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If any of you motherfuckers managed to properly land a load somewhere other than in or on your buddy

89ute
89ute Member Posts: 2,486
edited June 2017 in Tug Tavern
and you found yourself in a position to give a name to a male offspring, you better not have used one of the following names.

Jantsen, Jayden, Jaden, Jaxson, Jagun, Jamison, Kason, Kade, Brodee, Briggs, Caden, Cayden, Brayden, Hayden, Dayton, Payton, Payden, Cooper, Porter, Tel, Kael, Haze, Trell or Tyson.

If you did, light your fucking self and your fucked up kid on fire.

These names come from this year's Utah's High School Baseball All-Staters

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765694518/High-school-baseball-A-closer-look-at-this-years-5A-4A-3A-and-2A-All-Staters.html

I can take fucked up liquor laws but I can't tolerate what my fellow Utahns do to their kids.
«13

Comments

  • dnc
    dnc Member Posts: 56,840
    My single male progeny does not have any of those names.

    Though I don't hate Tyson.

    The rest can diaff.
  • 89ute
    89ute Member Posts: 2,486
    dnc said:

    89ute said:



    Jantsen, Jayden, Jaden, Jaxson, Jagun, Jamison, Kason, Kade, Brodee, Briggs, Caden, Cayden, Brayden, Hayden, Dayton, Payton, Payden, Cooper, Porter, Tel, Kael, Haze, Trell or Tyson.

    Here's a fun game, pick @backthepack's real name from this list.

    I'm going with Brodee Trell Porter.
    Not on list, but I'm going with Williamsburg.
  • AZDuck
    AZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
  • dnc
    dnc Member Posts: 56,840
  • PurpleThrobber
    PurpleThrobber Member Posts: 48,126 Standard Supporter
    Fuck baseball players.

    You want to name your kid after basketball players. Much higher IQs and smaller egos (and for the black ones, much bigger dicks).

    https://si.com/extra-mustard/2017/02/28/stockton-malone-shorts-utah-high-school-basketball-player
  • allpurpleallgold
    allpurpleallgold Member Posts: 8,771
    I kinda like Porter and Trell.
  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,319 Founders Club
    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.
  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,319 Founders Club
    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
  • dnc
    dnc Member Posts: 56,840

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
  • TierbsHsotBoobs
    TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
    I'd say the Mormon diaspora is quite different culturally than the in-state (Utah) varietal. In other words, bring Mormon in Provo is quite different than being a Mormon in, say, Bellevue.
    It's still a deranged cult.

















    shit.unleashed.belongs
  • dnc
    dnc Member Posts: 56,840

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
    I'd say the Mormon diaspora is quite different culturally than the in-state (Utah) varietal. In other words, bring Mormon in Provo is quite different than being a Mormon in, say, Bellevue.
    You being a lot of knowledge to the table
  • TierbsHsotBoobs
    TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
    I'd say the Mormon diaspora is quite different culturally than the in-state (Utah) varietal. In other words, bring Mormon in Provo is quite different than being a Mormon in, say, Bellevue.
    You being a lot of knowledge to the table
    *bring



    *nowledge
  • dnc
    dnc Member Posts: 56,840

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
    I'd say the Mormon diaspora is quite different culturally than the in-state (Utah) varietal. In other words, bring Mormon in Provo is quite different than being a Mormon in, say, Bellevue.
    You being a lot of knowledge to the table
    *bring



    *nowledge
    whooooooosh

    (see the poast I was responding too* for details)
  • TierbsHsotBoobs
    TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
    I'd say the Mormon diaspora is quite different culturally than the in-state (Utah) varietal. In other words, bring Mormon in Provo is quite different than being a Mormon in, say, Bellevue.
    You being a lot of knowledge to the table
    *bring



    *nowledge
    whooooooosh

    (see the poast I was responding too* for details)
    Fuck. I didn't read that far into his poast.
  • Kaepsknee
    Kaepsknee Member Posts: 14,913
    89ute said:

    and you found yourself in a position to give a name to a male offspring, you better not have used one of the following names.

