2 million dollars, but you can never wipe your ass again.
Comments
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dflea, elk hunterdflea said:
If you have monkey butt, you're thinking about your itchy asshole all day instead of killing steelhead or elk.
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Bastard made Race spill his drink.oregonblitzkrieg said:
dflea, elk hunterdflea said:
If you have monkey butt, you're thinking about your itchy asshole all day instead of killing steelhead or elk. -
No Deal
It's a bullshit question in direct violation of the "would you rather" playbook ...Fenderbender123 said:BennyBeaver said:A dog
wipinglicking a person's ass?PurpleJ said:Take the 2 mil and buy a bidet.
I like the creative, outside-the-box thinking. Especially the idea about hiring a dog to lick your ass. But these are clear violations of the rules. The wiping of the ass must be performed by another human.Fenderbender123 said:The only way you can have that area get cleaned is if somebody else does it for you.
The simple solution is to take the $2M and immediately take a shower afterwards using the shower to do the balance of the cleaning with remaining "wiping" through traditional shower cleaning ...
As is it is a simple no -
Just make sure you don't shit in a restroom when you're on a date or at a business meeting and away from your shower.Tequilla said:
It's a bullshit question in direct violation of the "would you rather" playbook ...Fenderbender123 said:BennyBeaver said:A dog
wipinglicking a person's ass?PurpleJ said:Take the 2 mil and buy a bidet.
I like the creative, outside-the-box thinking. Especially the idea about hiring a dog to lick your ass. But these are clear violations of the rules. The wiping of the ass must be performed by another human.Fenderbender123 said:The only way you can have that area get cleaned is if somebody else does it for you.
The simple solution is to take the $2M and immediately take a shower afterwards using the shower to do the balance of the cleaning with remaining "wiping" through traditional shower cleaning ...
As is it is a simple no -
I inform a senile, incontinent acquaintance at a nursing home about the deal. I then proceed to create a Hardcore Husky troll account for him and have him take the money. Then I pocket my share of the cash because my friend and I signed a legal document prior to hoodwinking you, agreeing to split the money. He then upgrades his living quarters and can now afford to pay for hookers and blow, while I am a million dollars richer and you are none the wiser.
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DealJokes on you. I already have someone else wipe for me. #StraightJacketLife
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No Dealgreat 5 year old topic as always
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Deal
You are just making up rules at this point you asshole.Fenderbender123 said:
Yes. You can do this. However, you will still have shit on your ass. The shower will not remove it unless somebody else is holding the wand.CheersWestDawg said:Can I take the cash and just jump in the shower and change the setting on the shower head to the one with that sprays from the middle with high-pressure to wash my butt Hole?
I'll even air dry.
At this rate no one will take the 2mil and it's not a good discussion if we aren't divided. -
DealThe (masterfully written) first sentence of my original post.Fenderbender123 said:
The only way you can have that area get cleaned is if somebody else does it for you.
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DealI don't shit.
My body is so efficient it absorbs every bit of food I eat.
Just kidding...
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Whomever wins this thread will wind up contractually bound to cleaning @Fenderbender123's ass for life, having missed a consent warning somewhere in the contest rules.
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No DealJust want to say I'm reading this thread while wiping my ass.
Worth it. -
DealSince I pretty much have a one dump a day routine, this is easy. I only need to pay for a home health aide to swing by in the morning. I don't want to press my wipe wife into service that early in the morning and being 2MM richer I can afford a professional.
This has me wondering, are some of you randomly dumping multiple times a day, no routine, no schedule?
That's no way to live. -
DealI shit every day at the same time...right when I clock in at work.
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What city or county do you work for?Fenderbender123 said:I shit every day at the same time...right when I clock in at work.
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No Deal
You have to clock in for work?Fenderbender123 said:I shit every day at the same time...right when I clock in at work.
You sound poor. -
Dealdnc said:
You have toFenderbender123 said:I shit every day at the same time...right when I clock in at work.
clock in forwork?
You sound poor.
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A bear and a rabbit were taking a crap side-by-side in the woods.
The bear asked, "Do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?
"No", the rabbit answered.
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
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This thread delivers.HanseeHall78 said:A bear and a rabbit were taking a crap side-by-side in the woods.
The bear asked, "Do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?
"No", the rabbit answered.
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. -
No Deal
If the shit doesn't stick to the rabbit's fur, how does the bear's ass get clean?HanseeHall78 said:A bear and a rabbit were taking a crap side-by-side in the woods.
The bear asked, "Do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?
"No", the rabbit answered.
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. -
Dealwipe?
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No DealBennyBeaver said:
If the shit doesn't stick to the rabbit's fur, how does the bear's ass get clean?HanseeHall78 said:A bear and a rabbit were taking a crap side-by-side in the woods.
The bear asked, "Do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?
"No", the rabbit answered.
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
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Genius.oregonblitzkrieg said:I inform a senile, incontinent acquaintance at a nursing home about the deal. I then proceed to create a Hardcore Husky troll account for him and have him take the money. Then I pocket my share of the cash because my friend and I signed a legal document prior to hoodwinking you, agreeing to split the money. He then upgrades his living quarters and can now afford to pay for hookers and blow, while I am a million dollars richer and you are none the wiser.
