What I think I think....STD Edition

Swaye said:

Watched the gayme at a buddies house who decided to throw a Pac-12 shitshow late night drink fest. Navy buddy who went to Arizona, so it was nice to have him wanting to watch ASU lose as well. He was happy because Arizona clubbed the shit out of that dumpster fire in Lake Oswego or wherever the Beavers are from. Other guys were all Big 10 grads. Big 10 grads are mostly annoying. One guy I didn't know said he went to Wisconsin. I asked him if his christian name was @PurpleBaze . He said "No, it's Scott," and looked at me funny. We didn't speak the rest of the night but mostly because he was lame and just stared at his beer all night. Wisconsin people are really fucking weird.

Anyway, the slate for the night was Oregon-Tree at 8PM, followed by UW-ASU until the prime time viewing spot of 1:30 AM. Thanks LarryScottFS. CLS and all the ladies just stayed upstairs and did whatever it is women do when men are in the basement watching the gayme on a 70" screen in HD. What do women do then? Talk bad about the men I assume? I never went upstairs. He had a fridge in the basement with six cases of beer in it. This guy also got catering from a barbeque joint that afternoon so we had all the pork and brisket we couId eat. I liked the food, but I hate it when people with money show off that they have money and you don't. CLS felt right at home I'm sure in this environment. Speaking of CLS, I can't remember it but she drove me home and is asleep in the other room right now. I didn't piss funny this morning so I guess we didn't fuck. I did get a text from my buddy saying I missed the toilet and pissed all over the floor of his bathroom before I left the house at 2AM, so that's nice.

- Welp, Oregon is better than I thought but still sucks and Cuog'ed it against another Pac-12 retard who thinks they are intellectually brutal. The brutal part is correct. Was fun watching the life get ripped out of thousands of Eugene white trash losers at once though.
- The Pac-12 is an abortion of a conference.
- Jake Browning played his best gayme in ages - this means he did nothing special at all, and certainly made no plays that took your breath away or made you think "There is a 4th year Senior Cobra ready to strike." He basically made no major mistakes and kept everything in front of him. A better way to describe a great Shitsox game would be nondescript. But I'll take it. Hand off to our kick ass backs and let the D play hard and don't fuck it up - that's the best we can hope for with this retarded gerbil. But good game though Jake. I still hate you and know you will rip my heart out this year.
- BBK played his best gayme in ages and seemed to be all over the field, and only about half the time was he being dragged all over the field. Good game BBK. I still hate you.
- Getting to players I don't hate, CADE MOTHERFUCKIGN OTTEN! Fuck yes! Finally a white boy I don't want to scalp. Kid played great. Hell, all the TE's played great. Maybe Bush read my thought last week where I mentioned it appeared we had shipped all of our TE's to some mystery island in the Pacific. Sample blocked well last night as well. Great game by the TE's.
- WR's weren't asked to do too much but in their limited action Fuller was great as always, Ty made a good snag or two, and Chocula had the game winning toe pick at the end. Good night.
- OL finally looked they weren't functionally retarded last night. Harris played great in all phases I thought. CENTER is where he should have always played. Much more natural for him. So, pass pro was the best it has been all year by far, which is why Jake was able to play to his nondescript ceiling, but the run blocking was suspect at times. Much of the yardage running was from misdirection and broken tackles by the terrorist and fuck her until she shits. Anyway A- for pass pro and B for run blocking. I was pretty drunk so take these scoring metrics as gospel from an alcoholic. (EDIT: Just reading other posts and saw @GreenRiverGatorz mention Harris had a bunch of fucked up snaps. I guess I recall some low snaps but was either too drunk or didn't care enough for it to register)
- RB's, not much to say. They kick ass every week. I hope all you degenerates realize how lucky we are to have gone from Polk to Sankey to Gaskin to Terrorist. Too bad all of Polk and most of Sankey were wasted on a mouth breather.
- DL was underwhelming to me. They held up in the first half, but were getting gashed a bit in the second. And my bladder was under more pressure than Wilkins all night. They get a C. I still love you Greg! Don't eat me.
- LBers had a good night led by our midget try hard warrior BBK. See above.
- DBU looked good and kept everything in front of them and held one of the best WR in the Pac-12 to almost nothing. Made me miss watching Covey get killed last week, but whatever.
- We finally have a kicker who makes FG's! NOGAF I guess but I do like feeling like lining up for 3 we will most likely get it instead of the carnival ride our FG's have been the last few years.
- Pete I still hate you but you won and winners win so good job. Bush, if the trick play works at the start you look like a genius but if it doesn't you look like a moron. Thanks moron. Other than that a pretty well called gayme I thought.

Meh. Closer than I expected, mostly because against all odds Herm seems to have his kids ready to play. @Pitchfork51 don't worry too much about it because Herm might actually end up pretty good and even if he isn't you can still take an Uber to get Taco Bell fire shits before banging out skanky real estate agents. So, we get some more Mormons to beat up on next week except these Mormons might be better than the last Mormons so hopefully Pete doesn't shit himself because it appears the AD already purchased FireCorchPete.com so FUCK!

Here's some tits on a whore who looks like she went to ASU during the glory days of the late Dennis Erickson era and was probably filming her first porn movie during last nights gayme. I love her. YMMV because you are probably gay.

A classic to be saved in the time capsule. Oh and tell your friend to fuck off for calling you to tell you about pissing on the floor. What's the point of that? Does he think you're going to run over and clean it up? Tell him to get the broad in there to deal with it; it's women's work.

Agree with everything, except that I think browning did make one or two passes that, while not quite take your breath away, were pretty sweet. But I agree, he is such a cock sucker that it's hard to ever give him any credit for anything. He's just one of those QBs who can win a lot on the right teamif you protect the shit out of him and he accepts his caretaker role. If he has to do anything resembling a scramble or any kind of athletic creativity,then you're fucked.

I often wonder if anybody on the team other than Gaskin likes him. Having Gaskin as your buddy on that team gives you a lot of cred and a lot of room for error; but I wonder if the real bad asses, like Jojo, Murphy, Gaines, Rapp & Co secretly want to beat his ass with pillowcases filled with bars of soap full metal jacket style.

Swaye said:

Also, anyone of you Dad's know anything about something called ninja gym? She said one Mom was talking about how much her little shits loved ninja gym...wat da fuq is that? Because if you can actually train kids to become ninjas and hire them out as a private army, I would finally see some value in having them.

This is mostly for upper-middle-class white suburban fucks who have realized early on that they did not marry good athletic genes. Really sounds like a white thing if you axe me.

89ute said:

I hear Jake is the TUFFEST Husky.

As painful as this is to write, he really is kind of tough. The fucking kid can take a beating. There was a thread about this last week. When he's playing like shit, and he's getting the mother loving shit beat out of uim, you'd? want him to head to the sidelines. But the fucker always gets up.

Pete said in his post game kick ass presser that the trick play call was all on him … so probably not worth bashing Bush too much on that one.