I went to UW during 0-12. Had classes with football players that still wore their letterman jackets.
I still like to talk about how awesome I was I'm highschool at sports. So my embarrassing sports moments are lived progressively every day as I can't let go of the past.
Also, I got knocked out trying to block a 320 pound Samoan dude thinking that I could run full speed at him and win.
I also had diarrhea after a big win, so while my teammates were celebrating I spent twenty minutes on the can. There were no bathrooms, just a stall in the middle of the lockerroom
During marital arts sparring, I got kicked in the nuts and went down because I wasn't wearing a cup. I lost the match
Playing rugby for UW. I wasn't very good. During a ruck, I picked up the ball and proceeded to jump/dive over the pile out of bounds. The team made fun of me for weeks.
My entire youth sports (below high school) was a long running embarrassment yet with nothing remarkable. My fat ugly nipples in middle school track tank tops might have been one of the worst. Wrestling in 2nd & 3rd grade was moving from one mat of degradation to another.
Senior year of football in a first round playoff game, against another small town school that took football very seriously and traveled well. I wore old school knee braces that had these hanger straps that ran up the inside of the pants and hooked on the belt. Damn things were constantly coming undone. In this case, the braces became terribly tangled up and I could barely move because they slid down so far. I came off field following an offensive series, went to far side of bench, and without thinking much dropped trow to fix the situation as quick as I could. I gradually become aware of a commotion behind me, and turn around to see that I'm directly in front of the visitors section and am being heckled by the cheerleaders, students, and parents. Good tims.
10 years old little league playing catcher. Runner coming around third, I step up in front of home to take throw. I take my right hand and proceed to pull my mitt off my hand and throw it to the side then realized it was mask I was supposed to throw. Thankfully throw was way off line as I stand there with mask on and no catchers glove. My buddy’s Dad had a super loud laugh, he was crying he was laughing so hard. You had the right idea he said! When my son was 6 I told him that story. A year later he is playing catcher, ball coming to plate and he puts his right hand on mitt-then stops. He comes to dugout and tells me “ I almost did what you did Dad!
I was lobbing a Molotov cocktail once & I soapdish-fumbled it right behind me. Managed to get away from with nothing more than some singed ass hairs. Never been able to live that one down.
Our war party headed out to attack a wagon train and when we get to the ridgeline to look down and plan the attack I realize I forgot my bow. I had also grabbed my plastic tomahawk instead of the real one. The Chief made me walk home and said I couldn't do warpath for a month. I also had to make clay pots with the tribe women for a week.
I was playing in center field in baseball and ran up hard on a short pop fly. Missed it and it broke my nose.
I picked the ball up and threw it home all bloody and the catcher tried to get the guy out then dropped the ball because it was covered in blood then another guy scored lol
My entire youth sports (below high school) was a long running embarrassment yet with nothing remarkable. My fat ugly nipples in middle school track tank tops might have been one of the worst. Wrestling in 2nd & 3rd grade was moving from one mat of degradation to another.
Senior year of football in a first round playoff game, against another small town school that took football very seriously and traveled well. I wore old school knee braces that had these hanger straps that ran up the inside of the pants and hooked on the belt. Damn things were constantly coming undone. In this case, the braces became terribly tangled up and I could barely move because they slid down so far. I came off field following an offensive series, went to far side of bench, and without thinking much dropped trow to fix the situation as quick as I could. I gradually become aware of a commotion behind me, and turn around to see that I'm directly in front of the visitors section and am being heckled by the cheerleaders, students, and parents. Good tims.
Senior year we were getting our asses kicked in our rivalry game at the other team's place. We had destroyed them 3 years prior and I had talked a lot of shit to their receivers and knew I was going to have to take it this year. But then we came all the way back and beat them in overtime and I laughed.
Reads more like a humble brag than worst sports moment.
I hitchhiked to the annual Dawgman.com recruiting banquet back in early 2000's.
When Ken got done sharing his inside info with the spellbound audience, I nervously approached him (I was just 12 at the time) to ask if he'd autograph the back of my $40 ticket to his sold-out event.
He said with a smirk, "Sure kid. You do know I get these requests all the time."
As I handed over the ticket stub, my hand visibly shaking, Ken got distracted and muttered, "Be right back".
Senior year we were getting our asses kicked in our rivalry game at the other team's place. We had destroyed them 3 years prior and I had talked a lot of shit to their receivers and knew I was going to have to take it this year. But then we came all the way back and beat them in overtime and I laughed.
Reads more like a humble brag than worst sports moment.
I just thought of probably my worst one. My brother never lets me forget this one.
I have a long history of knee problems. I won't go into it as it's a long history. Until my early 20s it was all with my left knee. I tweaked my right one playing hoops at Ravenna Park during my last spring in Seattle. It felt serious when it happened, but it loosened up surprisingly fast and I kind of forgot about it.
