The Soccer Mom SUV Thread

Swaye

@YellowSnow and I have been having some deep discussions on soccer mom conveyances recently and it got me to wondering what the denizens of retardville (that's us) are driving or want to drive. Mrs Swaye really likes the Toyota Highlanders and 4 Runners (I'm a big fan of TRD in general), and I've always been a fan of the Audi Q7.





Yellapiss has been doing a bunch of cross shopping lately and we've been discussing options. I was recently down at the local Porsche dealer and saw a Macan S on the lot and while I wouldn't call myself a "crossover dude" I must admit this motherfucker was baller as shit.




My next door neighbor just bought a supercharged Range Rover ( my trailer park is pretty upscale) that I wouldn't own, but it looks and sounds cool and is fast as fuck.



They originally tried ot get a G Wagon, but much like any Porsche 911 right now, you can't just walk in and get one. They are all waiting list cars and all above MSRP if you get lucky and get one after a year wait.



I am also always a fan of the good old Grand Cherokee (I own one in the current fleet of 5 vehicles surrounding the trailer) and love the SRT.



So anyway, what does HH think about the coolest, best, most reliable, or best value (whatever your chief criteria is) soccer Mom wagons out there?

PurpleThrobber

You guys and your SUV talk are missing the forest for the trees.

Fags.

PurpleThrobber

btw, when the throbber is not driving his pick em up truck (War Nissan Titan, bitches), he's rolling in a Mazda CX9. Best motherfucking snow car I have EVER driven and I've had Audis, BMWs, Fords, Chevys, Hondas, Nissans, Toyotas, Pontiacs, and even a fucking Buick at one point. It's not even close. Mine is getting a little long in the tooth mileage wise but, holy shit, unreal handling, unreal traction, unreal control.

Get all those sexy machines and I'll blow by you when you've skidded off into the median with my CX9.

Mad_Son

PurpleThrobber said:

btw, when the throbber is not driving his pick em up truck (War Nissan Titan, bitches), he's rolling in a Mazda CX9. Best motherfucking snow car I have EVER driven and I've had Audis, BMWs, Fords, Chevys, Hondas, Nissans, Toyotas, Pontiacs, and even a fucking Buick at one point. It's not even close. Mine is getting a little long in the tooth mileage wise but, holy shit, unreal handling, unreal traction, unreal control.

Get all those sexy machines and I'll blow by you when you've skidded off into the median with my CX9.

https://youtu.be/g6CslpftOe4

Also I like my CX-5 a lot. Drives so nicely. The things it can do safely (crazy turns) is absurd. I like the temperature controls. It's a small thing but I hate when cars try to get too fancy instead of just letting me turn the knobs.

DerekJohnson

Actual photo of Swaye's home:

PurpleThrobber

Mad_Son said:

PurpleThrobber said:

btw, when the throbber is not driving his pick em up truck (War Nissan Titan, bitches), he's rolling in a Mazda CX9. Best motherfucking snow car I have EVER driven and I've had Audis, BMWs, Fords, Chevys, Hondas, Nissans, Toyotas, Pontiacs, and even a fucking Buick at one point. It's not even close. Mine is getting a little long in the tooth mileage wise but, holy shit, unreal handling, unreal traction, unreal control.

Get all those sexy machines and I'll blow by you when you've skidded off into the median with my CX9.

https://youtu.be/g6CslpftOe4

Also I like my CX-5 a lot. Drives so nicely. The things it can do safely (crazy turns) is absurd. I like the temperature controls. It's a small thing but I hate when cars try to get too fancy instead of just letting me turn the knobs.

I half expected Omar and Avon to make a cameo in that commercial.

Swaye

DerekJohnson said:

Actual photo of Swaye's home:

Way to dox me Stalin. You can tell my yardstick was broken the day I poured the slabs for the partial driveway.

Swaye

Also lots of Mazda love here. Anyone else got any favorites to own, or dream machines they would like to own?

YellowSnow

PurpleThrobber said:

btw, when the throbber is not driving his pick em up truck (War Nissan Titan, bitches), he's rolling in a Mazda CX9. Best motherfucking snow car I have EVER driven and I've had Audis, BMWs, Fords, Chevys, Hondas, Nissans, Toyotas, Pontiacs, and even a fucking Buick at one point. It's not even close. Mine is getting a little long in the tooth mileage wise but, holy shit, unreal handling, unreal traction, unreal control.

Get all those sexy machines and I'll blow by you when you've skidded off into the median with my CX9.

I hear good things about the Mazda. Alas, I'm a stubborn mother fucker when it comes to my branding and Mazda just ain't it. This is not meant at dig against Mazda.

