The "preseason" isn't really worth much analysis, we arent going to lose to @BSU with either a shitty QB, an inexperienced QB, or abundance this year, so we got that going for us. Rutgers, Idaho, and Svens fighting vikings provide a nice bumper crop of non conference wins to make the record seem better than it actually is.
Rutgers - W Idaho - W Svens NW Champs - W
Last year Arizona had the courtesy to not show up and stop the traditional mid season losing streak allowing UW to go 1-4 right in the middle of the season instead of 0-5. This year @ Arizona will be the first real test to see if the defense is the executioner or the prisoner on death row. Its at Arizona, but who gives a fuck, if UW is any good the defense should dominate and Gaskin should have 150+ yards and 3 TDs on the way to an easy win. Stanford is better and will continue to be better until proven otherwise, Mccaffery will run wild on the shit talking UW defense that hasnt seen any real competition since last November. Stanford has an ok coach and shitty fans but they are still a team made mostly of TUFF white liberal lineman that will kick your teeth in. We aren't winning at Oregon with our shit razzle dazzle pre snap motion offense, maybe next year we will run the football against them. Our babushka offense that makes no fucking sense will continue to put up shit numbers
@ Arizona - W Stanford - L @ Oregon - L
Bye (Bye week champs shirts will be available, nuff said on that)
The end of the season is almost as bad as the pre season. @Utah will be the hardest game and with former UW transfer and Seattle hurricane casualty String now QB for the Utes it becomes a revenge game we are likely to lose. Clean up all the teams that don't really belong in a "major power" conference and then beat a shit USC team at home that still has the stench of Cutty Sark on it and the season doesnt feel too bad.
Oregon State - W @ Utah - L @ Cal - W USC - W Arizona State - W @ WSU - W
6-3 in conference finally breaking the streak of 4-5/5-4!!!!!
9 - 3 Overall (Likely play in the National University Holiday Bowl against a shit Minnesota team so we probably finish 10-3)
Doogs cheer everywhere, because double digit wins are always special, even if I could drunkenly coach UW to wins against Rutgers, Idaho, Portland St., Oregon State, Cal, and WSU.
The season hinges on the defenses ability to back up the shit talking and the ability for @Swaye to sneak into Babushkas office and scalp him before the season starts. Given the lack instruction guides due to having no written language and the propensity for drunkenness I dont have high hopes for @Swaye's success.
As always, the Heat Death of the universe cant happen soon enough
This bored will have material for ages when I get arrested in Babushkas office after being found passed out naked with warpaint on my genitals and an axe with the words "This is for the Vanilla Hammer offense you fuck" written on the handle.
Someone please send care packages in care of King County Jail. TIA.
You should actually get arrested in Peterman's offense. It's his fault we even know who Babushka is outside of being a midget QB for the Boovs back in the day.
I was assuming if I broke into Peterman's office I would see Jen Cohen naked and that is not a vision I would want haunting me during my prison sentence.
I was dialed in last year ... so let's see how it goes this year
3-0 Non-conference ... please
W @ Arizona: win by double digits W vs Stanford: QB play will be a huge issue for the Tree W @ Oregon: they just won't be that good W vs Oregon St: they suck W @ Utah: will be a close game, don't think that they have the offense W @ Cal: Cal's going to be a disaster by the end of the year L vs USC: Welcome back to reality game for us W vs ASU: Bad weather game where ASU just wants to go home W @ Wazzu: Our defense is made for their offense
W vs PAC South Dreck: South winner will be lucky to be better than 8-4
L vs Bowl Game: No clue if that's Rose Bowl or National Semi ... but that will be by far the best team we play all year ... PAC is going to be dreck this year
Will end the year 12-2 primed to go on a very strong run in 2017
A Haiku:
Boinnnnng! This, all day long My sweats feel a disturbance The strap runeth tight
8-5 with either 4 or 5 conference wins. If we get to 5 conference wins, it will be incremental progress. The bowl loss won't matter, because who really cares about a minor bowl and we're building for next year. 5 conference wins in the toughest football conference named after an ocean is a big milestone for year 3 of a miracle worker. If we only win 4 in conference we can celebrate the milestone bowl win. Either way it will be a throwaway season and next year Jack Brownig will be an upperclassMAN. Woof!
Just enough to make the doogs happy. Just enough to get Babushka an undeserved extension. Not enough to keep me from setting myself ablaze jumping off the ship canal bridge.
I, uh... I guess you can't close poles here. So here's an image of the 73 who voted by the first day (though 11 of you are missing since Vanilla only shows 20 avatars for 10-3). Also, avatars will probably change more often than your panties, so this is probably pointless, but whatever.
Comments
Boinnnnng! This, all day long
My sweats feel a disturbance
The strap runeth tight
Which usually results in:
My belief is 10-2. I think they get Stanford on that Friday, then lose to the Zero's in Eugene. The other loss is either at Utah or SC here.