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Your worst sports moment of all time.
longduckdong
Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 1,050 
Not your friends, not one you saw, your Casey Paus moment in time. Had to google Casey’s last name for spelling correctiveness.
Ill start.
3rd / 4th grade. Pitcher. Dad’s friend was coach, let me start since they drank beer together. Was getting shelled, infielders were telling me just to get an out. Fat kid jacks a grand salami and I walked off mound, glove in hand bawling my bitch eyes out.
Fun fact. My BFF was coaches kid, think he threw 9 pitches and struck out the side. I mentioned this in best man speech.
Comments
I always did well at basketball and football, but baseball I sometimes struggled. I made the All-Star team once, but otherwise was mediocre (as a hitter). Looking back, I can see that I lacked confidence at the plate. I remember a game when I was about 12 where I came up with our team down one run and the bases were loaded with two outs in the final inning. I struck out on three pitches. I wanted to dig a hole to the center of the earth and crawl into it.
One other season, I had a manager whom I always pestered to let me pitch. Somehow I finally got him to let me on the mound. I don't remember the context of the game, if we were ahead or behind, etc. But I faced the 7-8-9 hitters and struck out the side. (One or two of the hitters were girls). As we came off the field I received a King's welcome in the dugout. I said "Are you going to keep letting me pitch?" The coach kept slapping me on the back and yelled "You're damn right I'm gonna keep letting you pitch! Way to go!"
The next inning I went out there, and gave up two doubles and two triples. Couldn't get an out. Manager came out and took the ball and mumbled something about needing me at third base. I never pitched again in an organized setting.
I jumped off the top rope of my bunk bed and unfortunately the noose was too long.
Got tea bagged by a future D1 player player on a dunk. Should have been a charge but the refs swallowed the whistle
Drew a charge on a future NFL tight end who stuck his knee in my groin. Hurt like shit. Dick swelled up like a potato.
High ankle sprain trying to guard a future NFL player. Crumbled like a victim of an Allen Iverson crossover.
Literally shit my pants at a third grade baseball practice.
Went an entire season wiithout getting a hit in fifth grade. Later learned of an accute stigmatism and I should have been hitting left handed. Couldn’t even see out of my left eye. Also explained why I could shoot a basketball like a motherfucker because my right eye was so dominant - like a scope on a rifle.
Knocked out cold taking a charge in a fucking church league game in my late 30s
Choked out an opposing coach in an AAU game Refs were oblivious and my assistant pulled me back before chaos ensued
Probably some more but those were the lowlights
The Throbber can still finger roll. In hindsight, taking charges was fucking stupid
Funny thread considering I coached my first minor league baseball game last night. Our 9 year old pitcher was walking the bases loaded and sobbing so I went to talk to him, assuming he’s freaking out about having no control. Nope…he felt bad about pelting the hitter who was now on first base.
Oh yeah…these kids still have empathy for other human beings.🤣🤔🤔
I lost to CAL.
My first appearance as a college pitcher. I was scheduled to start the next day, so I’m lounging in the dugout with a big fatty in, no spikes on, no uniform top on, bundled up against the cold. I had played catch briefly during warmups, and had run 10 poles (foul pole to foul pole), and was slightly hung over.
1st inning that day, the starter loads the bases, and the next pitch blows his elbow out. The Corch comes back to the dugout with him, looks around, and points at ME. As I’m scrambling to put my spikes on and find my jersey and glove, he says “don’t go to the pen, just warm up from the mound, you get as many as you need”…
As I get out there, the opponent line up is in front of the dugout, with bats, timing up every pitch. The first pitch I threw in a college game was rocketed into the gap for a 3 run triple. I got shit about that for years. Fun tims…
Ah yes you told me the dunk story a couple years ago.
Former poster @TommySQC once coached little league and had a pitcher who was struggling. Tommy called time out and went to the mound for a chat. He told the kid to clear his mind and just try focusing on the hot girl sitting right behind home plate. To which the kid replied in horror, "Ewww! That's my sister!"
The only tim I ever played little league was third grade. I was terrible, but so was the pitching, so I walked a lot. Looking back, I had a horrible glove, which didn't help things.
IIn fourth or fifth grade, I scored all three points and we lost 30-3 or something in basketball. My dad was the interim coach. He took over mid season. We had some college kids (maybe they were 22 or 23 at the most) who co-coached and just bailed. We were terrible. A couple years later, we had a hardass and low and behold, we won.
Since I thought this was for vicarious stuff, my wurst SEattle sports moment was when the Sonics lost to the 8th seeded Nuggets in 1994. I totally lost it.
Got ejected from a lacrosse game for doing the Mighty Ducks fight at a kid. Throw down you stick, shake off the gloves, grab his mask and start punching the jaw.
As I was walking to the sideline the opposing coach started taunting me and called me "fatty" so I tackled him. Other team was dirty as all get out, so I don't feel bad, but my parents were pretty embarassed about it.
Probably losing to RA Long a week after beating Mead in Lumen field and being considered one of the best 3a teams in the state early in the year.
Minor concussion securing a fumble. Dropping a conference game to anyone but the eventual first place team (Columbia River or Kelso) hadn't happened in years up to that point.
My memory of @TommySQC has the kid simply saying, “Coach, that’s my sister.”
I know a guy who’s a musician. Before his very first solo gig, I asked him if he was nervous. He oh yeah. Told him the above story and he had a good laugh and said it calmed his nerves a bit.
This thread inspired me to post this.
You lying fuck J. You didnt play sports. You played sports at home by yourself, with an imaginary team and an imaginary "coach", ie den leader and scout master. Sodomy hurts, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. We here at hh are here for you. Not me, but your fellow den masters who suffered the same unfortunate poopsickles you did. Talk amongst yourselves, puppy gonna slip out the backdoor for a beer. Sorry about the reference .
And J, you didnt play hockey either. Tough kids play hockey. A 7 year old hockey player could kick your ass. Thomas and ex are already in the hospital
Junior football, on all white teams playing all black teams in the CD. We'd get beat like 99-0.
Fingerling potato, or a big russet?
Senior year of golf, we kinda came out of nowhere to win the team district championship. We beat those snooty fags from Mark Morris, who won every other year of my high school career I’m pretty sure. I was in a 6 man playoff for two spots at state. Everyone from all the teams was following the group. I topped my fuckin drive off number 1 at Riverside(now number 10), and 3 putted for double when a bogey would have gotten me to state.
I forgot my white gloves during my rookie year in the band and got photographed during “America the Beautiful” not wearing them. It became a training tool.
TITTT
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I don’t think all of our worst sports moments combined can be any worse than what @VanillaSupport and @Vanillatest have done to this bored.
Shitting my pants in third grade baseball practice is a decent comparison.
Except that was cleaned up in about 10 minutes.