Christmas Dilemna

Swaye

So, I haven't been around as much lately. Like I feared, actually "dating" a chick requires time and shit. In the newest twist that will probably fuck up my life, the girl has invited me to Christmas dinner with her family. Fuck.

If I don't go, then I might send the first signal that I no longer want to fuck like rabbit monkeys with her. That would be bad, because this chick is dynamite.

If I do go, I am setting myself up for this getting more and more serious, which violates my biggest rule in life - never do anything that aids the "marriage process" in any way shape or form.

One more thing. I am 42. She is 28. Her Dad is 53. This shit would be awkward.

Fuck Christmas.

GrundleStiltzkin

"That is so kind of you to bring a dish with you. What is it?"

"It is a traditional food, Custer."

"Oh lovely, I have not had a Christmas custard since I was a little girl!"

"No. Custer."

H_D

Swaye said:

So, I haven't been around as much lately. Like I feared, actually "dating" a chick requires time and shit. In the newest twist that will probably fuck up my life, the girl has invited me to Christmas dinner with her family. Fuck.

If I don't go, then I might send the first signal that I no longer want to fuck like rabbit monkeys with her. That would be bad, because this chick is dynamite.

If I do go, I am setting myself up for this getting more and more serious, which violates my biggest rule in life - never do anything that aids the "marriage process" in any way shape or form.

One more thing. I am 42. She is 28. Her Dad is 53. This shit would be awkward.

Fuck Christmas.

Tell her that Christmas is a White Man's holiday and celebrating it would make you complicit in the subjugation and exploitation of your injun ancestors.

CFetters_Nacho_Lover

As someone much older (turned 43 last month) and wiser (I have 2 GEDs), I have given much thought to your dilemma brave young warrior and have only this to say to you.

Fuck off! No one cares about you going to her house for Christmas unless any of the following happens:

- you fuck her in the bathroom or in another part of the house
- her mom is a smoking hot cougar and you nail her (photos needed)
- you and the dad get into a feats of strength competition
- her dad is the coolest guy in the world and shares his blow with you
- she has a 26 year old sister and you go home with her instead (photos also needed)

bananasnblondes

Translation for this post: "Hey guys, just wanted to make sure everyone knows I have a girlfriend."

Doogles

As long as you leave a massacre mural on their shed, I don't see what the problem is.

Swaye

bananasnblondes said:

Translation for this post: "Hey guys, just wanted to make sure everyone knows I have a girlfriend."

You say that like it's a good thing.

Swaye

CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:

As someone much older (turned 43 last month) and wiser (I have 2 GEDs), I have given much thought to your dilemma brave young warrior and have only this to say to you.

Fuck off! No one cares about you going to her house for Christmas unless any of the following happens:

- you fuck her in the bathroom or in another part of the house
- her mom is a smoking hot cougar and you nail her (photos needed)
- you and the dad get into a feats of strength competition
- her dad is the coolest guy in the world and shares his blow with you
- she has a 26 year old sister and you go home with her instead (photos also needed)

We share the same brain.

GrundleStiltzkin

Doogles said:

As long as you leave a massacre mural on their shed, I don't see what the problem is.

potd

Swaye

Doogles said:

As long as you leave a massacre mural on their shed, I don't see what the problem is.

I was thinking of showing up dressed exactly like Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation.

DerekJohnson

Swaye said:

Doogles said:

As long as you leave a massacre mural on their shed, I don't see what the problem is.

I was thinking of showing up dressed exactly like Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation.

Is that a Hardcore Husky logo I see on the lapel?

PurpleBaze

bananasnblondes said:

Translation for this post: "Hey guys, just wanted to make sure everyone knows I have a girlfriend."

More like, "Hey guys, I'm boning a 28 year-old."

Fuck you, @Swaye.

skookum

my recommendation would be to consume massive amounts of firewater, cold cock the old man, do both the GF and the sister at the dinner table, then go looking for a new GF. The whole dinner at daddy's is the slippery slope leading to a ball and chain.

which one is the GF?

Swaye

I never said girlfriend. That's a loaded term. I said "dating." This allows me to keep up the fantasy that I am not tied down in anyway.

