PM to BackthePack (OFFICIAL Advice Thread)

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  backthepack Member Posts: 19,801

  

  October 2017

  Lol what?

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  DeepSeaZ Member Posts: 3,901

  

  October 2017

  I know I am.

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  JaWarrenJaHooker Member Posts: 1,989

  

  October 2017

  backthepack said:

  Lol what?

  This is good advice just remember it

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  DerekJohnson Administrator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 60,481

  

  

  October 2017

  Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).
  
  ...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.
  
  A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.
  
  Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

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  oregonblitzkrieg Member Posts: 15,288

  

  October 2017

  

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  DerekJohnson Administrator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 60,481

  

  

  October 2017

  

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  pawz Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 18,951

  

  

  October 2017 edited October 2017

  DerekJohnson said:

  Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).
  
  ...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.
  
  A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.
  
  Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

  Can't flag a mooderator's poast for not shit-poasting the appropriate horseshittingongirlshead.gif
  
  
  .

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  Swaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,086

  

  

  October 2017 edited October 2017

  Let me give you some more advice that will seriously help your life...
  
  1) If you go down on it and it tastes like a penny, stop licking. You might have AIDS.
  2) Might seem like a good idea to earn your red wings one day. It's not.
  3) Even if you are white collar, learn how to use tools and fix shit. It might save your life one day.
  4) Get in a real fist fight at least once in your life. You learn a lot about yourself.
  5) If you dream big, you'll probably fail. That's okay. Turn to drinking instead.
  6) If you ever do anything super embarrassing or humiliating, immediately act like you meant to do it. Anything else makes you look like a weak fag.
  7) Never weed eat in shorts. See number 6 above.
  8) Go on a real hunt and kill something with some regularity. You aren't a man until you can kill, clean and cook your own food. This includes building the fire to cook it on. Trust me on this.
  9) Jail is fine, but never go to prison. Jail gives you street cred. Prison gives you anal rape.
  10) Buy and own an old Jeep. This step will help you achieve steps 3 and 8 above.
  
  Live by that and you will destroy much vulva and have a pretty good life. Ignore it and you will suck or become a queer. In either case you are sucking.

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  Swaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,086

  

  

  October 2017

  Special note on number 7. Get a gas powered weed eater that you could cut a car in half with if you needed. People who buy plug in weed eaters are either losers, or people with a small yard, which means they are failures. Your lawn implements should scare people.

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  Dennis_DeYoung Member Posts: 14,754

  

  October 2017

  My advice is this: you are a useless loser so do us a favor and do the needful with Babushka. Not death OF COURSE, but you get the point.
  
  Take whatever sentence your autistic ass has coming to you and enjoy your life being a retard in prison. You’ll never get any pussy so try to make an erotic association with cock and get good at licking balls. Dudes like this.
  
  Eat ass like a champ and learn to please your prison owner, happily.

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  PurpleThrobber Member Posts: 42,176

  

  October 2017

  Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
  
  

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  PurpleBaze Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 29,495

  

  

  October 2017

  Never blame the bitch for the bad taste in your mouth. Just put on a brushin', a smile, and move the fuck on.

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  TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680

  

  October 2017

  DerekJohnson said:

  Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).
  
  ...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.
  
  A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.
  
  Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

  You know why

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  TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680

  

  October 2017

  Swaye said:

  Let me give you some more advice that will seriously help your life...
  
  1) If you go down on it and it tastes like a penny, stop licking. You might have AIDS.
  2) Might seem like a good idea to earn your red wings one day. It's not.
  3) Even if you are white collar, learn how to use tools and fix shit. It might save your life one day.
  4) Get in a real fist fight at least once in your life. You learn a lot about yourself.
  5) If you dream big, you'll probably fail. That's okay. Turn to drinking instead.
  6) If you ever do anything super embarrassing or humiliating, immediately act like you meant to do it. Anything else makes you look like a weak fag.
  7) Never weed eat in shorts. See number 6 above.
  8) Go on a real hunt and kill something with some regularity. You aren't a man until you can kill, clean and cook your own food. This includes building the fire to cook it on. Trust me on this.
  9) Jail is fine, but never go to prison. Jail gives you street cred. Prison gives you anal rape.
  10) Buy and own an old Jeep. This step will help you achieve steps 3 and 8 above.
  
  Live by that and you will destroy much vulva and have a pretty good life. Ignore it and you will suck or become a queer. In either case you are sucking.

  Your silence about fondue speaks volumes

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  Baseman Member Posts: 12,365

  

  October 2017 edited October 2017

  Dennis_DeYoung said:

  My advice is this: you are a useless loser so do us a favor and do the needful with Babushka. Not death OF COURSE, but you get the point.
  
  Take whatever sentence your autistic ass has coming to you and enjoy your life being a retard in prison. You’ll never get any pussy so try to make an erotic association with cock and get good at licking balls. Dudes like this.
  
  Eat ass like a champ and learn to please your prison owner, happily.

  Sage advice

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  YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 34,234

  

  

  October 2017

  Swaye said:

  Special note on number 7. Get a gas powered weed eater that you could cut a car in half with if you needed. People who buy plug in weed eaters are either losers, or people with a small yard, which means they are failures. Your lawn implements should scare people.

  #7 hurtful and chinsensitive. At least my lawnmower uses gas.

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  CFetters_Nacho_Lover Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 29,136

  

  

  October 2017

  backthepack said:

  Lol what?

  He’s talking about one of your 2 dads & your mom. HTH

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  CFetters_Nacho_Lover Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 29,136

  

  

  October 2017

  DerekJohnson said:

  Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).
  
  ...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.
  
  A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.
  
  Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

  Story time with Uncle Stalin should be a regular feature on the front page.

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  AZDuck Member Posts: 15,381

  

  October 2017

  DerekJohnson said:

  Also some good advice I just gave to Khaleesi two days ago as she announced she's moving back to Oregon. (Of note, she's 22 years old).
  
  ...A bird is freezing to death in a field. It is so cold it cannot move. A cow comes along and takes a dump on him. The warmth of the dung thaws him out and saves his life. The bird is happy. It begins to chirp and sing.
  
  A cat is nearby and hears the chirping. It digs the bird out of the dung and kills it.
  
  Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out is your friend.

  Flagged WTFd for no pics of @Khaleesi

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  yobates Member Posts: 90

  

  October 2017

  here's some good advice from Ronnie and Toni
  
  gather the wind
  though the wind wont help you fly at all
  your back's to the wall
  chain the sun and it tears away
  and it breaks you as you run, you run, you run
  
  behind the smile there's danger and a promise to be told
  you'll never get old
  life's fantasy, to be locked away
  and still to think you're free, you're free, you're free
  
  so live for today
  tomorrow never comes
  
  die young, die young
  can't you see the writing on the wall
  die young, gonna die young
  someone stopped the fall

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