Best Of

Where my dawgs at?!?!

I left Seattle at 2 a.m. because, as every Husky fan knows, real loyalty means sacrificing sleep, dignity and your checking account. Packed the essentials:

• 14 Space Dusts (because light beer is for people who think “Cougar Gold” is a wine, amirite?)
• A Bluetooth speaker preloaded with “Bow Down to Washington” on repeat
• A Patagonia vest (mandatory, ha)
• And, of course, a laminated chart proving Jake Locker > Juice Williams in every conceivable metric.

Flight? Red-eye from Seatown. Middle seat. Between a guy in a WSU hoodie who kept burping “Cougs house!” and a woman who asked if UW was “that school in Wisconsin.”

Landed in Chicago, rented a car. They gave me a Chevy Spark. A SPARK. I’m a Husky, not a hamster. Hit I-74, passed 400 miles of corn, and started questioning if Illinois even has humans or if it’s just a simulation run by John Deere.

Finally, I roll into Memorial Stadium at 7:30 a.m., ready to tailgate like Don James himself is watching. I fire up the Coleman road-tripper, crack a dusty, and blast the fight song loud enough to scare prairie dogs. I’m feeling elite. I’m feeling smug. I’m feeling… alone.

Because here’s the thing: THERE’S NOBODY HERE. No orange. No blue. No bratwurst smoke. Just me, my grill, and a stadium that looks like it’s hosting a library convention. Did Illinois cancel football? El-Oh-El

At this point, I’m wandering the parking lot like a lost Patagonia model, muttering about Marques Tuiasosopo being better than anyone Illinois ever recruited. Red Grange? Cute. Dick Butkus? Adorable. But could they handle the Pac-12 grind? Please.

So yeah, if anyone knows why Champaign looks like the set of The Walking Dead instead of a Big Ten showdown, hit me up. Until then, I’ll be here explaining to the squirrels why Reggie Williams > Brandon Lloyd and sipping my Spacey like the pretentious West Coast elitist I am.

Go Dawgs. Beat Illinois. (If they actually show up, har har.)

When the Jedd at Joey's rumors start circling, we'll know we're on to something 'uge.

give it a rest Damoane

Indiana Hoosiered them by 53

Thank you Stalin!

I've been reading quite a while checking this board every so often, especially recently during games to keep my sanity in check and get a few laughs.

I discovered it during the magical '23 run and became more active reader once Deboner departed.

Never hire a coach who never played a down of football in his life!

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Were 1-61456 taken?

Sounds like new fish needs to learn about TITTT

I’m not too into bashing former players. Micken’s played on teams right before we got good. He had his flaws but was a decent player that we would probably see in a different light if he were a year or two younger and played in 2016-2017.

we need the missing child age modified version

I get it from Manu’s perspective. He’s probably a fringe type NFL player that will never get a dime guaranteed in all likelihood. He wants two years worth of guaranteed NIL vs one. He also plays a position where it’s not that hard to find someone at his level in the portal, so it seems like in the best interest of the program to have him play this year and go replace him next year and get a total of 24 games for the NIL money vs 16.