Tug Tavern Naming Rights Auction


So, this year, we have a fun little exercise is douching all over your neighbors. I will be running an auction to rename the Tug Tavern for a year. There is some fine print, so read this closely because bids of any kind will hereby signify you have read and understand these rules and no amount of bitching or whining later will result in anything other than me IP banning you and sending a giant box full of cow shit to your home or place of business. @creepycoug was consulted on these rules, making them legally binding, before he got arrested in Havana protesting the government.
1) You can choose a nice slow strategy approach and simply name it after yourself. e.g. Tug Tavern Presented by @PurpleThrobber
2) You can go fast strategy and name it something a little more racy like @Doog_de_Jour "Tenderloin" or The Pitched Tent displayed by @Boner
3) You can go full on ThunderDome and use your naming rights to blow up frequent Tug denizens (see below for examples):
@Sledog Boogaloo
@Bitchfork Fat Chick Lounge
@QBannon Conspiracy Theatre
@HuskyJW Face Diaper Resort
@HHusky Gal Pal Gay Bar
@allpurpleallgold Welfare World
@obk 5G Spa and Retreat
You get the idea. You need to be clever (probably more clever than those examples), because while we will let you blow people up or be a little racy, you cannot go full on get down XXX style with " @MikeDamone 's Pussy Pounder Palace" or whatever shit you degenerates might come up with. @Stalin told me the names chosen will be at my discretion, and I am all about latitude, but don't get crazy. If you want to verify ahead of time that you will be allowed to use a certain title you can DM me. I get that you don't want to bid $250 bucks for something only to be told you can't use it, but if you keep it reasonable most shit will fly.
Bidding will be a combo of silent (DM me) and public (throw it in this thread if you want to). If someone DMs me a bid I will not come here and announce it, so bids can be kept completely secret. Even after the bored is named if you like - if you win but want to name it without being known, ever, that's the way it will be. If you want everyone to know I will announce it publicly. I will be giving hints as to the status of the bids that come in by DM, just not the bidder. I don't want people thinking 100 bucks names this thing if I've already received a 500 bid privately, so I will provide some general guidance as this thing goes on. So whatever goes. Throw your bid out here for the world to see, send it privately, be known as the winner one day or completely unknown forever. Whatever. Just fucking pay me.
Payment will be at the conclusion of this bitch. August 15th. No if's, and's or butt's. No payment then second place gets it and I call you out publicly for ridicule and scorn. If you have ever wanted your name in lights, or to publicly ridicule someone, or something (Biden and Trump are fair game here) for an entire year, this is your chance! Payment will be made to Derek via the same PayPal link we always use.
So, get to it. Surprises at others expense are magical.




edit: Fupdate! If bidding reaches 200 bucks winner not only gets naming rights but also a sweet HH Beer Mug - more details on page 2 of this thread and mug is shown in general donations thread.
Comments
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Bids are on the Football Page (same thread same title). I am leading, of course.
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@RedRocket has taken the lead. This place might be known as Hondo's Love Dungeon for the next year.
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Probably for the best. It inferred you like fat chicks.Pitchfork51 said: -
I bid $1 Bob
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Bid on main page is at 85 bucks, but good job, good effort.Fire_Marshall_Bill said:I bid $1 Bob
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That was not a good effort. It was remarkably shitty, actually.Swaye said:
Bid on main page is at 85 bucks, but good job, good effort.Fire_Marshall_Bill said:I bid $1 Bob
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Bid is now 100 bucks. Peggers Paradise. Nobody has used this moment to blow up a person yet. Sad. So many Tuggers are just begging to be made a mockery of for an entire year.
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I'm using it to elevate. As big Mike Obama says, when they go low we go high.Swaye said:Bid is now 100 bucks. Peggers Paradise. Nobody has used this moment to blow up a person yet. Sad. So many Tuggers are just begging to be made a mockery of for an entire year.
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Back to Hondo's Love Dungeon.
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Better than 70% of the shit that passes for humor by you dorks thoughGreenRiverGatorz said:
That was not a good effort. It was remarkably shitty, actually.Swaye said:
Bid on main page is at 85 bucks, but good job, good effort.Fire_Marshall_Bill said:I bid $1 Bob
Head on back to your safe space faggot
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If I win I’ll name it the Tug Tavern.
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Thanks for the shoutout!
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Says the guy with that sigSwaye said:
Probably for the best. It inferred you like fat chicks.Pitchfork51 said:
Sad!! -
@DJDuck would like to know if he has any store credit. Staff?
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Can't believe you keep the Tug Naming Rights scoreboard on the Foorball Fags bored!
We need a ruling! -
I'm hoping the winner calls it the "BBC and Blondes" bored.
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Ricks Dream Girls in the lead at $112 bucks
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There was a strong move at $111 to go with The Lemon Party.
Also, we seem to be moving in one dollar increments, which makes sense with all of you cheap degenerate fucks -
Kinda like tuning into the Olympics to watch athletic competitionBlu82 said:Can't believe you keep the Tug Naming Rights scoreboard on the Foorball Fags bored!
We need a ruling!
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Feckless Centristville
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Not Damone's Bar?MikeDamone said:If I win I’ll name it the Tug Tavern.
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This is my get out the vote effort. An ID is required, so that eliminates half this shithole, but for the rest of you are we really going to let this place be called Ricks Dream Girls for a year? It's 113 bucks to top it. 125 if you actually have hair on your balls. Im in negotiations with Stalin to see if he will allow Kamalas Slaver Ship as the name....not looking good...Ill keep trying.
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I had no intention of winning but will laugh like an idiot hyena if I do win.Swaye said:This is my get out the vote effort. An ID is required, so that eliminates half this shithole, but for the rest of you are we really going to let this place be called Ricks Dream Girls for a year? It's 113 bucks to top it. 125 if you actually have hair on your balls. Im in negotiations with Stalin to see if he will allow Kamalas Slaver Ship as the name....not looking good...Ill keep trying.
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Attention degenerates! In his wisdom Stalin has graciously offered up a beer mug to whoever wins the auction, provided bidding goes over 200 bucks. So, if you already Wam'ed, but wanted that second mug PLUS a chance to be famous for a year, this is your moment. Or, if you didn't Wam but really wanted that sweet sweet mug, here's your chance! Bid it up! 200 bucks takes a mug and the name for a year! Get excited!
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That was tried. Chapter 11 bankruptcy I think was the resultDerekJohnson said:
Not Damone's Bar?MikeDamone said:If I win I’ll name it the Tug Tavern.
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Are Sven bucks being accepted?
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No, it’s bad for our brand.BleachedAnusDawg said:Are Sven bucks being accepted?