HuskyJW

You only mentioned the dad...is there no mom in the picture? You didn't say anything so I assume stepmom which we all know isn't a real mom.

Here is what I think is happening....he told her to invite you over cause he wants to see who is f-ing his daughter. It's just what you're supposed to do. She probably didn't even tell him how old you are just that "he's a little older than me....but really cool!" So he has visions of an Anna Nicole Smith/ J Howard Marshall situation. Bring over a bottle of Bulleit and shoot the shit. Hell, become friends with the guy and know you have more roleplay opportunities.

Or just bend stepmom over the kitchen table and walkout.

Swaye

HuskyJW said:

You only mentioned the dad...is there no mom in the picture? You didn't say anything so I assume stepmom which we all know isn't a real mom.

Here is what I think is happening....he told her to invite you over cause he wants to see who is f-ing his daughter. It's just what you're supposed to do. She probably didn't even tell him how old you are just that "he's a little older than me....but really cool!" So he has visions of an Anna Nicole Smith/ J Howard Marshall situation. Bring over a bottle of Bulleit and shoot the shit. Hell, become friends with the guy and know you have more roleplay opportunities.

Or just bend stepmom over the kitchen table and walkout.

I assumed she has two Dads.

dflea

I'll only be impressed if you wind up doing the chick and her mom.

I'd tell you to just drink the dad under the table and then do every chick in the place, but I know you indians find that liquor can be a problem. You seem like an overachieving indian in that respect, though, so it might be worth considering.

PurpleThrobber

Swaye said:

So, I haven't been around as much lately. Like I feared, actually "dating" a chick requires time and shit. In the newest twist that will probably fuck up my life, the girl has invited me to Christmas dinner with her family. Fuck.

If I don't go, then I might send the first signal that I no longer want to fuck like rabbit monkeys with her. That would be bad, because this chick is dynamite.

If I do go, I am setting myself up for this getting more and more serious, which violates my biggest rule in life - never do anything that aids the "marriage process" in any way shape or form.

One more thing. I am 42. She is 28. Her Dad is 53. This shit would be awkward.

Fuck Christmas.

Do the mom with a turkey baster.

Problem solved.

Edit: And fuck me again for about the 1000th time for not reading the entire thread before responding. FREE PUB to @CFetters_Nacho_Lover for the mom idea. Plagiarism my shit, fo' sho'.

Edit#2: And fuck me again for the 1001st time for not reading the entire thread before responding. FREE PUB TO @dflea for seconding the mom idea.

Which leads me to believe that @swaye should do the mom and followup with an casino-like epic tale.

SweatpantsGeneral

Swaye, my friend, you're making an issue out of nothing... Nacho Lover is on the money.

True story last summer I was hanging out with, then tagging a 22 year old --- just kind of happened. (I was 44). I was a tad uncomfortable with it at first, especially since I remember being a twenty something and thinking those guys were cradle robbing douchebags. But she's gorgeous, precocious, and we get along spectacularly well....so there you go. Nothing else matters. And now, I must admit, being a cradle robbing douchebag is a nice place to be.

The greatest thing about it, since she grew up near the white trashy town I am from, she was the product of a high school lack of rubberation. Her mom had her when she was 16. When I met her dad it was cool to remember seeing him roaming the Jr. High halls when I was a Senior in high school. Yes, I'm going to hell.

dflea

koopdog said:

Swaye, my friend, you're making an issue out of nothing... Nacho Lover is on the money.

True story last summer I was hanging out with, then tagging a 22 year old --- just kind of happened. (I was 44). I was a tad uncomfortable with it at first, especially since I remember being a twenty something and thinking those guys were cradle robbing douchebags. But she's gorgeous, precocious, and we get along spectacularly well....so there you go. Nothing else matters. And now, I must admit, being a cradle robbing douchebag is a nice place to be.

The greatest thing about it, since she grew up near the white trashy town I am from, she was the product of a high school lack of rubberation. Her mom had her when she was 16. When I met her dad it was cool to remember seeing him roaming the Jr. High halls when I was a Senior in high school. Yes, I'm going to hell.

This thread is like a Christmas gift.

Fire_Marshall_Bill

Just don't let her move in for a long time or vice versa. I made that mistake.