This was the worst type of meeting. Sales staff in Asia keeps me up until 10 at night so they can ask me how to position our shit (I'm not Sales I'm the magic man who gets shit done). After explaining to their dumbasses how we could do X for an hour I still had no faith they could actually explain it to a customer. These clowns couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel. So what will happen is I will get on the call with the customer and do their job for them, but they will still get the bonus when I close the deal and my team will just get more work.
This guy is great. He says that if they are going to have more women on their board they have to do something to limit the amount of time they talk because women talk to too much.
This was the worst type of meeting. Sales staff in Asia keeps me up until 10 at night so they can ask me how to position our shit (I'm not Sales I'm the magic man who gets shit done). After explaining to their dumbasses how we could do X for an hour I still had no faith they could actually explain it to a customer. These clowns couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel. So what will happen is I will get on the call with the customer and do their job for them, but they will still get the bonus when I close the deal and my team will just get more work.
In short, fuck sales they can eat my fucking ass.
This is basically my job, design the product and get it off the ground, except then have our CCO realize hmmm no one we have can sell this, guess we better make whlinder the sales guy. Except there is no commission and all this intl travel I thought I was going to do in 2020 evaporated into 10pm calls (or 7am ones). I've been successful enough at it and gotten it market credibility so that now some dummies can probably pick it up from me and I can go take my generalist role to tell people what the next big thing is we need to build and stop working so much.
This was the worst type of meeting. Sales staff in Asia keeps me up until 10 at night so they can ask me how to position our shit (I'm not Sales I'm the magic man who gets shit done). After explaining to their dumbasses how we could do X for an hour I still had no faith they could actually explain it to a customer. These clowns couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel. So what will happen is I will get on the call with the customer and do their job for them, but they will still get the bonus when I close the deal and my team will just get more work.
In short, fuck sales they can eat my fucking ass.
How do you get the bidness that puts food on the table and watches on the wrist ?
The new sales reps at our company (who fucking suck) keeping asking us for reports on their territory. Like bitch you make all your money from new business. Fuck your territory. If I were you I'd never call a single customer. (They get like a kicker if the territory numbers grow )
I have legit real time dashboards on their commissions and quota rates from a damn power bi data scientist consultant. Like fuck you. Sell something
I've made it so easy. All they have to do is sell. There is virtually zero bs administrative stuff. Pricing, new account creation, agreements, etc all totally automated with a few clicks.
The new sales reps at our company (who fucking suck) keeping asking us for reports on their territory. Like bitch you make all your money from new business. Fuck your territory. If I were you I'd never call a single customer. (They get like a kicker if the territory numbers grow )
I have legit real time dashboards on their commissions and quota rates from a damn power bi data scientist consultant. Like fuck you. Sell something
I've made it so easy. All they have to do is sell. There is virtually zero bs administrative stuff. Pricing, new account creation, agreements, etc all totally automated with a few clicks.
I was asked (as in managers asked the owner to force us, of course with no tech people present) to make a custom billing and subscription system, plus a bunch of implementation tools, 100% in house. Engineers said, "Ughh so we're going to make tools that could potentially take longer than our main platform took, built for people that we pay, instead of people that pay us? While we already work our balls off to support pandemic growth and influx of customers?"
I didn't exactly say no, just slowly over time owner and vp came to the realization on their own of how embarrassing the situation was and tuned them out on it.
The new sales reps at our company (who fucking suck) keeping asking us for reports on their territory. Like bitch you make all your money from new business. Fuck your territory. If I were you I'd never call a single customer. (They get like a kicker if the territory numbers grow )
I have legit real time dashboards on their commissions and quota rates from a damn power bi data scientist consultant. Like fuck you. Sell something
I've made it so easy. All they have to do is sell. There is virtually zero bs administrative stuff. Pricing, new account creation, agreements, etc all totally automated with a few clicks.
I was asked (as in managers asked the owner to force us, of course with no tech people present) to make a custom billing and subscription system, plus a bunch of implementation tools, 100% in house. Engineers said, "Ughh so we're going to make tools that could potentially take longer than our main platform took, built for people that we pay, instead of people that pay us? While we already work our balls off to support pandemic growth and influx of customers?"
I didn't exactly say no, just slowly over time owner and vp came to the realization on their own of how embarrassing the situation was and tuned them out on it.
Yeah I have given them everything that I never had in sales.
Basically so they have no excuse and we have to do it all over again
Turns out hiring cute 25 year old girls who hustle and get in doctors offices is the right call then inside sales. Shocker.
The new sales reps at our company (who fucking suck) keeping asking us for reports on their territory. Like bitch you make all your money from new business. Fuck your territory. If I were you I'd never call a single customer. (They get like a kicker if the territory numbers grow )
I have legit real time dashboards on their commissions and quota rates from a damn power bi data scientist consultant. Like fuck you. Sell something
I've made it so easy. All they have to do is sell. There is virtually zero bs administrative stuff. Pricing, new account creation, agreements, etc all totally automated with a few clicks.
I was asked (as in managers asked the owner to force us, of course with no tech people present) to make a custom billing and subscription system, plus a bunch of implementation tools, 100% in house. Engineers said, "Ughh so we're going to make tools that could potentially take longer than our main platform took, built for people that we pay, instead of people that pay us? While we already work our balls off to support pandemic growth and influx of customers?"
I didn't exactly say no, just slowly over time owner and vp came to the realization on their own of how embarrassing the situation was and tuned them out on it.
Also don't forget I am by far the best sales person in the company. Because I built the systems. I can sell to anyone in full confidence why they should by from us. Its super legit. Far superior to the competition.
Our shortcomings are on the purchasing and warehousing side. The customer to order experience is easily the best. Honestly I can't make it any better. Anything is a slight incremental improvement.
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
Comments
and I thought my Friday at 4:30 meetings sucked
I've been successful enough at it and gotten it market credibility so that now some dummies can probably pick it up from me and I can go take my generalist role to tell people what the next big thing is we need to build and stop working so much.
I have legit real time dashboards on their commissions and quota rates from a damn power bi data scientist consultant. Like fuck you. Sell something
I've made it so easy. All they have to do is sell. There is virtually zero bs administrative stuff. Pricing, new account creation, agreements, etc all totally automated with a few clicks.
I didn't exactly say no, just slowly over time owner and vp came to the realization on their own of how embarrassing the situation was and tuned them out on it.
Basically so they have no excuse and we have to do it all over again
Turns out hiring cute 25 year old girls who hustle and get in doctors offices is the right call then inside sales. Shocker.
Its super legit. Far superior to the competition.
Our shortcomings are on the purchasing and warehousing side. The customer to order experience is easily the best. Honestly I can't make it any better. Anything is a slight incremental improvement.
https://time.com/4837536/do-women-really-talk-more/
“In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.”
*flea jumps away
*Cracks knuckles*