Could someone on this bored....

PurpleThrobber

This thread delivers. Dying laughing. Wife thinks I'm more retarded than normal.

Fire_Marshall_Bill

Swaye is my red hero.

DHD

This thread is all that is good about the internets.

Deserves something better than just a "heart/awesome" emoticon.

I support sending Swaye away every Saturday on an adventure while we do our best to keep him up to speed on the game while he keeps us up to speed on ... well ... whatever the fuck it is that he's doing.

ThomasFremont

EsophagealFeces said:

Swaye said:

Ran the gauntlet. Didn't even have to buy her anything. Started texting with lame excuses that I had misplaced my phone but she was special, blah blah blah bullshit. She ate it up like cornbread. She wanted to meet up for "coffee." Told her to come to my room while I "got ready." She gets to the room and starts all this "I'm serious you really need to take me out" crap to try to gather some shred of dignity. 15 minutes later she's face down ass up and I never spent a dime (even got the room comped for pouring money onto the black jack table like water last night - FML). Got her out of here about 20 minutes ago with the promise that I had a quick event to do with the wedding party and afterwards I would take her out for a nice dinner. I am packing right now and will be on the road in 20. Just have to go Injun ninja mode getting out of the hotel.

How do I block her calls to my phone? iphone 5c TIA

Well played, sir. That's fucking ice cold. I'm still waiting for those titty pics. No more cyber 3 ways with @dnc until I see those.

kh83

Swaye is my fucking hero, regardless if he's a jiffy lube working injun. If you marry her, I'll send you a nice set of candlesticks...

PurpleReign

I bet she followed him out the window.

Swaye

BearsWiin said:

Throw your phone in a river, or down a storm drain

This is probably the best plan. She might have put a tracking device in it while I was pissing sideways in the shitter during the post coitus phase of our relationship.

In other news, I just woke up after sleeping 14 straight hours. I had been up for 38 straight hours on a drug, alcohol, rage and hate fucking filled bender and as soon as I got home I crashed hard. So I get up, and there are 38!!!!???!!!?!??!?!?!?!?!!? text messages from crazy slut. She was pretty pissed when she realized she not only wasn't getting dinner last night, but I had no intentions of ever writing her back. Phone is going in the river, but not before a get a few photos off it. Heh.

Swaye

MisterEm said:

@priapism. .... take note.

This is how you close.

I'm having coffee.

Swaye

DHD said:

This thread is all that is good about the internets.

Deserves something better than just a "heart/awesome" emoticon.

I support sending Swaye away every Saturday on an adventure while we do our best to keep him up to speed on the game while he keeps us up to speed on ... well ... whatever the fuck it is that he's doing.

You keep reading, I'll keep reporting. (faggy winkie face)

priapism

A real man would have "closed" this relationship with his honor and integrity intact.