Swaye, my friend, you're making an issue out of nothing... Nacho Lover is on the money.
True story last summer I was hanging out with, then tagging a 22 year old --- just kind of happened. (I was 44). I was a tad uncomfortable with it at first, especially since I remember being a twenty something and thinking those guys were cradle robbing douchebags. But she's gorgeous, precocious, and we get along spectacularly well....so there you go. Nothing else matters. And now, I must admit, being a cradle robbing douchebag is a nice place to be.
The greatest thing about it, since she grew up near the white trashy town I am from, she was the product of a high school lack of rubberation. Her mom had her when she was 16. When I met her dad it was cool to remember seeing him roaming the Jr. High halls when I was a Senior in high school. Yes, I'm going to hell.
Swaye, my friend, you're making an issue out of nothing... Nacho Lover is on the money.
True story last summer I was hanging out with, then tagging a 22 year old --- just kind of happened. (I was 44). I was a tad uncomfortable with it at first, especially since I remember being a twenty something and thinking those guys were cradle robbing douchebags. But she's gorgeous, precocious, and we get along spectacularly well....so there you go. Nothing else matters. And now, I must admit, being a cradle robbing douchebag is a nice place to be.
The greatest thing about it, since she grew up near the white trashy town I am from, she was the product of a high school lack of rubberation. Her mom had her when she was 16. When I met her dad it was cool to remember seeing him roaming the Jr. High halls when I was a Senior in high school. Yes, I'm going to hell.
Your avatar makes me hate you. Fuck off, you little fucking beaver.
So, I haven't been around as much lately. Like I feared, actually "dating" a chick requires time and shit. In the newest twist that will probably fuck up my life, the girl has invited me to Christmas dinner with her family. Fuck.
If I don't go, then I might send the first signal that I no longer want to fuck like rabbit monkeys with her. That would be bad, because this chick is dynamite.
If I do go, I am setting myself up for this getting more and more serious, which violates my biggest rule in life - never do anything that aids the "marriage process" in any way shape or form.
One more thing. I am 42. She is 28. Her Dad is 53. This shit would be awkward.
Fuck Christmas.
Do the mom with a turkey baster.
Problem solved.
Edit: And fuck me again for about the 1000th time for not reading the entire thread before responding. FREE PUB to @CFetters_Nacho_Lover for the mom idea. Plagiarism my shit, fo' sho'.
Edit#2: And fuck me again for the 1001st time for not reading the entire thread before responding. FREE PUB TO @dflea for seconding the mom idea.
Which leads me to believe that @swaye should do the mom and followup with an casino-like epic tale.
As someone much older (turned 43 last month) and wiser (I have 2 GEDs), I have given much thought to your dilemma brave young warrior and have only this to say to you.
Fuck off! No one cares about you going to her house for Christmas unless any of the following happens:
- you fuck her in the bathroom or in another part of the house - her mom is a smoking hot cougar and you nail her (photos needed) - you and the dad get into a feats of strength competition - her dad is the coolest guy in the world and shares his blow with you - she has a 26 year old sister and you go home with her instead (photos also needed)
Swaye, my friend, you're making an issue out of nothing... Nacho Lover is on the money.
True story last summer I was hanging out with, then tagging a 22 year old --- just kind of happened. (I was 44). I was a tad uncomfortable with it at first, especially since I remember being a twenty something and thinking those guys were cradle robbing douchebags. But she's gorgeous, precocious, and we get along spectacularly well....so there you go. Nothing else matters. And now, I must admit, being a cradle robbing douchebag is a nice place to be.
The greatest thing about it, since she grew up near the white trashy town I am from, she was the product of a high school lack of rubberation. Her mom had her when she was 16. When I met her dad it was cool to remember seeing him roaming the Jr. High halls when I was a Senior in high school. Yes, I'm going to hell.
Your avatar makes me hate you. Fuck off, you little fucking beaver.
It's called irony shitfuck. But, since its Christmas, I fixed it for you.
Swaye, my friend, you're making an issue out of nothing... Nacho Lover is on the money.
True story last summer I was hanging out with, then tagging a 22 year old --- just kind of happened. (I was 44). I was a tad uncomfortable with it at first, especially since I remember being a twenty something and thinking those guys were cradle robbing douchebags. But she's gorgeous, precocious, and we get along spectacularly well....so there you go. Nothing else matters. And now, I must admit, being a cradle robbing douchebag is a nice place to be.
The greatest thing about it, since she grew up near the white trashy town I am from, she was the product of a high school lack of rubberation. Her mom had her when she was 16. When I met her dad it was cool to remember seeing him roaming the Jr. High halls when I was a Senior in high school. Yes, I'm going to hell.
Your avatar makes me hate you. Fuck off, you little fucking beaver.
It's called irony shitfuck. But, since its Christmas, I fixed it for you.
Pleased to be putting that in the Christmas roast rotation.
At least you aren't like that huskylawyer insecure fag who makes his avatar of his "girlfriend" and then makes sure to remind everyone of that and hand out advice that you, too, can get a hot chick like me. What a fuckin douche
Comments
The REAL Swaye would make an excuse to get out of going and still convince the chick to come over after the party
Oh and be drunk
Plus she'd never believe anyone else would ever invite you in to their home.
Yeah yeah 45-10
FO. R
Sooo....story time?