Pastor tries to walk on water, eaten by crocodiles

LoneStarDawg said:

“We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.”

He had a good week of practice

Sark forgot to tell him to bring the *caged* Gators to practice

Don't think the title of a thread has made me laugh as much as this

Obvious trust issues

Rookie mistake.

Real messianic complex pros start with easy miracles like turning water into wine, making @GrandpaSankey see, stuff like that.

AZDuck said:

Swaye said:

phineas said:

Fucking christ



A pastor in Zimbabwe who tried replicating the Biblical story of Jesus Christ walking on water has been eaten by crocodiles.

I appreciate they showed a white person dying in the photo, but the preacher was black.

I don't see color. Also, the crocodiles never bother because I know how to bite them on the dick

TDIAVA

any word on who will lead the Go Dawgs chant at the funeral?

doogie said:

any word on who will lead the Go Gators chant at the funeral?

I laff at all religions.

HTH

YellowSnow said:

I laff every time one stupid religion (in the case we can assume Shia Islam) makes fun of another's myths and superstitions. Jesus couldn't have walked on water, but Muhammad sure rode the spirit horse to Jerusalem.

He rode "a" spirit horse

Not "THE" Spirit Horse

Cant quite buy the full on atheist approach. Too much weird shit happens in my own life just to be random chance.

And as far as believing in an afterlife - it's game theory. If I'm wrong, oh well. Wasted some Sundays and theological reading time before I become worm food.
If I'm right and there is eternal hell and damnation, then all good. Those who wanted to live in absolute denial - well, you fucked.

But, yeah, organized religion. Fuck that. Mostly con games.

PurpleThrobber said:

Cant quite buy the full on atheist approach. Too much weird shit happens in my own life just to be random chance.

And as far as believing in an afterlife - it's game theory. If I'm wrong, oh well. Wasted some Sundays and theological reading time before I become worm food.
If I'm right and there is eternal hell and damnation, then all good. Those who wanted to live in absolute denial - well, you fucked.

But, yeah, organized religion. Fuck that. Mostly con games.

I'll just get baptized or something when I'm dying in the hospital.

Until then fuck Jesus, hookers and booze is my religion.

PurpleThrobber said:

Pitchfork51 said:

PurpleThrobber said:

Cant quite buy the full on atheist approach. Too much weird shit happens in my own life just to be random chance.

And as far as believing in an afterlife - it's game theory. If I'm wrong, oh well. Wasted some Sundays and theological reading time before I become worm food.
If I'm right and there is eternal hell and damnation, then all good. Those who wanted to live in absolute denial - well, you fucked.

But, yeah, organized religion. Fuck that. Mostly con games.

I'll just get baptized or something when I'm dying in the hospital.

Until then fuck Jesus, hookers and booze is my religion.

Jesus chilled with hookers. Certain theologians think he jumped Mary Magdalene frequently.

And the motherfucker turned the water into wine. He liked to partay.

When you put it like that

He wouldn't be too bad a guy to have around.

Plus there's the whole forgiveness thing for when you get too drunk and do something stupid



I guess I always think of him as a little vegan type pussy.