Announcement for the Bored (I hate myself so I am getting married)
Comments
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Pitchfork51 said:
U lying fuck swayeSwaye said:
This is actually exactly how I picture you two. I'll let you guess who I think has the porn stache.UW_Doog_Bot said:
@backthepack and I confirmed crashing at this point. Don't mind what we slip in the punch bowl. It's all for the best.Swaye said:
You are thinking of PNW Injuns. For our appetizer we are serving roasted grubs, followed by corn, and then buffalo (wings). Open bar stocked only with firewater, and snakes and sparklers for the kiddies. Mescaline doled out in the trailer behind the bowling alley.BleachedAnusDawg said:It took seeing three different references to @Swaye getting married and having a kid for me to click on this announcement. I never pay attention to the announcement threads, and now I am shaking and about to vomit.
Best white man name for Swaye would be Jake. Can't get enough of Jake hawt talk on this board.
What I want to know is if you're upgrading to a two-room teepee with the little one on the way, or maybe even springing for one of those long halls like they have at Tillicum Village?
Can we assume the dinner menu for the wedding reception consists of various corn dishes, smoked salmon, and whale blubber?
You know btp can't grow hair on his ballsack -
As a white person myself, I can tell you that we generally don't play "The long game" well. She was probably just looking for some poor sap to put the seed to ground and the act of taming and breaking a wild stallion was just an added bonus. If she were Chinese then you may have had cause to worry. She would already have investments for your retirement and probably a new man all ready to take your place upon your death. If you lived longer than expectation you may need to invest in a food taster as appointments are meant to be kept. That's a patient culture that will wait generations to inflict maximum pain on an enemy. Being white she will probably just divorce you for not changing enough. Instead of "change" she will say something like "evolve" and you will know it's over. Paying child support until your 65 will be speshul. Congrats man!Swaye said:
Yes, and bury me outside on a scaffold she builds herself and ties together with her own hair. The only downer is she is also supposed to cover me in blankets, which will delight many assholes here.GrundleStiltzkin said:So she’s younger, you’re older and Indian. When you chinevitably die sooner, will she be required to cut off a finger in mourning, as is the custom with your people?
The shitty reality is since I am 15 years older than her, and dudes already live shorter lives, and my years have been "hard living" years, she will probably bury me in her mid-50s and then use all my Orkin savings on the next asshole. Her devious white devil plan all along? -
I just realized that when @BleachedAnusDawg does a vote up, the arrow points right to the poop shoot.
I laffed. -
May your first child, be a masculine child.
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Yeah, this shit really does happen for you young bucks. This isn't a made-up story. Shit really goes down.dnc said:
So freaking true.Gladstone said:
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.
We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:
"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".
Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination.
Social media + girls and women will be the downfall of society. -
Mrs Piss has probably fired a good half dozen frens due to social media.creepycoug said:
Yeah, this shit really does happen for you young bucks. This isn't a made-up story. Shit really goes down.dnc said:
So freaking true.Gladstone said:
Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.1to392831weretaken said:Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.
We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:
"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".
Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination.
Social media + girls and women will be the downfall of society. -
Who would have thought that the end of my life would have generated 9 pages of hilarity at my expense?
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You are the Yin to my Yang.
You are a red man marrying a white woman about to have a pink kid.
I am a white man who married a red woman and have two pink kids.
Welcome to the club brother!
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My hero is dead. Spirit Horse weeps.
That is all. -
What’s your address?Swaye said:Who would have thought that the end of my life would have generated 9 pages of hilarity at my expense?