Above all else I want a zombie apocalypse machine endorsed by @PurpleBaze and @creepycoug . We just bought one of these suckers (only took 3 months to get it).



Mrs Snow likes a lot of aspects about it, but mostly we bought it to replace my 4runner eventually, which is way too small for a family of large humans. Eventually, she'll want something more performance oriented like this piece of shit, money pit.

YellowSnow

So apparently @creepycoug back when you went in on a Sequoia they were selling about 46,000 a year. 2021 sales were 7,000. Lulz.

PurpleThrobber

YellowSnow said:

PurpleThrobber said:

btw, when the throbber is not driving his pick em up truck (War Nissan Titan, bitches), he's rolling in a Mazda CX9. Best motherfucking snow car I have EVER driven and I've had Audis, BMWs, Fords, Chevys, Hondas, Nissans, Toyotas, Pontiacs, and even a fucking Buick at one point. It's not even close. Mine is getting a little long in the tooth mileage wise but, holy shit, unreal handling, unreal traction, unreal control.

Get all those sexy machines and I'll blow by you when you've skidded off into the median with my CX9.

I hear good things about the Mazda. Alas, I'm a stubborn mother fucker when it comes to my branding and Mazda just ain't it. This is not meant at dig against Mazda.

Above all else I want a zombie apocalypse machine endorsed by @PurpleBaze and @creepycoug . We just bought one of these suckers (only took 3 months to get it).



Mrs Snow likes a lot of aspects about it, but mostly we bought it to replace my 4runner eventually, which is way too small for a family of large humans. Eventually, she'll want something more performance oriented like this piece of shit, money pit.

Mrs. Throbber v2.0 drives a Toyota Highlander with studs. The Mazda kicks its ass in all weather radials.

YellowSnow

PurpleThrobber said:

YellowSnow said:

PurpleThrobber said:

btw, when the throbber is not driving his pick em up truck (War Nissan Titan, bitches), he's rolling in a Mazda CX9. Best motherfucking snow car I have EVER driven and I've had Audis, BMWs, Fords, Chevys, Hondas, Nissans, Toyotas, Pontiacs, and even a fucking Buick at one point. It's not even close. Mine is getting a little long in the tooth mileage wise but, holy shit, unreal handling, unreal traction, unreal control.

Get all those sexy machines and I'll blow by you when you've skidded off into the median with my CX9.

I hear good things about the Mazda. Alas, I'm a stubborn mother fucker when it comes to my branding and Mazda just ain't it. This is not meant at dig against Mazda.

Above all else I want a zombie apocalypse machine endorsed by @PurpleBaze and @creepycoug . We just bought one of these suckers (only took 3 months to get it).



Mrs Snow likes a lot of aspects about it, but mostly we bought it to replace my 4runner eventually, which is way too small for a family of large humans. Eventually, she'll want something more performance oriented like this piece of shit, money pit.

Mrs. Throbber v2.0 drives a Toyota Highlander with studs. The Mazda kicks its ass in all weather radials.

I'd have to see it to believe it. "All weather all season " radials can be pretty good on snow and ice. I could easily see a packed snow scenario where the Mazda wins. Black ice, though? Not buying it.

BleachedAnusDawg

Not sure about the Sequioa, but you couldn't pay me to drive a Highlander or 4-Runner because the interiors are so long in the tooth. I believe most Toyota SUV models in 2022 or 2023 are finally being updated, but that 4-Runner has been the same car for 12+ years now.

We're on the wait-list for a Telluride SX. Yep, a fuckin' Kia that has won basically every Best Of award for 3 years running and had a wait-list before the chip crunch hit and wait lists became cool. CX-9, Explorer, Highlander, etc all had much less cargo space with three rows up, and the third row in each of those is too small.



If I had my druthers and the cash I would've stuck the Mrs. in a Durango Hellcat. Sucky interior and it's a Dodge, but it has 3-rows and 797 horsepower.

UW_Doog_Bot

Wife has a 2018 Highlander. Very happy with it overall but we also don't actually have "weather" down here.

My mom has the Audi crossover and she loves it. Too small for a family car for us but more than good enough for the days where she picks up my kids.

I'm still rolling my shitty Dodge Dakota but at this point there's so much I've replaced on it myself I'm not real worried about it. It's good for offroading and beating the shit out of without worrying about scratching the paint. After dropping the pan and being able to replace a large part of the trans for $200 the wife has finally come around on why I value having a vehicle that I can work on myself and easily get parts for.

