2 million dollars, but you can never wipe your ass again.

Fenderbender123

The only way you can have that area get cleaned is if somebody else does it for you. In other words, if you try to wipe, nothing will stick to the toilet paper or towel. However, if you put your clothes back on without wiping, it will smear onto your underwear and pants.

So, what do you think? Is it worth it?

TierbsHsotBoobs

No Deal

This thread is worth $10.95 alone.

UWhuskytskeet

Is this thread about taint licking?

GrundleStiltzkin

Free pub!!!11

Fenderbender123

Deal

I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd take the money. Then, I'd incorporate a diet that made it so that my shit would actually slick my butthole clean, requiring no wiping whatsoever. You know what I'm talking about...those times when you wipe and then you take a look at the toilet paper to see how much you got, and there's nothing there.

FireCohen

simple solution bring extra pair of underwear

Mad_Son

No Deal

Holy shit the people on this board are poorer than I realized.

RaceBannon

Deal

Here is my designated wiper

BennyBeaver

No Deal

RaceBannon said:

Here is my designated wiper

This is more your speed:

RaceBannon

Deal

thud

BennyBeaver

No Deal

disagree

Fenderbender123

Deal

A dog wiping a person's ass? Come on. Let's try to maintain a serious discussion.

TierbsHsotBoobs

No Deal

Fenderbender123 said:

A dog wiping a person's ass? Come on. Let's try to maintain a serious discussion.

This is a serious taint licking discussion.

BennyBeaver

No Deal

Fenderbender123 said:

A dog wiping licking a person's ass? Come on. Let's try to maintain a serious discussion.

PurpleJ

Deal

Take the 2 mil and buy a bidet.

Fenderbender123

Deal

BennyBeaver said:

A dog wiping licking a person's ass?

PurpleJ said:

Take the 2 mil and buy a bidet.

Fenderbender123 said:

The only way you can have that area get cleaned is if somebody else does it for you.

I like the creative, outside-the-box thinking. Especially the idea about hiring a dog to lick your ass. But these are clear violations of the rules. The wiping of the ass must be performed by another human.

PurpleJ

Deal

Bidets don't wipe your ass. They clean it by spraying water. My case holds up in court.

BennyBeaver

No Deal

Fenderbender123 said:

BennyBeaver said:

A dog wiping licking a person's ass?

PurpleJ said:

Take the 2 mil and buy a bidet.

Fenderbender123 said:

The only way you can have that area get cleaned is if somebody else does it for you.

I like the creative, outside-the-box thinking. Especially the idea about hiring a dog to lick your ass. But these are clear violations of the rules. The wiping of the ass must be performed by another human.

I'd argue that a dog could be defined as "somebody" but a bidet cannot. I win.

AlCzervik

Deal

Obligatory.

BennyBeaver

No Deal

dog ass licking > bidet

IRYK

PurpleJ

Deal

I could still get a dog and have it lick my ass. Why does it always have to be an "or" scenario with you simple folk? Why not a life of abundance?