New Hardcore Husky advice column
Comments
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Dear Octavian,Octavian said:
Salutem HardcoreAnnLanders
I am VI foot V former Roman Caesar and Julian Dynastia Star. I warred at the highest level in a Gladitorium State.
Before Romulus and Remus there was Aeneas, son of Venus, a Trojan who fought in the Trojan War - a valiant
hero who sired the ancestors of Latium.
I am hearing that one Sam Darnold, a barbaricus, lives for FORUMS such as these. Furthermore, that he plied his
professio in the COLLOSEUM, and warred with the Trojans. My shades have been watching live and in transitum
buttfucker.
I am here to decree that these imposters and plebes stop appropriating our cultura. In other verbis, find the era
where this belongs. Stop plagiarism our shit you barbitus cunts ya. Tell them they are little more than timidus
cattus - that they really don't want any in real life.
I like your style. You’re far more entertaining than these other mouth breathers that write to me. However, you might want to consider taking up your grievances on the Half Brain History or Tug Tavern message boards. Keep your comments brief and on point, or one of the Germanic moderators might delete your post. -
We can't take him anywhereHardcoreAnnLanders said:
Dear Octavian,Octavian said:
Salutem HardcoreAnnLanders
I am VI foot V former Roman Caesar and Julian Dynastia Star. I warred at the highest level in a Gladitorium State.
Before Romulus and Remus there was Aeneas, son of Venus, a Trojan who fought in the Trojan War - a valiant
hero who sired the ancestors of Latium.
I am hearing that one Sam Darnold, a barbaricus, lives for FORUMS such as these. Furthermore, that he plied his
professio in the COLLOSEUM, and warred with the Trojans. My shades have been watching live and in transitum
buttfucker.
I am here to decree that these imposters and plebes stop appropriating our cultura. In other verbis, find the era
where this belongs. Stop plagiarism our shit you barbitus cunts ya. Tell them they are little more than timidus
cattus - that they really don't want any in real life.
I like your style. You’re far more entertaining than these other mouth breathers that write to me. However, you might want to consider taking up your grievances on the Half Brain History or Tug Tavern message boards. Keep your comments brief and on point, or one of the Germanic moderators might delete your post. -
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
Does tossing salad make you gay? Asking for 81% of HH
Will take my answer on the air.
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Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
My name is CuntWaffle and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I found out my wife I has been dead for 6 years. Who the hell did I hit? -
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Wait for her life to be a complete and total dumpster fire, then make my move! This is great advice Ann. Just curious, where do you live?HardcoreAnnLanders said:
Dear TKOTCTC,Swaye said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
There is this girl I really like. She's really sexy, witty, smart, and stylish. I've been stalking her for several years. She has had me arrested a few tims, but I'm pretty sure that is how she flirts. She also got a restraining order against me, which I of course saw as moving our relationship into the foreplay category. I was going through her trash last week, and noticed she recently got a concealed carry permit. This turn of events made me quite happy. Our relationship is elevating in her mind I'm sure of it. I do not want you to think all is rosy in our relationship however. I was tracking her movements via a GPS device I installed under her car, and noticed recently it kept going to the same place. So I followed her, keeping 500 yards separation of course like any good court ordered boyfriend would, and she ended up in some bushes outside of someones house, peering into the windows. I hacked the DMV servers to figure out it's some guy named Vorel. Is our love doomed?
The King of the Camelot Trailer Court
While this woman you described sounds incredible, I doubt you’d continue to feel so enamored with the barrel of her Glock 19 9mm handgun pressed up against your dick. Give her some space. Let her get this Vorel person out of her system. Then when she’s in a crying heap on the floor of the 520 Bar & Grill, utterly convinced she’ll never find love again, that’s when you make your move. -
Dear Mr. Cohen,FireCohen said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
Does tossing salad make you gay? Asking for 81% of HH
Will take my answer on the air.
By “tossing the salad” I presume you are referring to the oral sex act of anilingus, and not the literal preparation of lettuce leaves for a meal. While you can also give a rim job to woman, based on your question I’m going to assume you are performing the act with a male partner. But even then, that does not necessarily make you a homosexual/bisexual/or pansexual. There’s plenty of men that are “gay for pay” like you. -
Dear Mr. Waffle,CuntWaffle said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
My name is CuntWaffle and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I found out my wife I has been dead for 6 years. Who the hell did I hit?
If you do not know the name of the person you just assaulted, good manners dictate that you introduce yourself. The other party will need that information when filing their police report. -
Dear InCagesDawg,KidsInCagesDawg said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
Is it true that if I want it sold I should call Kim?
Depends on what’s being sold, how soon you need to close the deal, and who the hell is this Kim person? -
Dear TKOTCTC,Swaye said:
Wait for her life to be a complete and total dumpster fire, then make my move! This is great advice Ann. Just curious, where do you live?HardcoreAnnLanders said:
Dear TKOTCTC,Swaye said:Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders
There is this girl I really like. She's really sexy, witty, smart, and stylish. I've been stalking her for several years. She has had me arrested a few tims, but I'm pretty sure that is how she flirts. She also got a restraining order against me, which I of course saw as moving our relationship into the foreplay category. I was going through her trash last week, and noticed she recently got a concealed carry permit. This turn of events made me quite happy. Our relationship is elevating in her mind I'm sure of it. I do not want you to think all is rosy in our relationship however. I was tracking her movements via a GPS device I installed under her car, and noticed recently it kept going to the same place. So I followed her, keeping 500 yards separation of course like any good court ordered boyfriend would, and she ended up in some bushes outside of someones house, peering into the windows. I hacked the DMV servers to figure out it's some guy named Vorel. Is our love doomed?
The King of the Camelot Trailer Court
While this woman you described sounds incredible, I doubt you’d continue to feel so enamored with the barrel of her Glock 19 9mm handgun pressed up against your dick. Give her some space. Let her get this Vorel person out of her system. Then when she’s in a crying heap on the floor of the 520 Bar & Grill, utterly convinced she’ll never find love again, that’s when you make your move.
At the corner of Fuck Off Ave. and Never Going to Happen Street.
