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Tug Tavern Naming Rights Auction
Swaye
Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,511 
It's that tim of year when the Politburo here at Hardcore Husky whores itself out for every dollar it can beg, borrow or steal to keep the lights on and pay for other "essentials." You think my cigar, knife, gun and watch collecting lifestyle comes cheap?
So, this year, we have a fun little exercise is douching all over your neighbors. I will be running an auction to rename the Tug Tavern for a year. There is some fine print, so read this closely because bids of any kind will hereby signify you have read and understand these rules and no amount of bitching or whining later will result in anything other than me IP banning you and sending a giant box full of cow shit to your home or place of business. @creepycoug was consulted on these rules, making them legally binding, before he got arrested in Havana protesting the government.
1) You can choose a nice slow strategy approach and simply name it after yourself. e.g. Tug Tavern Presented by @PurpleThrobber
2) You can go fast strategy and name it something a little more racy like @Doog_de_Jour "Tenderloin" or The Pitched Tent displayed by @Boner
3) You can go full on ThunderDome and use your naming rights to blow up frequent Tug denizens (see below for examples):
@Sledog Boogaloo
@Bitchfork Fat Chick Lounge
@QBannon Conspiracy Theatre
@HuskyJW Face Diaper Resort
@HHusky Gal Pal Gay Bar
@allpurpleallgold Welfare World
@obk 5G Spa and Retreat
You get the idea. You need to be clever (probably more clever than those examples), because while we will let you blow people up or be a little racy, you cannot go full on get down XXX style with " @MikeDamone 's Pussy Pounder Palace" or whatever shit you degenerates might come up with. @Stalin told me the names chosen will be at my discretion, and I am all about latitude, but don't get crazy. If you want to verify ahead of time that you will be allowed to use a certain title you can DM me. I get that you don't want to bid $250 bucks for something only to be told you can't use it, but if you keep it reasonable most shit will fly.
Bidding will be a combo of silent (DM me) and public (throw it in this thread if you want to). If someone DMs me a bid I will not come here and announce it, so bids can be kept completely secret. Even after the bored is named if you like - if you win but want to name it without being known, ever, that's the way it will be. If you want everyone to know I will announce it publicly. I will be giving hints as to the status of the bids that come in by DM, just not the bidder. I don't want people thinking 100 bucks names this thing if I've already received a 500 bid privately, so I will provide some general guidance as this thing goes on. So whatever goes. Throw your bid out here for the world to see, send it privately, be known as the winner one day or completely unknown forever. Whatever. Just fucking pay me.
Payment will be at the conclusion of this bitch. August 15th. No if's, and's or butt's. No payment then second place gets it and I call you out publicly for ridicule and scorn. If you have ever wanted your name in lights, or to publicly ridicule someone, or something (Biden and Trump are fair game here) for an entire year, this is your chance! Payment will be made to Derek via the same PayPal link we always use.
So, get to it. Surprises at others expense are magical.
edit: Fupdate! If bidding reaches 200 bucks winner not only gets naming rights but also a sweet HH Beer Mug - more details on page 2 of this thread and mug is shown in general donations thread.
So, this year, we have a fun little exercise is douching all over your neighbors. I will be running an auction to rename the Tug Tavern for a year. There is some fine print, so read this closely because bids of any kind will hereby signify you have read and understand these rules and no amount of bitching or whining later will result in anything other than me IP banning you and sending a giant box full of cow shit to your home or place of business. @creepycoug was consulted on these rules, making them legally binding, before he got arrested in Havana protesting the government.
1) You can choose a nice slow strategy approach and simply name it after yourself. e.g. Tug Tavern Presented by @PurpleThrobber
2) You can go fast strategy and name it something a little more racy like @Doog_de_Jour "Tenderloin" or The Pitched Tent displayed by @Boner
3) You can go full on ThunderDome and use your naming rights to blow up frequent Tug denizens (see below for examples):
@Sledog Boogaloo
@Bitchfork Fat Chick Lounge
@QBannon Conspiracy Theatre
@HuskyJW Face Diaper Resort
@HHusky Gal Pal Gay Bar
@allpurpleallgold Welfare World
@obk 5G Spa and Retreat
You get the idea. You need to be clever (probably more clever than those examples), because while we will let you blow people up or be a little racy, you cannot go full on get down XXX style with " @MikeDamone 's Pussy Pounder Palace" or whatever shit you degenerates might come up with. @Stalin told me the names chosen will be at my discretion, and I am all about latitude, but don't get crazy. If you want to verify ahead of time that you will be allowed to use a certain title you can DM me. I get that you don't want to bid $250 bucks for something only to be told you can't use it, but if you keep it reasonable most shit will fly.
Bidding will be a combo of silent (DM me) and public (throw it in this thread if you want to). If someone DMs me a bid I will not come here and announce it, so bids can be kept completely secret. Even after the bored is named if you like - if you win but want to name it without being known, ever, that's the way it will be. If you want everyone to know I will announce it publicly. I will be giving hints as to the status of the bids that come in by DM, just not the bidder. I don't want people thinking 100 bucks names this thing if I've already received a 500 bid privately, so I will provide some general guidance as this thing goes on. So whatever goes. Throw your bid out here for the world to see, send it privately, be known as the winner one day or completely unknown forever. Whatever. Just fucking pay me.
Payment will be at the conclusion of this bitch. August 15th. No if's, and's or butt's. No payment then second place gets it and I call you out publicly for ridicule and scorn. If you have ever wanted your name in lights, or to publicly ridicule someone, or something (Biden and Trump are fair game here) for an entire year, this is your chance! Payment will be made to Derek via the same PayPal link we always use.
So, get to it. Surprises at others expense are magical.
edit: Fupdate! If bidding reaches 200 bucks winner not only gets naming rights but also a sweet HH Beer Mug - more details on page 2 of this thread and mug is shown in general donations thread.
Comments
I’m pretty confident I’ll win this.