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Key West, Florida

Worth it, or tourist trap? I've never been and wondering if it's worth the trip.
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  • chuck
    chuck Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 11,674 Swaye's Wigwam
    SFGbob said:

    Worth it, or tourist trap? I've never been and wondering if it's worth the trip.

    I'd go there to fish.
  • StateChampWereU
    StateChampWereU Member Posts: 39
    Jet skiing in the ocean is pretty cool, though not sure you need to go there to do it.
  • PurpleThrobber
    PurpleThrobber Member Posts: 48,029
    edited August 2022





    On the travel list so I can congratulate the originator of FYFMFE in person


  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,220 Founders Club
    Any destination of this size where multiple cruise ships can dock is going to suck. Cruisers are the worst of all tourists. Iron Law.

    That said, there are some fairly upscale resorts in the Keys I would consider staying at if money was no object. Little Palm Island is a good example.
  • huskyhooligan
    huskyhooligan Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 5,924 Swaye's Wigwam
    I've heard good things about Fantasy Fest. Good as in a great place to get laid. Bad as in you probably take something home with you.
  • RaceBannon
    RaceBannon Member, Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 113,760 Founders Club
    I went there on a cruise. A carpet mill gave dealers and contractors a free cruise with free booze and food. What could go wrong

    Key West was like you see on TV. I'm a not a big Florida guy. A poor man's California
  • rodmansrage
    rodmansrage Member Posts: 6,376
    went there when i was in middle school, saw a lady in a thong, that was probably the highlight.

    dont take a bike/rent a bike, itll get stolen.
  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,220 Founders Club

    I went there on a cruise. A carpet mill gave dealers and contractors a free cruise with free booze and food. What could go wrong

    Key West was like you see on TV. I'm a not a big Florida guy. A poor man's California

    California for all its fuckery still has a superior coastline to Florida.
  • RaceBannon
    RaceBannon Member, Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 113,760 Founders Club
  • CFetters_Nacho_Lover
    CFetters_Nacho_Lover Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 32,256 Founders Club

    went there when i was in middle school, saw a lady in a thong, that was probably the highlight.

    dont take a bike/rent a bike, itll get stolen.

    We pretty much *walked everywhere for the 3 days we were there.
































    Mrs Nacho walked. I waddled.
  • Purple_Pills
    Purple_Pills Member Posts: 2,110
    SFGbob said:

    Worth it, or tourist trap? I've never been and wondering if it's worth the trip.


    Yes, worth it, if you drive the full keys. Bahia Honda State Park, the pair of breweries in Islamorada, the seafood.

    Yeah, worth the time.
  • 1to392831weretaken
    1to392831weretaken Member Posts: 7,696

    ...Cruisers are the worst of all tourists. Iron Law...

    I went there on a cruise...

  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,220 Founders Club

    ...Cruisers are the worst of all tourists. Iron Law...

    I went there on a cruise...

    I went on a cruise to Alaska with my bitch face ex-wife. I stand by my take.
  • RaceBannon
    RaceBannon Member, Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 113,760 Founders Club
    And I admitted we were drunk the entire time
  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,220 Founders Club

    And I admitted we were drunk the entire time

    And it was free. My cruise was free as well.
  • YouKnowIt
    YouKnowIt Member Posts: 545
    We went last year, 3 days in KW and 2 days in Marathon.... We booked not knowing anything about there being a Fantasy Fest, lets put it this way, its People watching on a whole other level. Like Vegas X 10. Lots of live music. The bars were cool Irish Kevins, Sloppy joes, Hogs Breath, food was good, went to Latitudes similar to mamas fish house on Maui...

    We'd definitely go back again but not during FF... or maybe do it again. If you want to check out fantasy fest just log onto Sloppy joes live cam during the last week of October ... and your sweatpants may get tight
  • creepycoug
    creepycoug Member Posts: 24,029
    edited August 2022

    I went there on a cruise. A carpet mill gave dealers and contractors a free cruise with free booze and food. What could go wrong

    Key West was like you see on TV. I'm a not a big Florida guy. A poor man's California

    California for all its fuckery still has a superior coastline to Florida.
    Superior to look at in many cases (not all); not superior to get in an enjoy.