    Jantsen, Jayden, Jaden, Jaxson, Jagun, Jamison, Kason, Kade, Brodee, Briggs, Caden, Cayden, Brayden, Hayden, Dayton, Payton, Payden, Cooper, Porter, Tel, Kael, Haze, Trell or Tyson.

    If you did, light your fucking self and your fucked up kid on fire.

    These names come from this year's Utah's High School Baseball All-Staters

    http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765694518/High-school-baseball-A-closer-look-at-this-years-5A-4A-3A-and-2A-All-Staters.html

    I can take fucked up liquor laws but I can't tolerate what my fellow Utahns do to their kids.

    Fagged for inferring that the Dad has any say in the matter.
  • GrundleStiltzkin
    GrundleStiltzkin Member Posts: 61,516 Standard Supporter

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
    I'd say the Mormon diaspora is quite different culturally than the in-state (Utah) varietal. In other words, bring Mormon in Provo is quite different than being a Mormon in, say, Bellevue.
    You being a lot of knowledge to the table
    *bring



    *nowledge
    image
  • TierbsHsotBoobs
    TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    salemcoog said:

    89ute said:

    and you found yourself in a position to give a name to a male offspring, you better not have used one of the following names.

    Jantsen, Jayden, Jaden, Jaxson, Jagun, Jamison, Kason, Kade, Brodee, Briggs, Caden, Cayden, Brayden, Hayden, Dayton, Payton, Payden, Cooper, Porter, Tel, Kael, Haze, Trell or Tyson.

    If you did, light your fucking self and your fucked up kid on fire.

    These names come from this year's Utah's High School Baseball All-Staters

    http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765694518/High-school-baseball-A-closer-look-at-this-years-5A-4A-3A-and-2A-All-Staters.html

    I can take fucked up liquor laws but I can't tolerate what my fellow Utahns do to their kids.

    Fagged for inferring that the top Dad has any say in the matter.
  • 89ute
    89ute Member Posts: 2,486
    salemcoog said:

    89ute said:

    and you found yourself in a position to give a name to a male offspring, you better not have used one of the following names.

    Jantsen, Jayden, Jaden, Jaxson, Jagun, Jamison, Kason, Kade, Brodee, Briggs, Caden, Cayden, Brayden, Hayden, Dayton, Payton, Payden, Cooper, Porter, Tel, Kael, Haze, Trell or Tyson.

    If you did, light your fucking self and your fucked up kid on fire.

    These names come from this year's Utah's High School Baseball All-Staters

    http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765694518/High-school-baseball-A-closer-look-at-this-years-5A-4A-3A-and-2A-All-Staters.html

    I can take fucked up liquor laws but I can't tolerate what my fellow Utahns do to their kids.

    Fagged for inferring that the Dad has any say in the matter.
    We're talking moarmonizm here.

    exmormon.org/mormwomn.htm

    "Mormonism has created an ingenious system of oppression, in which opposition towards men is tantamount to arguing with God."
  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,319 Founders Club
    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
    I'd say the Mormon diaspora is quite different culturally than the in-state (Utah) varietal. In other words, bring Mormon in Provo is quite different than being a Mormon in, say, Bellevue.
    You being a lot of knowledge to the table
    Though many people thought I was when I first came to UDub - despite double fisting beers whilst being asked if I was a member - I grew up in So Cal before moving to Utah And I have not one connection whatsoever to the church. I am unbaptized heathen, who questioned the existence of God at an early age.
  • dnc
    dnc Member Posts: 56,840
    89ute said:

    salemcoog said:

    89ute said:

    and you found yourself in a position to give a name to a male offspring, you better not have used one of the following names.

    Jantsen, Jayden, Jaden, Jaxson, Jagun, Jamison, Kason, Kade, Brodee, Briggs, Caden, Cayden, Brayden, Hayden, Dayton, Payton, Payden, Cooper, Porter, Tel, Kael, Haze, Trell or Tyson.

