Could someone on this bored....

Swaye

...please make a synopsis thread on wtf happened yesterday. Like a fucking idiot doog I was checking my phone every 2 minutes to get the score....but I didn't see one play of the game, nor will I ever. So, I need the "why we are fucking useless" recap. I would prefer someone funny to give this.

Casino night bachelor party was great. I am still awake. Cocaine at about 4 AM to keep going. Fag groom gave up an hour ago so I am in his room on his shitty laptop putting animal porn on his computer that the bride will hopefully find after the wedding. I also banged a cocktail girl coming off shift at 2AM. So that was nice.

Cocktail girl > UW Football

Fuck Peterman. Anyone who loses at home to Cal is not the Coach we thought he was. I don't even need to see the game to know that.

For @TierbsHsotBoobs



I hope I got FBA so I never have to watch UW Football again. FML.

NeGgaPlEaSe

Harbaugh won going away

TierbsHsotBoobs

Utah plungered the Ducks.

Southerndawg

Babushka sucks. The O-line sucks. The offense sucks. Cal won.

Southerndawg

TierbsHsotBoobs said:

Utah plungered the Ducks.

Utah inserted multiple plungers using the plunger stacking method.

BallSacked

Doogs lost
But Oregons a dumpster fire
Spooge takes random Mexican kids to McDonald's, @NSA_Dawg true???

Now you're caught up.

Swaye

In a poor turn of events, the slut from last night has texted me 5 times in the last hour. Rookie mistake to give her my number. FML. Last text was "I know you are up, why won't you respond."

Someone please give me an update before I am stalked and killed by the drink girl.

Southerndawg

Swaye said:

In a poor turn of events, the slut from last night has texted me 5 times in the last hour. Rookie mistake to give her my number. FML. Last text was "I know you are up, why won't you respond."

Someone please give me an update before I am stalked and killed by the drink girl.

Rookie mistake, but easily recoverable. Have some hangover sex with her, and then set your phone to filter her number. Abundance.

Swaye

Southerndawg said:

Swaye said:

In a poor turn of events, the slut from last night has texted me 5 times in the last hour. Rookie mistake to give her my number. FML. Last text was "I know you are up, why won't you respond."

Someone please give me an update before I am stalked and killed by the drink girl.

Rookie mistake, but easily recoverable. Have some hangover sex with her, and then set your phone to filter her number. Abundance.

Good advice. Problem for me is the 2:15AM sex WAS hangover sex for me. I was falling down drunk by 8PM, and rallied late in the night. It was get off work sex for her. If I meet up with her again, she will go to clinger DEFCON 4. I am supposed to go some faggy brunch with all the lame assholes who passed out at 4AM in like an hour. If I can avoid her for three hours or so I am home free, headed back to Virginia, and filtering her number.

No reason to ever go to Baltimore again. Fuck this place.

MisterEm

PIIHB one more time, Swaye.

Do it for the boys.

Swaye

In another depressing turn of events, it just hit my drug addled brain that this will probably be the game, 3 years from now, that everyone cites as when they knew Peterman wasn't the guy. And I missed it. Fuck.

Swaye

MisterEm said:

PIIHB one more time, Swaye.

Do it for the boys.

Maybe I should just to take pictures of her tits and PM them to DJ. I have no doubt this broad would let me take pics of her doing pretty much anything. Which gives me an idea...NTD, going to buy plunger.

TierbsHsotBoobs

Swaye said:

In another depressing turn of events, it just hit my drug addled brain that this will probably be the game, 3 years from now, that everyone cites as when they knew Peterman wasn't the guy. And I missed it. Fuck.

That was last year's Stanford game.

Passion

5 turnovers. Key fumbles by WRs and Warshington.

Our defense caved on 3rd downs. Lack of pressure and poor coverage resulted in cal having a 50% 3rd down conversion rate. Incredibly high.

Horrible blocking by our o-line.

Browning bad decisions.

Babushka deserves a shoe in the bag...so does Kawasaki.

That's it.

Swaye

TierbsHsotBoobs said:

Swaye said:

In another depressing turn of events, it just hit my drug addled brain that this will probably be the game, 3 years from now, that everyone cites as when they knew Peterman wasn't the guy. And I missed it. Fuck.

That was last year's Stanford game.

If you recall I literally fell off my couch and blacked out somewhere around halftime of that one....so I guess I can "kind of" claim I knew he was a douchebag on that one. Curse my red hide.

Swaye

Passion said:

5 turnovers. Key fumbles by WRs and Warshington.

Our defense caved on 3rd downs. Lack of pressure and poor coverage resulted in cal having a 50% 3rd down conversion rate. Incredibly high.

Horrible blocking by our o-line.

Browning bad decisions.

Babushka deserves a shoe in the bag...so does Kawasaki.

That's it.

Passion comes through! You are in Virginia right? If this chick kills me, you can have my Jeep.

Swaye

Passion said:

5 turnovers. Key fumbles by WRs and Warshington.

Our defense caved on 3rd downs. Lack of pressure and poor coverage resulted in cal having a 50% 3rd down conversion rate. Incredibly high.

Horrible blocking by our o-line.

Browning bad decisions.

Babushka deserves a shoe in the bag...so does Kawasaki.

That's it.

One more question. I was pretty high on our secondary...was the poor coverage a result of the lack of pressure/time for Goff to find guys, or was it just poor coverage?

Southerndawg

Passion said:

5 turnovers. Key fumbles by WRs and Warshington.

Our defense caved on 3rd downs. Lack of pressure and poor coverage resulted in cal having a 50% 3rd down conversion rate. Incredibly high.

Horrible blocking by our o-line.

Browning bad decisions.

Babushka deserves a shoe in the bag...so does Kawasaki.

That's it.

The defense didn't lose the game. Turnovers, fucktarded play calling and fucktarded play by the offense did.

Fire_Marshall_Bill

Swaye said:

In a poor turn of events, the slut from last night has texted me 5 times in the last hour. Rookie mistake to give her my number. FML. Last text was "I know you are up, why won't you respond."

Someone please give me an update before I am stalked and killed by the drink girl.

If she doesn't live that close to you, it'll be fine once you leave.

Unless she's a total psycho.

I mean LEAVE

PurpleJ

The defense was average at best. Not great like so many seemed to think. So there's that.

TierbsHsotBoobs

PurpleJ said:

The defense was average at best. Not great like so many seemed to think. So there's that.

An average defense is good enough to beat Cal.