The Soccer Mom SUV Thread
Comments
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@1to392831weretaken van hawt takes are some of my favorite posts on this site.1to392831weretaken said:
Again, marketing. For starters, because of the high roof and rear door design, they became synonymous with adventure sports: there are never fewer than a half dozen of them in the mountain bike park lot that I drive by every day. When people think of Sprinters, they think "active, outdoor" people, not please-kill-me-because-I-just-live-for-my-kids-now rolling coffins. I'll admit, a LWB high roof Sprinter is my lottery car. I'd ditch the race trailer and never look back! I've fit a lot of shit in the minivan, but a 420 lb. bike isn't one of them.YellowSnow said:
So I live in the Mercedes Sprinter Van capital of the free world. What did they do to make those cool? I feel like the mini van could be made to be cool, but they are just generic looking blob of steel at the moment except for VW.1to392831weretaken said:
I know, I was kidding. And I know exactly what you're talking about. I have a brother and at least four friends who REALLY want one. In every case, it's the wife putting the foot down. Marketing has convinced them that they'll immediately become less sexually attractive and independent if they get behind the wheel of a minivan.BleachedAnusDawg said:Soccer mom's largely don't drive minivans. They're the most practical vehicle for a family, and also completely dorky. Tried to convince my beard to get one and she will not be caught dead driving one.
The reality that escapes them is that they already got less sexually attractive and independent when they had kids and got fat, so they might as well drive something that makes their lives easier...
I think I've posted this article here before. 2004 New Yorker article by Malcolm Gladwell. The beginning part, at least, is really fascinating in that it quotes auto executives and marketers and engineers. The contempt they have for their customers is eye opening. -
1to392831weretaken said:
Again, marketing. For starters, because of the high roof and rear door design, they became synonymous with adventure sports: there are never fewer than a half dozen of them in the mountain bike park lot that I drive by every day. When people think of Sprinters, they think "active, outdoor" people, not please-kill-me-because-I-just-live-for-my-kids-now rolling coffins. I'll admit, a LWB high roof Sprinter is my lottery car. I'd ditch the race trailer and never look back! I've fit a lot of shit in the minivan, but a 420 lb. bike isn't one of them.YellowSnow said:
So I live in the Mercedes Sprinter Van capital of the free world. What did they do to make those cool? I feel like the mini van could be made to be cool, but they are just generic looking blob of steel at the moment except for VW.1to392831weretaken said:
I know, I was kidding. And I know exactly what you're talking about. I have a brother and at least four friends who REALLY want one. In every case, it's the wife putting the foot down. Marketing has convinced them that they'll immediately become less sexually attractive and independent if they get behind the wheel of a minivan.BleachedAnusDawg said:Soccer mom's largely don't drive minivans. They're the most practical vehicle for a family, and also completely dorky. Tried to convince my beard to get one and she will not be caught dead driving one.
The reality that escapes them is that they already got less sexually attractive and independent when they had kids and got fat, so they might as well drive something that makes their lives easier...
I think I've posted this article here before. 2004 New Yorker article by Malcolm Gladwell. The beginning part, at least, is really fascinating in that it quotes auto executives and marketers and engineers. The contempt they have for their customers is eye opening.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=PI_Jl5WFQkA -
We test drove a pilot back in 2015. Nice ride but the driver seat is not tall people friendly. It’s designed for like 5’6” soccer mom.TurdBomber said:Bought the wife a 3 yr old Pilot. Great fucking car, tons of room, fits up to 8 if necessary. Put both kids through HS and dozens of soccer tournaments all over the PNW.
Yakima/Thule box on top and ski trips are a breeze. Fast, reliable, great mileage, very fast 0 to 60, great visibility, good stereo, fucking thing goes anywhere and everything works. All I've done is change the oil, filters and changed the plugs once.
Also found a handful of my son's Trojan wrappers behind the back seat, so it's good for that, too. Great family car, indeed. -
My wife is just under 5-9 and my Trojan-wrapper-littering son is 5-11. I don't drive it much, but that power seat is helladjustable.YellowSnow said:
We test drove a pilot back in 2015. Nice ride but the driver seat is not tall people friendly. It’s designed for like 5’6” soccer mom.TurdBomber said:Bought the wife a 3 yr old Pilot. Great fucking car, tons of room, fits up to 8 if necessary. Put both kids through HS and dozens of soccer tournaments all over the PNW.
Yakima/Thule box on top and ski trips are a breeze. Fast, reliable, great mileage, very fast 0 to 60, great visibility, good stereo, fucking thing goes anywhere and everything works. All I've done is change the oil, filters and changed the plugs once.
Also found a handful of my son's Trojan wrappers behind the back seat, so it's good for that, too. Great family car, indeed.
I was impressed with it's speed going up big hills. That thing flies up Queen Anne, Beacon and High Point. 25 mph? My ass, SDOT. -
Sprinter vans are for delivery of cannabis plants and flowers.1to392831weretaken said:
Again, marketing. For starters, because of the high roof and rear door design, they became synonymous with adventure sports: there are never fewer than a half dozen of them in the mountain bike park lot that I drive by every day. When people think of Sprinters, they think "active, outdoor" people, not please-kill-me-because-I-just-live-for-my-kids-now rolling coffins. I'll admit, a LWB high roof Sprinter is my lottery car. I'd ditch the race trailer and never look back! I've fit a lot of shit in the minivan, but a 420 lb. bike isn't one of them.YellowSnow said:
So I live in the Mercedes Sprinter Van capital of the free world. What did they do to make those cool? I feel like the mini van could be made to be cool, but they are just generic looking blob of steel at the moment except for VW.1to392831weretaken said:
I know, I was kidding. And I know exactly what you're talking about. I have a brother and at least four friends who REALLY want one. In every case, it's the wife putting the foot down. Marketing has convinced them that they'll immediately become less sexually attractive and independent if they get behind the wheel of a minivan.BleachedAnusDawg said:Soccer mom's largely don't drive minivans. They're the most practical vehicle for a family, and also completely dorky. Tried to convince my beard to get one and she will not be caught dead driving one.
The reality that escapes them is that they already got less sexually attractive and independent when they had kids and got fat, so they might as well drive something that makes their lives easier...
I think I've posted this article here before. 2004 New Yorker article by Malcolm Gladwell. The beginning part, at least, is really fascinating in that it quotes auto executives and marketers and engineers. The contempt they have for their customers is eye opening.
Not people.
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Toyota Sienna mother fuckers
Why would you spend money on your wife’s car? -
The Sprinter office
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My neighbor works/lives like that four days per week then flies home. Literally sleeps in his Sprinter office.RaceBannon said:The Sprinter office
Fuck that.
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Friends I’ve known say land rovers are just plain fucked up engineering. Things like to replace a tire you have to disconnect the taillights and catalytic converter. Look bad ass and better off road than a jeep, but they break easily.
Another friend owned a porche and changing the spark plugs was like 1500 bucks. Had to lower the engine to get to them so some stupid shit. -
