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Welcome to the Hardcore Husky Forums. If you dare criticize Jimmy Lake, you won't last long.

Transcript of conversation today with my dad when he called from the post office

DerekJohnsonDerekJohnson Posts: 23,900
Swaye's Wigwam Solar Eclipse Donator 10,000 Awesomes 10,000 Up Votes
(My dad is a retired CPA who does my taxes and bookkeeping. He checks the Hardcore Husky PO Box a couple times a week.)

Stalin: Hello?
Dad: Hello son, this is your father.
Stalin: Hello papa.
Dad: I'm calling from the Port Orchard post office.
Stalin: Okay? What's up?
Dad: Were you expecting some strange sort of package at the PO box?
Stalin: Uhhh, not offhand. Why?
Dad: You received a very strange package. It's quite heavy. It's addressed to you.
Stalin: I have no idea what that might be.
Dad: The handwriting on the box is hard to read. But it appears to be from someone in Wisconsin. Do you know anyone in Wisconsin?
Stalin: Oh no. I don't know anyone in Wisconsin that I know of. This could be anything. Is the box ticking?
Dad: The box is not ticking.
Stalin: Well this is weird.
Dad: I'll save it for you for when we next have lunch.
Stalin: As long as its not ticking, go ahead and open it. Wait, isn't there a name?
Dad: Well let's see. It is from someone named Owen Twelve? The return address says 7 and 6 Sarkisian Lane. The city is Gilbyham, Wisconsin?
Stalin: LOL... Okay, these are all inside jokes, so it is definitely intended for me. So I don't have any idea what this is.
Dad: The box is quite heavy. They paid $20 in postage to mail it.
Stalin: Well go ahead and open it.
Dad: ... This is taking some time to open.
Stalin: I hear you.
Dad: Okay... Inside the box is a large bag of coffee grounds. That's all there is. There is no note.
Stalin: What the hell? Is there anything inside the coffee grounds?
Dad: That will take me a minute to get into. Hang on.
Stalin: What the hell is going on here? There's no note. What idiot from Hardcore Husky would send me this?
Dad: You have no idea?
Stalin: There are lots of idiots on Hardcore Husky, dad.
Dad: I see. The box has a tracking number.
Stalin: Please read it off to me.
Dad: (Gives tracking number)
Stalin: {looks it up online}. Okay, this came from [redacted], California. Hmmm.
Dad: I'm still trying to get into the bag.
Stalin: Who would .... Oh, okay! I think I might know who this is.
Dad: You do?
Stalin: We have a retard Cal Bear fan who was threatening to donate with lots of spare change. That would make sense.
Dad: Still trying to get into the package without spilling coffee grounds everywhere.
Stalin: Roger that.
Dad: This is quite heavy.
Stalin: Hmmm, okay.
Dad: Okay, here we go.... Let's see here...
Stalin: What is it?
Dad: Yes, there are dimes. My goodness. Hundreds and hundreds of dimes.
Stalin: LOL... That fucker!
Dad: I will deposit these into the account and then let you know the total.
PurpleBazepicalogestaboMad_SonHuskyJWhuskyhooliganRedRocketSwayeGilbystaintFremontTrollRaceBannonYellowSnowTequillaGrundleStiltzkinGreenRiverGatorzminion_doogPitchfork51RoadDawg55FirePeteKimsCopperPennyDeepSeaZAlCzervikExtraChrisBBleachedAnusDawgAZDuckDoog_de_JourhalfbrainmanmolderdtdwhlinderFire_Marshall_BillDooglesguntloveBad_MotherDuckerNEsnake12UW_Doog_BotRubberfistdncUWhuskytskeetGladstonePostGameOrangeSlicesThomasFremontNorwegianHuskyLoneStarDawgjhfstyle24Edwin_BambinoFenderbender123TheDozertheknowledgeDawgWagonDantopdawgncRDRDoogCouricsLebamDawgJaWarrenJaHookerDawgs4everCFetters_Nacho_LoverLesGrossmanEsophagealFeceswhatshouldicareaboutgreenbloodNeighbor2972BennyBeaverbackthepackdirtysouwfdawg
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Comments