    Agree about when the ships are in. Last time I was there, a guy was walking with his girlfriend/wife/whatever got into an argument on Duvall with some guy whose job it was to get people to come into a gay bar. I mean, just keep walking dude. It's like getting mad at the card flippers on the Vegas strip. If those things anger you, go to Disney World and be done with it. Classic "just off the boat for a few hours" tourist.
  • creepycoug
    creepycoug Member Posts: 24,029

    I went in January of 21 kinda by accident. Started out in Marco Island and learned about red tide so we left and drove south. First stop was Key Largo. We wanted a beach and there are no fucking beaches there. Left after a night and kept going south until we hit Key West. Still no fucking beaches worth a damn and doing anything water related like snorkeling wasn’t worth the relatively cool temps.

    I don’t fish so I didn’t give a fuck about chartering a boat but like others say, it’s good fishing according to people.

    I did not have a bad meal while I was there and I broke my rule of nachos x3 daily so that’s saying something. It’s definitely a place to drink from the time you wake up until the time you pass out.

    It was definitely cool going and seeing it all but I have no desire to go back.

    The main islands of the Keys that US 1 follows don't have a lot of great beaches, though there are some stunners. You just have to know where they are. Watch Bloodlines on Netflix and you'll know what I mean.

    To me, the Upper Keys are kind of boring unless you are going fishing. 99.9% of the cool shit is in Key West.
  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,220 Founders Club

    I went there on a cruise. A carpet mill gave dealers and contractors a free cruise with free booze and food. What could go wrong

    Key West was like you see on TV. I'm a not a big Florida guy. A poor man's California

    California for all its fuckery still has a superior coastline to Florida.
    Superior to look at in many cases (not all); not superior to get in an enjoy.

    Agree about when the ships are in. Last time I was there, a guy was walking with his girlfriend/wife/whatever got into an argument on Duvall with some guy whose job it was to get people to come into a gay bar. I mean, just keep walking dude. It's like getting mad at the card flippers on the Vegas strip. If those things anger you, go to Disney World and be done with it. Classic "just off the boat for a few hours" tourist.
    The FL water is too warm and designed for soft, swarthy types @creepycoug .

    Southern California ocean waters feel just right to me.

    And in terms of scenery it's not really close.
  • creepycoug
    creepycoug Member Posts: 24,029

    I went there on a cruise. A carpet mill gave dealers and contractors a free cruise with free booze and food. What could go wrong

    Key West was like you see on TV. I'm a not a big Florida guy. A poor man's California

    California for all its fuckery still has a superior coastline to Florida.
    Superior to look at in many cases (not all); not superior to get in an enjoy.

    Agree about when the ships are in. Last time I was there, a guy was walking with his girlfriend/wife/whatever got into an argument on Duvall with some guy whose job it was to get people to come into a gay bar. I mean, just keep walking dude. It's like getting mad at the card flippers on the Vegas strip. If those things anger you, go to Disney World and be done with it. Classic "just off the boat for a few hours" tourist.
    The FL water is too warm and designed for soft, swarthy types @creepycoug .

    Southern California ocean waters feel just right to me.

    And in terms of scenery it's not really close.
    Agreed on scenery, for the most part. Although the Keys have their moments and their angles, particularly at sunset.

    I miss it there terribly. Why oh why did I fall for a blonde haired, blue eyed eastern European with her inferior genes and inability to appreciate movies like the Godfather?
  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,220 Founders Club

    I went there on a cruise. A carpet mill gave dealers and contractors a free cruise with free booze and food. What could go wrong

    Key West was like you see on TV. I'm a not a big Florida guy. A poor man's California

    California for all its fuckery still has a superior coastline to Florida.
    Superior to look at in many cases (not all); not superior to get in an enjoy.

    Agree about when the ships are in. Last time I was there, a guy was walking with his girlfriend/wife/whatever got into an argument on Duvall with some guy whose job it was to get people to come into a gay bar. I mean, just keep walking dude. It's like getting mad at the card flippers on the Vegas strip. If those things anger you, go to Disney World and be done with it. Classic "just off the boat for a few hours" tourist.
    The FL water is too warm and designed for soft, swarthy types @creepycoug .