PurpleThrobber

UW_Doog_Bot said:

Wife has a 2018 Highlander. Very happy with it overall but we also don't actually have "weather" down here.

My mom has the Audi crossover and she loves it. Too small for a family car for us but more than good enough for the days where she picks up my kids.

I'm still rolling my shitty Dodge Dakota but at this point there's so much I've replaced on it myself I'm not real worried about it. It's good for offroading and beating the shit out of without worrying about scratching the paint. After dropping the pan and being able to replace a large part of the trans for $200 the wife has finally come around on why I value having a vehicle that I can work on myself and easily get parts for.

I did not realize you were a big tranny guy.

TTTTT, I know.

creepycoug

We? in the Sequoia club used to call the 4Runner the 4Skinner and didn't even bother with a name for the Highlander. The Land Cruisers were trying too hard and invariably owned by people who didn't get their cars dirty.

Now, I'm driving a Highlander. It's the most functional car I've owned. It's also very boring and I regret buying it, but I did and I drive cars into the ground as a rule. I may break that rule here pretty soon. Thinking about selling both the Highlander (2018) and MDX (2015), buying one Sequoia and start the hunt for a classic 356 ... something between 63 and 68.

Swaye

UW_Doog_Bot said:

Wife has a 2018 Highlander. Very happy with it overall but we also don't actually have "weather" down here.

My mom has the Audi crossover and she loves it. Too small for a family car for us but more than good enough for the days where she picks up my kids.

I'm still rolling my shitty Dodge Dakota but at this point there's so much I've replaced on it myself I'm not real worried about it. It's good for offroading and beating the shit out of without worrying about scratching the paint. After dropping the pan and being able to replace a large part of the trans for $200 the wife has finally come around on why I value having a vehicle that I can work on myself and easily get parts for.

I keep the 2005 Wrangler Rubicon around because it is right on that line where I can still work on some of it without special tooling and computer setups, but sort of modern enough that it has a few basic creature comforts. I keep the 1985 Scrambler around because it's a redneck chick panty dropper and I can work on ALL of it easily, plus solar flares don't mean shit. I have always advocated keeping at least one vehicle around that you can still wrench on in a garage without 50K worth of diagnostics equipment and specialty tools. Everything bought from the early 90's on except some basic Jeeps and trucks are going to be paperweights after the Zombie apocalypse.

Swaye

creepycoug said:

We? in the Sequoia club used to call the 4Runner the 4Skinner and didn't even bother with a name for the Highlander. The Land Cruisers were trying too hard and invariably owned by people who didn't get their cars dirty.

Now, I'm driving a Highlander. It's the most functional car I've owned. It's also very boring and I regret buying it, but I did and I drive cars into the ground as a rule. I may break that rule here pretty soon. Thinking about selling both the Highlander (2018) and MDX (2015), buying one Sequoia and start the hunt for a classic 356 ... something between 63 and 68.

As the self-appointed President of the HH Porsche fan club you now have my complete attention.

HFNY

Buy American, please. At the very least, buy a foreign brand that is made by your fellow Americans somewhere in our beautiful country.

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

YellowSnow

HFNY said:

Buy American, please. At the very least, buy a foreign brand that is made by your fellow Americans somewhere in our beautiful country.

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

The Toyota Sequoia is assembled in Indiana. Same with Tundra.

whlinder

I don't do SUVs, but friends of mine drive some combo of everything you've listed plus a few more to consider:

Grand Cherokee
Rover
G Wagon
Q7
CX-9
Macan S

plus
Alfa Romeo Stelvio
BMW X7
Infinity QX60
VW Atlas
Mercedes GLS
Tesla Model X
Tahoe/Suburban
Escalade
Explorer

Also, the Raptor has become a favorite of the husbands of said soccer moms.

Feedback: The CX-9 owner did a lot of shopping around and concluded that it was the one they liked most and did not have the luxury brand price tag attached
The Stelvio owner appreciated it being unique and different and not "another Audi or BMW"
One of the GLS owners upgraded from a Tahoe and at first didn't like it then grew to appreciate the finer points of the Benz, aside from losing towing capacity
No consensus on X7 vs Q7. A lot of switching back and forth from one to the other.
Lots of love for the Escalade.
The Tesla driver wanted the bigger battery. It's a very nice ride for sure.
There is an appreciation for the new aggressive grille on the Tahoe.
Suburbans are like the "do everything" nice SUV.
I was personally impressed with just how damn nice the Cherokee was inside.

I can't think of anyone I know in a Lexus SUV or Toyota one still... None of those cars listed suck. No one takes theirs off road. The off roading is done in jacked up Jeep Wranglers or Ford Raptors.