Drunken Ramblings: Show Me on the Doll Where the Coach Touched You
Comments
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* porking lotPurpleThrobber said:
I hate to break it to you, my red brother - but CLS has a Mexican on the side. Those fuckers get up early. She wants you out so the brownskin can stop by for some ai-yi-yi, ariba,ariba on the way to the Home Depot parking lot.Swaye said:Normally I am getting up at this time. I still haven't gone to bed yet. We were leaving the rich fag party at 2AM and I had too much to drink (go figure) so I let CLS drive my bad ass Jeep home. About two miles from her house she hits a patch of black ice and parks it in a ditch. By park I mean wedges the front end into a natural cut drainage ditch three foot deep. I was high centered for fucks sake and this thing has a 4 inch lift and 35's. Jesus woman. It's like 5 degrees out with snow and ice everywhere and I am out winching my Jeep out of a ditch at 3 in the morning drunk. Used some rich guys tree to strap to and then made huge tire marks all over his yard, so that part was rewarding. After I get us unstuck she asks for the keys. Laugh out fucking loud. I drove her home mildly drunk, screwed her real quick even though she was miffed, and just got home. Sober as a judge now, but Christ.
And another thing, I love this new thing CLS has going. Since we aren't "exclusive" anymore, she won't let me sleep over now. Normally I am all over the "I'll fuck you and leave" plan, but it's fucking 5 degrees out and 5AM! This rich bitch is getting to be more trouble than she is worth. I'm going to bed soon. Happy fucking New Year. -
Finally, a minority willing to put in work rather than sitting around complaining their entitlements and benefits should be greater...Swaye said:Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.
You sir are an inspiration to the dispossessed snd downtrodden of the earth
They should put your visage on money -
lolSwaye said:Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.
You could be from Shelton. -
That's cool. I said fuck it this year and stayed in
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I'm just going to go ahead and take that as a compliment.dflea said:
lolSwaye said:Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.
You could be from Shelton. -
The special honor guard guy pre game was from Sheltondflea said:
lolSwaye said:Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.
You could be from Shelton. -
Sadly, it took me too long to put that together so I couldn’t go back and edit. I also can’t figure out how to post a gif. This new year isn’t working out for me.Swaye said:
If you didn't know that Injuns sell fireworks close to every res in the US, then I can't help you. The chinks make them, and the wagon burners sell them.TierbsHsotBoobs said:
Any fuckable redheads?Swaye said:Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.
On the bright side, I know how to quote properly.
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We can't wait to be impressed by your bleach drinking prowess...USMChawk said:
Sadly, it took me too long to put that together so I couldn’t go back and edit. I also can’t figure out how to post a gif. This new year isn’t working out for me.Swaye said:
If you didn't know that Injuns sell fireworks close to every res in the US, then I can't help you. The chinks make them, and the wagon burners sell them.TierbsHsotBoobs said:
Any fuckable redheads?Swaye said:Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.
On the bright side, I know how to quote properly.
Dainty fags sip it from a 16 ounce measuring cup, but the real men among us guzzle straight from the plastic container -
Drinking bleach defeats the purpose of owning guns. Besides, my wife will need the bleach to clean up the mess. If nothing else, I’m considerate.tenndawg said:
We can't wait to be impressed by your bleach drinking prowess...USMChawk said:
Sadly, it took me too long to put that together so I couldn’t go back and edit. I also can’t figure out how to post a gif. This new year isn’t working out for me.Swaye said:
If you didn't know that Injuns sell fireworks close to every res in the US, then I can't help you. The chinks make them, and the wagon burners sell them.TierbsHsotBoobs said:
Any fuckable redheads?Swaye said:Just showed up at a dumbass party with CLS and the idiot hosts want everyone to go outside to do fireworks. Aside from the fact it is culturally insensitive to ask me to watch fireworks, it's actually 12 degrees in northern Virginia right now. Rich white people suck so bad.
On the bright side, I know how to quote properly.
Dainty fags sip it from a 16 ounce measuring cup, but the real men among us guzzle straight from the plastic container
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Nice survival skills. Do me a favor next time and leave an upper decker for the faggy hosts. TIASwaye said:Here is the good news from last night. They had this fag party catered, and they had all kinds of trays of food. So, I stole an entire tray of little finger food enchiladas things and spirited them out to the Jeep when everyone was distracted watching the stupid ball. I even took the tray. Left them in the Jeep all night to freeze, just nuked a pile of them up and they are delicious. Thanks random white guy I'll never see again. Think I'll sell the tray on eBay.