    Southern California ocean waters feel just right to me.

    And in terms of scenery it's not really close.
    Agreed on scenery, for the most part. Although the Keys have their moments and their angles, particularly at sunset.

    I miss it there terribly. Why oh why did I fall for a blonde haired, blue eyed eastern European with her inferior genes and inability to appreciate movies like the Godfather?
    Pollocks > Moors.
  • PurpleThrobber
    PurpleThrobber Member Posts: 48,029
    edited August 2022
    The only thing Cali Pacific Ocean water is good for is shrinkage. Beaches are adequate unless you’re into get sandblasted.

    Too fucking cold.

    @creepycoug is right. Gulf coast waters and Atlantic beaches up to North Carolina are the shit.



  • CFetters_Nacho_Lover
    CFetters_Nacho_Lover Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 32,256 Founders Club

    We have a family place there and a lot of family history.

    It's not for everybody, but it has this:

    1. Beautiful architecture. Unlike a lot of towns that have high tourism, which sport store front veneers to make the place look old and charming, Key West is actually fucking old and historical, and there is a lot of that to see. Like the Casa Marina, built by Flagler of Standard Oil fame, or the Southernmost House or the Little White House. For such a tiny place, a lot of things have happened there.
    2. A great place for foodies, and always has been. There are great places to eat, from the very high end to amazing comfort food places and everything in between. If you're not good at the restaurant biz, you don't make it in Key West. There aren't a lot of 4x2 mile islands that pack more high-end food experiences, and this is one of them. There are even a few Michelin 5 stars, which is astounding for the size of the place.
    3. The water experience is superior to California. Sorry guys: the Pacific ocean sucks ass this far up north other than to look at. Give me the Gulf side of Mejico and the Caribbean any day over Cali coast water. This one's not even fucking close. There aren't a lot of great beaches on Key West proper (though there are some), but the good stuff is all over the place and short boat rides away. A trip out to Fort Jefferson would be unforgettable.
    4. Fantasy Fest is a mini mardi gras. You either like that or not. If not, don't go in October.
    5. Key West, and Florida, are at its best weather-wise when it's completely miserable everyplace else. While I'd pick western US weather over southeastern US weather most of the year, from about late November to about March, it's hard to beat KW and south Florida. Come April, you want to get the hell outta there.

    KW is worth a visit, especially in the winter. The town has gone through changes ... the rough and tumble fishing culture that Hemingway loved so much to a renaissance in the early 80s driven by an influx of a large gay community that really made KW a destination for European tourists to what has become a place at which kids from SEC schools like to converge for spring break. KW has always had a party culture, and if seeing a girl getting a tattoo on her ass on Duval Street isn't your cup of tea, it's easy enough to avoid.

    It's not Hawaii and shouldn't be compared to it. Though I'd take the actual town itself over any town I've been to in Hawaii, and I'd rather be in a boat in the Keys over any beach I've been to on Maui. That said, I've been to some beaches on Oahu that I'd rate higher.

    The food in Key West was awesome and as our resident Cuban points out, great architecture.

  • PurpleThrobber
    PurpleThrobber Member Posts: 48,029

    The only thing Cali Pacific Ocean water is good for is shrinkage. Beaches are adequate unless you’re into get sandblasted.

    Too fucking cold.

    @creepycoug is right. Gulf coast waters and Atlantic beaches up to North Carolina are the shit.





    you're goddamned right.

    @creepycoug you can collect your contingent fee now. This case is closed.

  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,220 Founders Club

    The only thing Cali Pacific Ocean water is good for is shrinkage. Beaches are adequate unless you’re into get sandblasted.

    Too fucking cold.

    @creepycoug is right. Gulf coast waters and Atlantic beaches up to North Carolina are the shit.





    you're goddamned right.

    @creepycoug you can collect your contingent fee now. This case is closed.

    Exactly. Yella's always right about the Redneck Rivera.

    Meanwhile I got hitched on the north end of main Laguna Beach below the ciffs and palms. Stunning and classy AF.


  • RaceBannon
    RaceBannon Member, Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 113,760 Founders Club
    Swim at Oceanside in April on a 105 degree day and then pop off

    Surrounded by fire