So what’s the fucking deal with this White Claw craze?
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Poont of clarification, White Claw is not based on vodka or another neutral spirit. It's a neutered malt beverage just like Zima, Mike's or any other shitty alcopop. Otherwise, it couldn't be carried in the groceries beer & wine section.
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GrundleStiltzkin said:
Poont of clarification, White Claw is not based on vodka or another neutral spirit. It's a neutered malt beverage just like Zima, Mike's or any other shitty alcopop. Otherwise, it couldn't be carried in the groceries beer & wine section.
The more you know....
Still down with vodka.
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Sure, that may be what it is made of, more for tax purposes than anything, but even the common name "spiked seltzer" shows what they are trying to mimic with this creation. Basically, you are what you taste like...No, eww. Ok, your beverage style is what it tastes like.GrundleStiltzkin said:Poont of clarification, White Claw is not based on vodka or another neutral spirit. It's a neutered malt beverage just like Zima, Mike's or any other shitty alcopop. Otherwise, it couldn't be carried in the groceries beer & wine section.
Also, Boston Beer's "Truly" brand, that has about 30% of market to White Claw's 60%, is just made from cane sugar.
(Nobody better fucking call me Malt Liquor Market Superiority Guy!) -
NoWarningJustDawg said:
Sure, that may be what it is made of, more for tax purposes than anything, but even the common name "spiked seltzer" shows what they are trying to mimic with this creation. Basically, you are what you taste like...No, eww. Ok, your beverage style is what it tastes like.GrundleStiltzkin said:Poont of clarification, White Claw is not based on vodka or another neutral spirit. It's a neutered malt beverage just like Zima, Mike's or any other shitty alcopop. Otherwise, it couldn't be carried in the groceries beer & wine section.
Also, Boston Beer's "Truly" brand, that has about 30% of market to White Claw's 60%, is just made from cane sugar.
(Nobody better fucking call me Malt Liquor Market Superiority Guy!)
Don't even make me go there.
#throbberroots
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I'm having a claw at 7:51 am while waiting at the car wash.
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Gas station down/convenience store down the hill from me has a walk-in beer fridge because life is awesome. I'm walking out with a sixer of Coco Jones and a couple of tall boys of Arrogant Bastard last night as two bros are walking in. I overhear one to the other: "Are we really gonna get some Claw?"
HH in real life moment.
I make fun of my wife about 10 times per day for burning through cases of "fizzy water" like it's a magical youth serum. "You're one of the people marketers love: the kind who can be easily convinced to actually pay for water because it's in a colorful can and has a millionth of a cent worth of carbonation in it."
One day I open the fridge, and there's a six pack of some shit called "Truly" in it. I'm like, "What the fuck is this?"
"They actually make alcoholic fizzy water now. I had to try it."
To Mrs. 1to234245weretaken's credit, she found it disgusting and reverted to drinking big, hairy-chested man's drinks the second those things were gone. I was still disappointed, though.
I went from having no idea this shit even existed to not being able to walk down the street without hearing somebody mention it in like a week. Some young marketing school grad is driving a Ferrari somewhere... -
I tried it at a fucking celebration of life earlier this week because of BTP and BitchFork constantly droning on about it.
It was fucking awful. No point to it. But I also am someone who enjoys flavor. So I guess it's not for me to get. But if I was back in college and it was before I met the Mrs., I'd buy a shit load of it if that's what makes the ladies squeel.
It's just funny that this shit goes in cycles and each young kid of each generation think they're the first to fucking do it or try it. From eternal Grandpa Race to youthful and exuberant BTP, every generation of young horny male has bought cheap flavorless alcohol to make the panties drop. -
So much this. FFS all the times some young dumbass has wanted to teach me about IPA or craft beer in general, or thinks he has created some new cocktail that's (almost) as old as Race...DoogCourics said:
It's just funny that this shit goes in cycles and each young kid of each generation think they're the first to fucking do it or try it. From eternal Grandpa Race to youthful and exuberant BTP, every generation of young horny male has bought cheap flavorless alcohol to make the panties drop.
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I see it as a response to lazy millennials’ desire to have consumable products packaged in a way that doesn’t require them to do anything but open, consume and throw away.
Get out bowl, pour cereal, add milk, eat, wash bowl? Pfffft that’s too much effort, would rather open yogurt, eat and throw away cup. Yogurt sales up, cereal sales down.
Same shit with booze. Can’t be bothered to make their own drinks with mixers cause that’s a multi step process. -
It’s tuff to find the time when ur busy running the world. 💯💯💯whlinder said:I see it as a response to lazy millennials’ desire to have consumable products packaged in a way that doesn’t require them to do anything but open, consume and throw away.
Get out bowl, pour cereal, add milk, eat, wash bowl? Pfffft that’s too much effort, would rather open yogurt, eat and throw away cup. Yogurt sales up, cereal sales down.
Same shit with booze. Can’t be bothered to make their own drinks with mixers cause that’s a multi step process. -
At my local mid-scale grocery this morning, which usually has a solid beer aisle. Today I found that 2/3 of the 22oz single section has been replaced by 'Claw, Truly, some other knockoffs, and a shit ton of cider.
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You misspelled ‘ruining’PurpleJ said:
It’s tuff to find the time when ur busy running the world. 💯💯💯whlinder said:I see it as a response to lazy millennials’ desire to have consumable products packaged in a way that doesn’t require them to do anything but open, consume and throw away.
