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Let’s just take a minute out of our days to recognize a great man: Joey Thomas

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Comments

  • HillsboroDuck
    HillsboroDuck Member Posts: 9,186
    WHSClassof2011 said:

    To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Joey Thomas. His play calling is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the plays he runs will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Joey's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his personality- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The coaches at the highest classification in the state understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these play calls, to realize that they're not just big yardage gainers- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Joey Thomas truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the intellectualism in Joey's existential catchphrase "Stop buying your kids everything you never had, and start teaching them everything you never knew," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Joey Thomas' genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

    And yes, by the way, i DO have a Joey Thomas tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

    So you're hiring these "ladies" to look upon your tattoo?

    Where does one apply for such a gig?

    Axing for a fren.
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  • UWhuskytskeet
    UWhuskytskeet Member Posts: 7,113
    LoneStarDawg said:

    Did I ever tell you about the time I went horseback riding with Joey Thomas, but there weren’t any horses around? Well, Joey throws a saddle on my back and rides me around Wyoming for three days. Well, wouldn’t you know it, my stamina increases with each day and I develop tremendous leg muscles. So anyway, Joey decides to enter me in the Breeders’ Cup, right, under the name Turkish Delight. And I’m running in second place, and I’m running and I break my ankle! They’re about to shoot me. Then someone from the crowd yells out, God bless him, ‘Don’t shoot him, he’s a human.'

    This needs to get added to Red Dead.
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  • TurdBomber
    TurdBomber Member Posts: 20,034 Standard Supporter
    TurdBuffer said:


    This one's for you, DDY. How about that Florida Orange Juice!
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  • FireCohen
    FireCohen Member Posts: 21,823
    Just caz Joey Thomas is mentioned this belongs in the classic
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  • HuskyJW
    HuskyJW Member Posts: 15,251
    edited November 2018
    Joey Thomas makes Shane Diesel look small
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  • Dennis_DeYoung
    Dennis_DeYoung Member Posts: 14,754
    TurdBuffer said:

    TurdBuffer said:


    This one's for you, DDY. How about that Florida Orange Juice!
    Bro.
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  • MikeDamone
    MikeDamone Member Posts: 37,781
    edited November 2018

    I thought he died.
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  • minion_doog
    minion_doog Member Posts: 2,024
    Quietcowskee said:

    I saw Joey and asked him why sometimes there was only one set of footprints in the sand...

    Joeys answer? Charles Frederick at midnight. Why? Because his competition isn't.
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  • minion_doog
    minion_doog Member Posts: 2,024
    MikeDamone said:


    I thought he died.

    The founder of Wendy's?
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  • Miley_Cyrus
    Miley_Cyrus Member Posts: 832
    Joey Thomas fucked my wife. Honestly wasn’t even mad.
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