New Hardcore Husky advice column
Comments
-
Dear WABIB,Doog_de_Jour said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,
I like this boy. A lot. I upvote all of his posts on social media, and I gave him my phone number. I even started flirting with another sports writer to make him jealous. Why hasn’t he called? Am I not pretty enough? What am I doing wrong?
Signed,
Without a Beau in Bellevue
My dear girl, there are two things a woman should never chase: men and drinks. Any man worth your time will pursue you. It’s clear this writer is not interested. -
Dear UTOARUTWMTDIG,CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,
I know another person already discussed an Uber driver but I'm concerned for my safety when I call Uber. I believe in the separation of church and state and also in the separation of religion and ride sharing but my driver keeps repeating Allah Akbar. When I asked him to stop, he just says death to infidels. Am I the infidel in this situation? Should I consider using @tap1thur29weretaken ride share platform instead?
Uber tolerant of all religions unless they want me to die in Gorst
You should thank your lucky stars anyone willingly lets you get into their vehicle. If the driver says or does anything that offends you, ask them to stop, exit the car, and give them a one star rating on the app. -
Dear DLAPAACP,CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,
I'm looking for a hard hitting Christmas gift selection for the Mrs. Can you think of anything?
Sincerely,
good looks, a personality and a concrete peeper.
While I doubt you’re actually married, I will say most women will never turn down expensive jewelry, a fashionable designer handbag, or cunninglingus. But go with whatever fits your budget. -
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders ,
Since the lockdown, I've become obsessed with homemade donuts. At this point, I've probably eaten my own weight in these greasy delights. It's gotten to the point that I need the smell of hot lard to achieve arousal. Do you think this is a problem?
Frying in the Fryelands -
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
My doctor said to stop smoking and drinking. Can I get a second opinion? -
Dear SpoonieLuv,SpoonieLuv said:@HardcoreAnnLanders for years I’ve tried pick up line suggestions found by the pussyslayers on this bored but have ‘struck out’ (baseball reference on a football board!
) every time. What am I doing wrong??
You clearly have no game and should certainly not seek advice on romance from a bunch of basement dwelling losers. I would avoid using any pick up lines in the future - in fact, maybe you should avoid trying to pickup anyone entirely. -
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
I've organized a few Hardcore Husky Orgies, and the only people to come are @Yousef_#1UberDriver @alopeciadawg and @CFetters_Nacho_Lover This led to some disappointment as Yousef was easily too hairy for alopecia, and alopecia not hair enough for Yousef. Fetters was there for the complimentary nacho bar and pegging tutorial. How can I garner more interest for the Hardcore Husky Orgy™?
Sincerely
I should have used water based lube during the tutorial -
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,
There's a notorious bully who frequents the same hobby board as me. He's usually nice to me, but sometimes I see him picking on some of the bigger retards of the board and it makes me uncomfortable. How do I go about telling him that he should lay off these retards without making him dislike me and subsequently become the new victim of his bullying?
Sincerely,
Desperately Needing Counsel -
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,
The gas station is forcing me to go on assignment to the Covid dens of North Georgia. Should I quit and take a less respectable job like sales or get into that coding class at Bangalore Tech I’ve been hereing about? Or should I accept my fate and go get Covid at some Dukes of Hazzard bar?
Signed,
Mr. 93 Octane in Eugene -
Dear FITF,GrundleStiltzkin said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders ,
Since the lockdown, I've become obsessed with homemade donuts. At this point, I've probably eaten my own weight in these greasy delights. It's gotten to the point that I need the smell of hot lard to achieve arousal. Do you think this is a problem?
Frying in the Fryelands
Many people use wine, oysters, or a snort of cocaine off a hooker’s ass as aphrodisiacs. I don’t see why baked goods are any different. Olfactory stimuli can be powerful.