Get out bowl, pour cereal, add milk, eat, wash bowl? Pfffft that’s too much effort, would rather open yogurt, eat and throw away cup. Yogurt sales up, cereal sales down.
Same shit with booze. Can’t be bothered to make their own drinks with mixers cause that’s a multi step process. -
God I love the fuck eyes on that one chick
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Your welcome for the internet that powers this site.PurpleThrobber said:
You misspelled ‘ruining’PurpleJ said:
It’s tuff to find the time when ur busy running the world. 💯💯💯whlinder said:I see it as a response to lazy millennials’ desire to have consumable products packaged in a way that doesn’t require them to do anything but open, consume and throw away.
Get out bowl, pour cereal, add milk, eat, wash bowl? Pfffft that’s too much effort, would rather open yogurt, eat and throw away cup. Yogurt sales up, cereal sales down.
Same shit with booze. Can’t be bothered to make their own drinks with mixers cause that’s a multi step process. -
Al Gore isn't a millennial.PurpleJ said:
Your welcome for the internet that powers this site.PurpleThrobber said:
You misspelled ‘ruining’PurpleJ said:
It’s tuff to find the time when ur busy running the world. 💯💯💯whlinder said:I see it as a response to lazy millennials’ desire to have consumable products packaged in a way that doesn’t require them to do anything but open, consume and throw away.
Get out bowl, pour cereal, add milk, eat, wash bowl? Pfffft that’s too much effort, would rather open yogurt, eat and throw away cup. Yogurt sales up, cereal sales down.
Same shit with booze. Can’t be bothered to make their own drinks with mixers cause that’s a multi step process.
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Haha it's mostly a joke.DoogCourics said:I tried it at a fucking celebration of life earlier this week because of BTP and BitchFork constantly droning on about it.
It was fucking awful. No point to it. But I also am someone who enjoys flavor. So I guess it's not for me to get. But if I was back in college and it was before I met the Mrs., I'd buy a shit load of it if that's what makes the ladies squeel.
It's just funny that this shit goes in cycles and each young kid of each generation think they're the first to fucking do it or try it. From eternal Grandpa Race to youthful and exuberant BTP, every generation of young horny male has bought cheap flavorless alcohol to make the panties drop.
I had never heard of it until 2 weeks ago when at a funeral and my cousins told me I was retarded for not knowing about it
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Cleaned the palatial mountain lodge out for the season today.
There are 14 Claws in my garage now.
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As a product of the late 80's early 90's, it appears what we have done here is come full circle back to wine coolers. Bartles and Jaymes sucked in 1989, and White Claw sucks now. Zima sucked somewhere in the middle. All three have dropped panties. So respect.
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I present the most millennial tattoo of all tim:
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It's truly amazing that us gen X'ers could fornicate simply with the aid of cheap keg beer and a red cup.Swaye said:As a product of the late 80's early 90's, it appears what we have done here is come full circle back to wine coolers. Bartles and Jaymes sucked in 1989, and White Claw sucks now. Zima sucked somewhere in the middle. All three have dropped panties. So respect.
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We? made it up in volume.YellowSnow said:
It's truly amazing that us gen X'ers could fornicate simply with the aid of cheap keg beer and a red cup.Swaye said:As a product of the late 80's early 90's, it appears what we have done here is come full circle back to wine coolers. Bartles and Jaymes sucked in 1989, and White Claw sucks now. Zima sucked somewhere in the middle. All three have dropped panties. So respect.
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It works 81% of the tim everytimDoogCourics said:I tried it at a fucking celebration of life earlier this week because of BTP and BitchFork constantly droning on about it.
It was fucking awful. No point to it. But I also am someone who enjoys flavor. So I guess it's not for me to get. But if I was back in college and it was before I met the Mrs., I'd buy a shit load of it if that's what makes the ladies squeel.
It's just funny that this shit goes in cycles and each young kid of each generation think they're the first to fucking do it or try it. From eternal Grandpa Race to youthful and exuberant BTP, every generation of young horny male has bought cheap flavorless alcohol to make the panties drop. -
I don’t buy claws tho hth. I’ll drink em if that’s is there.
Wine bags are like bringing a dog to the park every single chick flocks to you. I’m a wine bag, shitty whisky, vodka, beer and tequila guy.
Wine bags are the shit tho seriously. College chicks love cheap chugable wine -
Didn’t know gen X invented kegs. Big, if true.YellowSnow said:
It's truly amazing that us gen X'ers could fornicate simply with the aid of cheap keg beer and a red cup.Swaye said:As a product of the late 80's early 90's, it appears what we have done here is come full circle back to wine coolers. Bartles and Jaymes sucked in 1989, and White Claw sucks now. Zima sucked somewhere in the middle. All three have dropped panties. So respect.
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Chicks and kegs? Who did you have at your parties? Fat Messican chicks?
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Yes Fudgie. Us row boat feegs could only get fat Messican chicks. We brought chips and guacamole too.backthepack said:Chicks and kegs? Who did you have at your parties? Fat Messican chicks?
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Sounds like something @IrishDawg22 would enjoyYellowSnow said:
Yes Fudgie. Us row boat feegs could only get fat Messican chicks. We brought chips and guacamole too.backthepack said:Chicks and kegs? Who did you have at your parties? Fat Messican chicks?