    If you did, light your fucking self and your fucked up kid on fire.

    These names come from this year's Utah's High School Baseball All-Staters

    http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765694518/High-school-baseball-A-closer-look-at-this-years-5A-4A-3A-and-2A-All-Staters.html

    I can take fucked up liquor laws but I can't tolerate what my fellow Utahns do to their kids.

    Fagged for inferring that the Dad has any say in the matter.
    We're talking moarmonizm here.

    exmormon.org/mormwomn.htm

    "Mormonism has created an ingenious system of oppression, in which opposition towards men is tantamount to arguing with God."
    hr, yk

    Can't get to the celestial kingdom unless you're married to a man who's going celestial.

    That's how Joe Smitty created the polygamist paradise called the latter day saints to begin wiff.

    For once, the bitches really do deserve it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu4y7x9LRyY
  • 89ute
    89ute Member Posts: 2,486
    Looking forward to your series against BYU

    image
  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,319 Founders Club

    dnc said:

    dnc said:

    Most popular baby boy name in US in 1999 was Jacob but that doesn't seem right to me for Back the Pac.

    @89ute you know my Utah bonafides are strong, but oh my heck they exercise some poor taste down there.

    Can we get a trigger warning before this kind of language?

    Brodee Trell Porter reads these boreds!

    You obviously haven't spent much time amongst 89Utes peoples.
    If by his people U mean Utahns then correct. If you mean moremans, disagree.
    I'd say the Mormon diaspora is quite different culturally than the in-state (Utah) varietal. In other words, bring Mormon in Provo is quite different than being a Mormon in, say, Bellevue.
    It's still a deranged cult.

















    shit.unleashed.belongs
    In the Mo's defense, it's important to note that all faiths start out as deranged cults and then after many centuries - if you secure enough followers - the cult label is removed. But to a certain extent, it doesn't really matter to me whether the myth and superstition started with an illiterate, treasure hunter in upstate NY or with illiterate peasants in the Middle East.
  • 89ute
    89ute Member Posts: 2,486
    dnc said:

    89ute said:

    salemcoog said:

    89ute said:

    and you found yourself in a position to give a name to a male offspring, you better not have used one of the following names.

    Jantsen, Jayden, Jaden, Jaxson, Jagun, Jamison, Kason, Kade, Brodee, Briggs, Caden, Cayden, Brayden, Hayden, Dayton, Payton, Payden, Cooper, Porter, Tel, Kael, Haze, Trell or Tyson.

    If you did, light your fucking self and your fucked up kid on fire.

    These names come from this year's Utah's High School Baseball All-Staters

    http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765694518/High-school-baseball-A-closer-look-at-this-years-5A-4A-3A-and-2A-All-Staters.html

    I can take fucked up liquor laws but I can't tolerate what my fellow Utahns do to their kids.

    Fagged for inferring that the Dad has any say in the matter.
    We're talking moarmonizm here.

    exmormon.org/mormwomn.htm

    "Mormonism has created an ingenious system of oppression, in which opposition towards men is tantamount to arguing with God."
    hr, yk

    Can't get to the celestial kingdom unless you're married to a man who's going celestial.

    That's how Joe Smitty created the polygamist paradise called the latter day saints to begin wiff.

    For once, the bitches really do deserve it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu4y7x9LRyY
    @Swaye true?
  • dnc
    dnc Member Posts: 56,840

    dnc said:

    89ute said:

    Looking forward to your series against BYU

    image

    True story, Dad 1 was raised Moreman. Apparently back in the 60's Our? Dawgs refused to play BYU because the Mormon church wouldn't let the blicks into the temple. Ergo, Pops' family hates UW. Pops was excommunicated for OKG living in his 20's, but still thought the LDS God was REAL God until his mid 30's so like late 70's. But to this day he still doesn't like UW because that's how he was raised.

    TL;DR: Fuck BYU.
    No wonder you turned out to be so fucked up.
    You have know idea.

    Dad 1s family is the sane one of the bunch.