How do they measure how happy someone is? A survey? Religious people lie. A religious person can have a shitty job, an ugly wife, and tons of debt, but pretend they are happy because they have God. A non religious person is more likely to admit their life sucks.
The religious person believes there is an afterlife, so if they have a shitty life here on Earth, it's not as bad as the person who has a shitty life and thinks that's all there is.
Mormons believe in the Bible and the book of Mormon, which I've read. BTW, Orthodox Churches do not all read the same bible as Catholics and Protestants, (some dispute of Revelation, which I'm also not a fan of). They all might not agree on everything, obviously, but they're all Christians.
Disagree on the Mormons being xian. They deny the trinity and the importance of my resurrection. Fuck them.
You know, South Park pretty much nailed it. Check out the "All About Mormons" episode. Dum dum dum dum dum
What South Park left out is that their religion was born out of a practical joke gone bad. Dad, the holy ghost and I got together to play a practical joke on Joseph Smith.
The holy ghost made himself appear to Joe (I like to call him that) as Moroni. Dad thought that adding "i" to "moron" would give it away but Joe was predictably fucking stupid enough to not notice. Anyway, the plates and all the other shit was fabricated. He even bought the "native Americans used to be white but turned red when they disbelieved" line.
The fucker plagiarized many passages in the King James bible into his book of Mormon. Interesting how he thinks he can pass off Elizibethan English as a 6th century language. Also big on the Mormon reading list is The Pearl of Great Price. Yeah guys - really fucking original.
Anyway, Mormons have been giving the 3 of us plenty of laughs since then.
And the holy underwear bit: You know, chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. One time I did, and those fuckers thought it was something sacred. Go figure...
Well, they believe that you were resurrected in Miami. Very believable because it's a law in New York that ALL JEWS MUST move to Miami eventually, or be forced to bitch about their children 24x7. (See George Costanza)
The part that I couldn't ever quite believe is that the Golden Tablets were 3-Hole Punched. That's impossible. I've worked in several offices, and the 3-Hole Punch is never around. Just sayin.
So I'm getting the feeling you have a thing with the Jews.
Or am I reading too much into it?
Jesus was a Jew. Saint Paul was a Jew. Saint Peter was a Jew. They all started Microsoft (Christianity) in Paul's garage. Start paying attention in my class. The final is coming up. BTW, these are Peter's digs these days, a few short centuries after starting Microsoft (Christianity). What ever happened to "NO GRAVEN IMAGES"? Somebody else is not paying attention. (Paul sold his stock and now owns the Seahawks.)
How do they measure how happy someone is? A survey? Religious people lie. A religious person can have a shitty job, an ugly wife, and tons of debt, but pretend they are happy because they have God. A non religious person is more likely to admit their life sucks.
The religious person believes there is an afterlife, so if they have a shitty life here on Earth, it's not as bad as the person who has a shitty life and thinks that's all there is.
Mormons believe in the Bible and the book of Mormon, which I've read. BTW, Orthodox Churches do not all read the same bible as Catholics and Protestants, (some dispute of Revelation, which I'm also not a fan of). They all might not agree on everything, obviously, but they're all Christians.
Disagree on the Mormons being xian. They deny the trinity and the importance of my resurrection. Fuck them.
You know, South Park pretty much nailed it. Check out the "All About Mormons" episode. Dum dum dum dum dum
What South Park left out is that their religion was born out of a practical joke gone bad. Dad, the holy ghost and I got together to play a practical joke on Joseph Smith.
The holy ghost made himself appear to Joe (I like to call him that) as Moroni. Dad thought that adding "i" to "moron" would give it away but Joe was predictably fucking stupid enough to not notice. Anyway, the plates and all the other shit was fabricated. He even bought the "native Americans used to be white but turned red when they disbelieved" line.
The fucker plagiarized many passages in the King James bible into his book of Mormon. Interesting how he thinks he can pass off Elizibethan English as a 6th century language. Also big on the Mormon reading list is The Pearl of Great Price. Yeah guys - really fucking original.
Anyway, Mormons have been giving the 3 of us plenty of laughs since then.
And the holy underwear bit: You know, chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. One time I did, and those fuckers thought it was something sacred. Go figure...
Well, they believe that you were resurrected in Miami. Very believable because it's a law in New York that ALL JEWS MUST move to Miami eventually, or be forced to bitch about their children 24x7. (See George Costanza)
The part that I couldn't ever quite believe is that the Golden Tablets were 3-Hole Punched. That's impossible. I've worked in several offices, and the 3-Hole Punch is never around. Just sayin.
So I'm getting the feeling you have a thing with the Jews.
Or am I reading too much into it?
Jesus was a Jew. Saint Paul was a Jew. Saint Peter was a Jew. They all started Microsoft (Christianity) in Paul's garage. Start paying attention in my class. The final is coming up. BTW, these are Peter's digs these days, a few short centuries after starting Microsoft (Christianity). What ever happened to "NO GRAVEN IMAGES"? Somebody else is not paying attention. (Paul sold his stock and now owns the Seahawks.)
Comments