  • SwayeSwaye Posts: 29,423
    Swaye's Wigwam Solar Eclipse Donator 10,000 Up Votes 10,000 Awesomes
    10/10

    So, um, I need to update the donation boner, so how many dimes are there?
    PurpleBazePitchfork51backthepacktheknowledge
  • DerekJohnsonDerekJohnson Posts: 23,900
    Swaye's Wigwam Solar Eclipse Donator 10,000 Awesomes 10,000 Up Votes
    Swaye said:

    10/10

    So, um, I need to update the donation boner, so how many dimes are there?

    haven't heard back yet
    Swayetheknowledgedirtysouwfdawg
  • PurpleBazePurpleBaze Posts: 19,488
    Swaye's Wigwam 10,000 Awesomes 10,000 Up Votes 10000 Comments

    Swaye said:

    10/10

    So, um, I need to update the donation boner, so how many dimes are there?

    haven't heard back yet
    Your dad broke the local CoinStar machine.

    Either that or he's going to be up all night counting.
    DerekJohnsonSwaye
  • YellowSnowYellowSnow Posts: 14,579
    Swaye's Wigwam 10,000 Up Votes 10,000 Awesomes 10000 Comments
    BearsWiin said:

    A few corrections: Owiin Twelve was the return name, 7-6 Sarkisian Way, Gilbyham WI 54207. 54-7 was the score of the 2003 game of which I recently posted a scorebored pic, and the 54207 zip is from WI.

    It was addressed to Derek "Stalin" Johnson, in cyrilic.

    There are 1,298 dimes and one penny. And one 9mm Winchester spent shell casing with an extra i stamped/scratched into it.

    The girls at the local UPS store had a blast helping me load the coffee grounds and then wrapping the hell out of the package. They made sure to cover as much as possible of the box with "Fragile" and "Priority Mail" stickers.

    Are they pre or post 1964 dimes?
    AZDuckguntlovebackthepacktheknowledge
  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Posts: 14,408
    10,000 Up Votes 10,000 Awesomes 10000 Comments 250 Answers
    BearsWiin said:

    A few corrections: Owiin Twelve was the return name, 7-6 Sarkisian Way, Gilbyham WI 54207. 54-7 was the score of the 2003 game of which I recently posted a scorebored pic, and the 54207 zip is from WI.

    It was addressed to Derek "Stalin" Johnson, in cyrilic.

    There are 1,298 dimes and one penny. And one 9mm Winchester spent shell casing with an extra i stamped/scratched into it.

    The girls at the local UPS store had a blast helping me load the coffee grounds and then wrapping the hell out of the package. They made sure to cover as much as possible of the box with "Fragile" and "Priority Mail" stickers.

    So you know who sent it?
    LebamDawgCFetters_Nacho_Lover
  • Wait, so Stalin doesn't actually live in Port Orchard? Time to tell the wife we're cancelling our move to the area.
    DerekJohnson
  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Posts: 14,408
    10,000 Up Votes 10,000 Awesomes 10000 Comments 250 Answers
    BearsWiin said:

    How were the UPS girls? Nothing special?

    Let's just say that they were very nice and friendly. They knew that coffee grounds confuse drug-sniffing dogs, but I think they were both too young to understand the term "dime bag."




    If I put this much thought into real-life shit, I could probably get a job
    Ups girls huh.

    This may be one of the few times I would guess that bearswiins girls weren't anything special
  • rodmansragerodmansrage Posts: 2,178
    5,000 Awesomes 2,500 Up Votes 250 Answers Fifth Anniversary
    BearsWiin said:



    If I put this much thought into real-life shit, I could probably get a job

    i dunno man, that sounds like a lot of work.
  • Mad_Son said:

    Worth the read

    Okay okay. Good shit.
  • dncdnc Posts: 38,641
    Swaye's Wigwam 10,000 Awesomes 10,000 Up Votes 25000 Comments
    Why is Aptos redacted?
    GrundleStiltzkinbackthepackBennyBeaver
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