stomp fags while wearing suede ankle boots huhSwaye said:
Any type of motorcycle or combat boot with a waffle sole.Pitchfork51 said:What is a fag waffler
To "fag waffle" is to knock a loser queer Pedo State fan onto the ground and then start tap dancing on their face until it leaves a nice waffle imprint with the aforementioned boots.
Well fuck. -
Why am i reading this? Is my life so pathetic that I am willing to come here and listen to Swayenovich 's self embellished conquests over girls whom have dropped from *3 and 4* to *2 and 3* on his own admission!? This Is the kind of shit that gets you reamed by a Midwest country boy on Saturday afternoon wearing purple and gold in a Pennetration State parking lot. We need *4 and *5 tightends, Swayenovich. Get this weak ass drible out of here until you cum back with real talent. DIAFF
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It's the DDY metric, not stars. HTHdannarc said:Why am i reading this? Is my life so pathetic that I am willing to come here and listen to Swayenovich 's self embellished conquests over girls whom have dropped from *3 and 4* to *2 and 3* on his own admission!? This Is the kind of shit that gets you reamed by a Midwest country boy on Saturday afternoon wearing purple and gold in a Pennetration State parking lot. We need *4 and *5 tightends, Swayenovich. Get this weak ass drible out of here until you cum back with real talent. DIAFF
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Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.
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Any fuckable redheads?Swaye said:Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.
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Culturally insensitive? Are you Chinese as well?Swaye said:Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.
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Show them real fireworks - napalm - with gasoline and styrofoam. There must be a doghouse or shed you can light up in the yard.Swaye said:Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.