That summer I joined my brother's men's slow pitch team for a couple of weekend tourneys per month. I was playing third base, with an expensive custom brace on my left knee, and muffed a hard grounder. After the dust settled, still pissed at myself for the error, I kicked at the ground like a fucking spoiled adolescent. I think I was expecting to just brush the dirt, but instead my cleats caught, the rest of my leg kept going, and I heard/felt that sickly, muted series of pops that comes from deep inside your knee as shit is tearing.
It nearly crumpled me, but instead I just started hopping/gimping in a little circle...wondering if I could walk or even stand on it. The other team's base coach and the runner who had come in to third on the play both saw what happened and were quick to show their Nebraska classiness, which I did not want at the moment. I think half of my team saw the whole thing too but I'm pretty sure they didn't give a fuck if I was OK or have any interest in helping me if I needed it.
I managed to play a few more games at first base and finish out the tourney but I was mostly useless. My ACL was torn and the chunk of meniscus that came out on that one was a personal record. It's easily the most disgraceful, embarrassing, damaging, stupid thing I've ever done during a sporting event. The next time I played a softball game I was wearing custom braces on both knees. My friends mockingly called me Terminator...with nothing even slightly complimentary intended. Dicks.
I just thought of probably my worst one. My brother never lets me forget this one.
I have a long history of knee problems. I won't go into it as it's a long history. Until my early 20s it was all with my left knee. I tweaked my right one playing hoops at Ravenna Park during my last spring in Seattle. It felt serious when it happened, but it loosened up surprisingly fast and I kind of forgot about it.
That summer I joined my brother's men's slow pitch team for a couple of weekend tourneys per month. I was playing third base, with an expensive custom brace on my left knee, and muffed a hard grounder. After the dust settled, still pissed at myself for the error, I kicked at the ground like a fucking spoiled adolescent. I think I was expecting to just brush the dirt, but instead my cleats caught, the rest of my leg kept going, and I heard/felt that sickly, muted series of pops that comes from deep inside your knee as shit is tearing.
It nearly crumpled me, but instead I just started hopping/gimping in a little circle...wondering if I could walk or even stand on it. The other team's base coach and the runner who had come in to third on the play both saw what happened and were quick to show their Nebraska classiness, which I did not want at the moment. I think half of my team saw the whole thing too but I'm pretty sure they didn't give a fuck if I was OK or have any interest in helping me if I needed it.
I managed to play a few more games at first base and finish out the tourney but I was mostly useless. My ACL was torn and the chunk of meniscus that came out on that one was a personal record. It's easily the most disgraceful, embarrassing, damaging, stupid thing I've ever done during a sporting event. The next time I played a softball game I was wearing custom braces on both knees. My friends mockingly called me Terminator...with nothing even slightly complimentary intended. Dicks.
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Comments
I still like to talk about how awesome I was I'm highschool at sports. So my embarrassing sports moments are lived progressively every day as I can't let go of the past.
Also, I got knocked out trying to block a 320 pound Samoan dude thinking that I could run full speed at him and win.
I also had diarrhea after a big win, so while my teammates were celebrating I spent twenty minutes on the can. There were no bathrooms, just a stall in the middle of the lockerroom
During marital arts sparring, I got kicked in the nuts and went down because I wasn't wearing a cup. I lost the match
I was 17.
I picked the ball up and threw it home all bloody and the catcher tried to get the guy out then dropped the ball because it was covered in blood then another guy scored lol
When Ken got done sharing his inside info with the spellbound audience, I nervously approached him (I was just 12 at the time) to ask if he'd autograph the back of my $40 ticket to his sold-out event.
He said with a smirk, "Sure kid. You do know I get these requests all the time."
As I handed over the ticket stub, my hand visibly shaking, Ken got distracted and muttered, "Be right back".
Never saw him again.
I have a long history of knee problems. I won't go into it as it's a long history. Until my early 20s it was all with my left knee. I tweaked my right one playing hoops at Ravenna Park during my last spring in Seattle. It felt serious when it happened, but it loosened up surprisingly fast and I kind of forgot about it.
That summer I joined my brother's men's slow pitch team for a couple of weekend tourneys per month. I was playing third base, with an expensive custom brace on my left knee, and muffed a hard grounder. After the dust settled, still pissed at myself for the error, I kicked at the ground like a fucking spoiled adolescent. I think I was expecting to just brush the dirt, but instead my cleats caught, the rest of my leg kept going, and I heard/felt that sickly, muted series of pops that comes from deep inside your knee as shit is tearing.
It nearly crumpled me, but instead I just started hopping/gimping in a little circle...wondering if I could walk or even stand on it. The other team's base coach and the runner who had come in to third on the play both saw what happened and were quick to show their Nebraska classiness, which I did not want at the moment. I think half of my team saw the whole thing too but I'm pretty sure they didn't give a fuck if I was OK or have any interest in helping me if I needed it.
I managed to play a few more games at first base and finish out the tourney but I was mostly useless. My ACL was torn and the chunk of meniscus that came out on that one was a personal record. It's easily the most disgraceful, embarrassing, damaging, stupid thing I've ever done during a sporting event. The next time I played a softball game I was wearing custom braces on both knees. My friends mockingly called me Terminator...with nothing even slightly complimentary intended. Dicks.