Could someone on this bored....
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deserves own threadSwaye said:Ran the gauntlet. Didn't even have to buy her anything. Started texting with lame excuses that I had misplaced my phone but she was special, blah blah blah bullshit. She ate it up like cornbread. She wanted to meet up for "coffee." Told her to come to my room while I "got ready." She gets to the room and starts all this "I'm serious you really need to take me out" crap to try to gather some shred of dignity. 15 minutes later she's face down ass up and I never spent a dime (even got the room comped for pouring money onto the black jack table like water last night - FML). Got her out of here about 20 minutes ago with the promise that I had a quick event to do with the wedding party and afterwards I would take her out for a nice dinner. I am packing right now and will be on the road in 20. Just have to go Injun ninja mode getting out of the hotel.
How do I block her calls to my phone? iphone 5c TIA -
Quality thread.
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Well played, sir. That's fucking ice cold. I'm still waiting for those titty pics. No more cyber 3 ways with @dnc until I see those.Swaye said:Ran the gauntlet. Didn't even have to buy her anything. Started texting with lame excuses that I had misplaced my phone but she was special, blah blah blah bullshit. She ate it up like cornbread. She wanted to meet up for "coffee." Told her to come to my room while I "got ready." She gets to the room and starts all this "I'm serious you really need to take me out" crap to try to gather some shred of dignity. 15 minutes later she's face down ass up and I never spent a dime (even got the room comped for pouring money onto the black jack table like water last night - FML). Got her out of here about 20 minutes ago with the promise that I had a quick event to do with the wedding party and afterwards I would take her out for a nice dinner. I am packing right now and will be on the road in 20. Just have to go Injun ninja mode getting out of the hotel.
How do I block her calls to my phone? iphone 5c TIA -
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When this bitch murders Swaye I will attend the funeral on behalf of the bored
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Can we still call her a whore if Swaye marries her?TierbsHsotBoobs said: -
Yes. This is Swaye we're talking about.Passion said:
Can we still call her a whore if Swaye marries her?TierbsHsotBoobs said: -
Jesus.RoadDawg55 said:The UW defense is legitimately good. This is college football in 2015. Cal had the ball the whole first half. Giving up 30 to them isn't bad, considering how the game went. I'm not sure if they get held under 30 again. They probably will because they are Cal and their bitchassness will show up, but it's not happening more than once or twice.
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This thread delivers. Dying laughing. Wife thinks I'm more retarded than normal.
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Swaye is my red hero.
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This thread is all that is good about the internets.
Deserves something better than just a "heart/awesome" emoticon.
I support sending Swaye away every Saturday on an adventure while we do our best to keep him up to speed on the game while he keeps us up to speed on ... well ... whatever the fuck it is that he's doing. -
EsophagealFeces said:
Well played, sir. That's fucking ice cold. I'm still waiting for those titty pics. No more cyber 3 ways with @dnc until I see those.Swaye said:Ran the gauntlet. Didn't even have to buy her anything. Started texting with lame excuses that I had misplaced my phone but she was special, blah blah blah bullshit. She ate it up like cornbread. She wanted to meet up for "coffee." Told her to come to my room while I "got ready." She gets to the room and starts all this "I'm serious you really need to take me out" crap to try to gather some shred of dignity. 15 minutes later she's face down ass up and I never spent a dime (even got the room comped for pouring money onto the black jack table like water last night - FML). Got her out of here about 20 minutes ago with the promise that I had a quick event to do with the wedding party and afterwards I would take her out for a nice dinner. I am packing right now and will be on the road in 20. Just have to go Injun ninja mode getting out of the hotel.
How do I block her calls to my phone? iphone 5c TIA
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Swaye is my fucking hero, regardless if he's a jiffy lube working injun. If you marry her, I'll send you a nice set of candlesticks...
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I bet she followed him out the window.
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This is probably the best plan. She might have put a tracking device in it while I was pissing sideways in the shitter during the post coitus phase of our relationship.BearsWiin said:Throw your phone in a river, or down a storm drain
In other news, I just woke up after sleeping 14 straight hours. I had been up for 38 straight hours on a drug, alcohol, rage and hate fucking filled bender and as soon as I got home I crashed hard. So I get up, and there are 38!!!!???!!!?!??!?!?!?!?!!? text messages from crazy slut. She was pretty pissed when she realized she not only wasn't getting dinner last night, but I had no intentions of ever writing her back. Phone is going in the river, but not before a get a few photos off it. Heh. -
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You keep reading, I'll keep reporting. (faggy winkie face)DHD said:This thread is all that is good about the internets.
Deserves something better than just a "heart/awesome" emoticon.
I support sending Swaye away every Saturday on an adventure while we do our best to keep him up to speed on the game while he keeps us up to speed on ... well ... whatever the fuck it is that he's doing. -
A real man would have "closed" this relationship with his honor and integrity intact.
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Shit. Classics bored. Belongs.
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BumpEsophagealFeces said:Shit. Classics bored. Belongs.
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Why isn't this thread in the fucking classics section where it belongs?BallSacked said:Doogs lost
But Oregons a dumpster fire
Spooge takes random Mexican kids to McDonald's, @NSA_Dawg true???
Now you're caught up.
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Cuz @Swaye hasn't poasted the fucking pics yet. He can GTFO as far I I'm concerned. JK XOXOXO BFF ROTFLMAONSA_Dawg said:
Why isn't this thread in the fucking classics section where it belongs?BallSacked said:Doogs lost
But Oregons a dumpster fire
Spooge takes random Mexican kids to McDonald's, @NSA_Dawg true???
Now you're caught up. -
@DerekJohnson hates my red hide.NSA_Dawg said:
Why isn't this thread in the fucking classics section where it belongs?BallSacked said:Doogs lost
But Oregons a dumpster fire
Spooge takes random Mexican kids to McDonald's, @NSA_Dawg true???
Now you're caught up. -
I've been a bit preoccupied
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@DerekJohnson
Classics Casino Waitress Night
This is the last one I can recall except the one where you posted my old signature...something like "Swaye's contribution to humanity" or some shit. It was your post, and I would never find it.
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My phone just dinged. This chick, over a year later, just texted me to ask if I was ever coming back to town. Jesus Fucking Christ. Is there a witness protection program thign for crazy chicks?
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A year later, trying not to burst into laughter.PurpleThrobber said:This thread delivers. Dying laughing. Wife thinks I'm more retarded than normal.
Wife still thinks I'm a retard. -
Such talent scout, JPurpleJ said:DL - Really lacking a run stuffing DT. Need someone who commands a double team there. A lot of these guys are undersized. Ends are inconsistent with the pass rush. They'll get pushed around if we ever face a real OL.
LB - A couple good players. A few that totally suck. Clay comes to mind. Shitty in zone coverage and not quick enough to the gaps on run plays. Victor is a man.
DB - Strength of the defense. A bit soft at times. They get beat on inside slants too often and the Cal receivers did a good job of getting between us and the ball. Gotta make a hit on those or get under their arms.
Shitty tackling all around, but at least they forced some turnovers and improved in the 2nd half.
