This Bored Is Ruining Me

EsophagealFeces

I can't even watch TV without seeing HHB acronyms. Every time I see a car commercial that talks about it being an IIHS top safety pick, I think of IPIIHB. FYFMFE.

PostGameOrangeSlices

Learn the fucking difference between real life and the internet.

Or dont.

dongman

Tell me about it, everywhere I go I see Sven. Haven't gone a day without breaking down.

MisterEm

Sound like you should stick around for a bit and avoid the Road Kill list.

RaceBannon

In explaining my resolve on a deal today I said I was a fucking Buddhist monk in Vietnam willing to set myself on fire and take everyone with me.

It got awfully quiet.

UWerentThereMan

I lurk my email inbox- only respond to the easy emails and look at the email signature pictures from the lady names.

Fire_Marshall_Bill

It's already ruined me.

dongman

RaceBannon said:

In explaining my resolve on a deal today I said I was a fucking Buddhist monk in Vietnam willing to set myself on fire and take everyone with me.

It got awfully quiet.

You were literally ready to diaf. Did you seal the deal? Did you have to use Patron and Percocet?

DerekJohnson

RaceBannon said:

In explaining my resolve on a deal today I said I was a fucking Buddhist monk in Vietnam willing to set myself on fire and take everyone with me.

It got awfully quiet.

I never thought you'd deviate from your threats to club a baby seal to make a better deal

PurpleReign

I would club the baby seal, then set it on fire and dance around it like Swaye on a weekend bender.

dhdawg

every time I read anything with the word "reasons" in it, I smile

dnc

The Pit ruined me long ago, this bored just ensures I am never fixed.

If I tried to list all the ways I'm fucked in real life because of this bored puppy would poont out I have too much tim on my well manicured hands, so I'll just say anytime anything involves lemons or parties I go to a dark place.

PurpleBaze

I was staying in a hotel the other day and the bars of soap were citrus mint scented. I chuckled. Each day I see at least one thing that reminds me of this bored and you degenerates.

Fenderbender123

This board saved the word 'faggot' from leaving my vocabulary since people rarely say it IRL anymore. Now I'm proud to say I'm still saying faggot IRL, much to the shock and awe of my co-workers.

In fact, I think it's catching on again...which kinda sucks because the more people hate that word the more satisfying it is to say it.

CFetters_Nacho_Lover

dnc said:

The Pit ruined me long ago, this bored just ensures I am never fixed.

If I tried to list all the ways I'm fucked in real life because of this bored puppy would poont out I have too much tim on my well manicured hands, so I'll just say anytime anything involves lemons or parties I go to a dark place.

You go to a dark place. I say NTD, BB.

RaccoonHarry

Fenderbender123 said:

This board saved the word 'faggot' from leaving my vocabulary since people rarely say it IRL anymore. Now I'm proud to say I'm still saying faggot IRL, much to the shock and awe of my co-workers.

In fact, I think it's catching on again...which kinda sucks because the more people hate that word the more satisfying it is to say it.

And if ever a word was worth saving faggot tops the list. I usually opt for the shortened version, fag, but I like having the choice. Either one greatly offends my ultra liberal Portland friends, though deep down inside I suspect they're actually jealous. Fags.

Swaye

I drive around in my Orkin van and go on service calls. If nobody is home when I ring the doorbell, I skip spraying, stick the "We were here and sprayed your shit" note on the door so I can get paid anyway. Then I drive the van to the nearest parking lot, pull out the company issued ipad, and read this shit hole until the next service call. LRR all fucking day.

So, this place has improved my life beyond measure.

Swaye

Story addendum. I'm in a parking lot right now reading this, but it looks kind of rapey, so I am moving on.

Swaye

New parking lot. New attitude.

dnc

Swaye said:

Story addendum. I'm in a parking lot right now reading this, but it looks kind of rapey, so I am moving on.

Autzen?

Fenderbender123

Swaye said:

New parking lot. New attitude.

Sounds like you're ready to rumble.